Dick Nipples

[14:26] miss havisham: your penis and jesa's boobs? wow.
[14:26] Everybody sighs. Fine, Jesa, show her the picture.
[14:27] Everybody: After all, she just asked for it.
[14:27] jesabele: she can pay like everyone else
[14:28] miss havisham: lol
[14:28] Everybody: As long as I get my cut. I'm in about 1/4 of that picture.
[14:29] Everybody: You can tell it's me by the vampire fangs on it.
[14:29] Everybody: In red sharpie.
[14:30] miss havisham: oh not THIS again
[14:30] miss havisham: nevermind, i withdraw my request
[14:30] fantabulous: So. Dick nipples?
[14:31] Everybody: Is that my new pornstar name?

Crimbocanus

[12:55] Everybody: I expect the new challenge path will be "Crimbocanus". You have to do all of your adventuring with a crimbocane up your ass.
[12:56] Everybody: Every 10 turns, you HAVE to rest at your campground, because the peppermint starts to burn. 
[12:57] Everybody: Now and then, post-combat, the curly part of the crimbocane will snag a path-specific item. 
[12:57] Everybody: But when that happens, it pulls the crimbocane out and you spend an extra 5 turns cleaning up the mess.
[12:59] Everybody: Additionally, you can use the cane to stir specific former Crimbo beverages, but drinking them gives you 50 turns of the 'dysentarried' effect. 
[12:59] Everybody: (Which gives you penalties to initiative based on drunkenness.)
[13:00] Everybody: You will not use the wand of nagamar on the NS's third form.
[13:02] Everybody: Instead, she will try to use it as a stripper pole, get stuck to it, and die as a normal mortal.

That changes things

[12:25] jesabele: you are not allowed to leave
[12:26] Piter: I do what I want
[12:26] Piter: I answer to no one.
[12:26] Everybody: What about for $30?

One hell of a cake

Big Daddy Grimm: i was up baking cupcakes for my daughter for her student govt election stuff miss havisham: aw! i didn't know you baked :) miss havisham: we finished up the last of my early birthday cake yesterday morning miss havisham: :) Big Daddy Grimm: nothing fancy or from scratch Big Daddy Grimm: i follow the instructions on the box Big Daddy Grimm: but i do replace the vag oil with applesauce Big Daddy Grimm: veg oil... Big Daddy Grimm: damnit miss havisham: llllllllol miss havisham: wrong box, grimmy

Meeting with your Penis

[10:15] zweitracht: Penis, penis, penis, penis all day long!
[10:16] miss havisham: sounds like your day is more fun than mine
[10:16] miss havisham: class and meetings, class and meetings, all day long
[10:34] Gregonzola: Depends on how much you like penis. Neither of you do, so it's not much fun.
[10:39] zweitracht: Well, I like mine.
[10:42] miss havisham: yeah but meetings? they're worse than penis.
[10:43] zweitracht: My penis attends all meetings with me.
[10:43] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: i always bring mine cause SOMEONE has to take notes...
[10:43] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: it asks the probing questions
[10:43] miss havisham: oh, man. there are penises in most meetings i attend.
[10:43] miss havisham: weird.
[10:44] zweitracht: Yeah, Havi, you should shake hands with them.
[10:44] miss havisham: PENISES HAVE HANDS?
[10:44] miss havisham: do they wear creepy white gloves like clowns?
[10:44] miss havisham: no wonder I don't like penises.
[10:45] zweitracht: No, latex gloves. One-fingered.

You're going to want an otter box if you do that

[14:29] fantabulous: I've never had sex with a phone. Is it recommended?
[14:29] Gregonzola: Fanta, depends.
[14:30] zweitracht: Depends on the phone.
[14:30] jesabele: depends on the vibrate function

Money Shots

[13:31] zweitracht: I do get free homebrew because of his influence, though.
[13:31] zweitracht: So, points for him.
[13:31] Gregonzola: He has now tipped the balance way in his favor.
[13:32] jesabele: wait, you are concerned about letting me handle flames and drugs? [No, Jesa, we aren't]
[13:32] miss havisham: i want free homebrew. where do you meet these husbands?
[13:32] miss havisham: craigslist ad in the Havi 4 Homebrew Husbands category?
[13:32] zweitracht: Via their wives.
[13:33] Piter: yes. I don't want to burn to death when you LIGHT MY TOWN ON FIRE
[13:33] zweitracht: How do I meet their wives? Now that, THAT, is a whole 'nother story.
[13:33] Gregonzola: Pooch has a secret Glamor Shots business on the side.
[13:33] Gregonzola: He calls it "Money Shots."
[13:33] zweitracht: But it involves hotels ,booze, and their wives' mothers.
[13:33] zweitracht: I'm glad someone else went there for me. -hic-

Acute or obtuse?

The package designer was obtuse: