Shoo - The God of Member

10:19] Big Daddy Grimm: i was looking for the threesome story on the blog, but i got caught up reading the trolling of kelti post instead...
[10:19] Big Daddy Grimm: gotta love the classics
[10:25] Shoo86: ugh kelti
[10:25] Shoo86: no idea how kelti managed a commendation
[10:25] Shoo86: well i do.. an underplayed class act 1
[10:25] Shoo86: but kelti spews the dumbest shit in there ethat makes no sense
[10:26] Shoo86: has no idea how to speed run and then is giving advice to people
[10:26] Shoo86: its like really.. stfu you have no idea what youre saying
[10:26] Shoo86: my fastest HC run is faster than your fastest SC
[10:26] Big Daddy Grimm: smack her with your e-peen shoo
[10:26] Shoo86: and youre just giving blatently bad info
[10:26] Big Daddy Grimm: she can get an E-concussion
[10:26] Big Daddy Grimm: and ask her "who is your dad-E"
[10:26] miss havisham logged on.
[10:27] Big Daddy Grimm: hey havi, we are talkign about shoo pummeling kelti with his e-penis
[10:27] miss havisham: ...
[10:27] miss havisham: hawt
[10:27] Big Daddy Grimm: Shoo is the E-peen equivalent to Thor
[10:27] miss havisham: on that note i'm gonna log out again
[10:27] Shoo86: well, grimmy is talking about it
[10:27] Shoo86: lol
[10:27] miss havisham logged off.
[10:27] Big Daddy Grimm: he will even name his penis Mjolnir
[10:28] Big Daddy Grimm: and the tattoo on the side will say :If any chick, be she worthy, or just very hot, shall weild the penis of SHOO"
[10:29] Big Daddy Grimm: she really logged out. lucklily I have blog posting abilities...
[10:29] Big Daddy Grimm: which kinda makes me more like Heimdal.
[10:29] Big Daddy Grimm: I can see Shoo's E-peen all the way from ASSGARD

You and me both, Shoo.

Shoo86: Sorry, you don't seem to be cool enough to have a whitelist for a clan like 'sex'.

Office Party

[15:55] fantabulous: So. Office holiday party tomorrow, and I don't know what to wear.
[15:56] fantabulous: It's too cold to show up in just my red sequin boy shorts.
[15:57] Gregonzola: Well, crap. There goes that plan then.

What kind of pussy wouldn't flush a steak?

[15:15] Gregonzola: But we know Pooch. He bows to no demands!
[15:15] SyDNEY REBIK logged on.
[15:16] Gregonzola: He's like a chimpanzee grabbing the boobs of supermodels. No one can stop him. He has no limits.
[15:17] SyDNEY REBIK: i agree.
[15:18] Shoo86: evenin nerds
[15:19] SyDNEY REBIK: Hello Shoo86. Pleasure to meet you.
[15:19] Gregonzola: Shoo's kind of like a chimp, but his no limits actually refers only to flushing things. -hic-
[15:19] Gregonzola: There is nothing Shoo won't flush.
[15:23] Shoo86: syd <3
[15:24] SyDNEY REBIK: back off creeper

'Tis the Season

[14:40] zweitracht: Every kiss begins during kay?
[14:41] Gregonzola: Latin kisses begin with B. Besos!
[14:42] zweitracht: Aaaah, Mexican hookers. *sigh*
[14:44] miss havisham: *makes a christmas list for Pooch*
[14:50] zweitracht: 14-inch dildos with straps of elastic / form-fitting underwear made of clear plastic / 5'4 women a-drunken and coy / these are a few of my favorite toyyyys
[14:52] miss havisham: i knew there was a way to get him into the Christmas spirit. Dildos.

It's all about expectations

[13:55] miss havisham: ok, well.
[13:55] miss havisham: Havi got everything she wanted out of THAT meeting.
[13:55] miss havisham: Next!
[14:09] miss havisham logged off.
[14:09] Everybody: You got oral sex?
[14:10] fantabulous: Man. Oral sex from a meeting just sounds awful.
[14:14] Gregonzola: Depends on the meeting.

Pooch's Production Company

[12:26] fantabulous: This sounds like the plot of the next Pooch Pounders Production.
[12:26] fantabulous: PPP.
[12:27] Gregonzola: Pooch Poundhers Production?
[12:27] Carling logged off.
[12:30] Everybody: Why pound hers when I can pound everyone else's?
[12:33] Gregonzola: Pooch's Prolific Pounding Productions
[12:34] Gregonzola: AKA P4.
[12:37] Everybody: P4 and aft-her.

Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

[11:36] miss havisham: Aw, we found a friend for Pooch on the internet
[11:36] miss havisham: that or a rival. not sure

It's Skippy!

Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army

In a Box

[08:47] MafOOsalah: We wish you a merry penis...
[08:47] MafOOsalah: WE WON'T GO UNTIL WE GET SOME.

Niaga yad nrop yag

[12:32] RAMONE logged on.
[12:32] jesabele: GET OUT
[12:32] MafOOsalah: AND IN AND OUT
[12:33] RAMONE: penisbutt
[12:35] jesabele: NO U
[12:36] RAMONE: asspenisbutt
[12:36] MafOOsalah: RamOne in the AssButt.
[12:37] miss havisham: oh my. it's gay porn day in one sec again! yay!
[12:37] RAMONE: gay porn is nrop yag backwards

Replacement Dicks

[08:40] Everybody: Oh, they can ship me a replacement, but it won't get here until the 2nd.
[08:40] Everybody: Thanks for fucking things up even more fo rme, Walmart.
[08:40] Gregonzola: Dicks.
[08:40] miss havisham: A replacement what, Pooch?
[08:41] miss havisham: A replacement dick from Walmart? Huh. They really do have everything.

Asshattery

[07:43] miss havisham: also i realized i have an aweosme hat
[07:43] miss havisham: i don't know where i got it but it was in my inventory
[07:48] Gregonzola: My favorite is still the asshat. I wish it were more powerful.
[07:49] miss havisham: i like to make them for no particular reason
[07:50] miss havisham: it just brings me a little joy
[08:02] Gregonzola: Making them is fun.
[08:03] Gregonzola: Maybe if you could wrap an asshat in duct tape.
[08:03] miss havisham: what would it be then?
[08:05] Everybody: Gerbilling hat.

Moar Fisting

[11:00] Gregonzola: I'm looking up fisting.
[11:01] Gregonzola: Pooch is in like all of these.
[11:02] MafOOsalah: I'm a hands-on kind of guy!
[11:03] Gregonzola: *hands-in

The Way of the Surprising Fisting

[09:43] Gregonzola: Crimbo is good for leveling with hard monsters.
[09:46] miss havisham: maybe i'll hit 30 by next crimbo
[09:46] miss havisham: i think around 21 in my first ascension i got STINKING BORED and asked shoo to help me level up andthen it went faster ;)
[09:48] Gregonzola: You know, this is where Mafia would help you. Just let it attack a hard area for you day after day.
[09:48] miss havisham: first I'd have to learn how to do that -hic-
[09:48] miss havisham: and learn what a hard area is
[09:48] Everybody: I'll show ya. -hic-
[09:49] miss havisham: I thought you were idle :)
[09:49] Everybody: I'm like the NSA, I'm always on the line.
[09:50] miss havisham: beep beep
[09:53] miss havisham: next time i ascend i am going to talk to shoo first. or someone.
[10:01] MafOOsalah: You should go master of the surprising fisting.
[10:01] miss havisham: I think your hands are better suited for it.
[10:01] miss havisham: Oh, wait.
[10:02] MafOOsalah: They ARE surprising!

Shoo's Holiday Plans

[10:39] Big Daddy Grimm: where is shoo?
[10:40] miss havisham: good question
[10:40] Gregonzola: Shoo's out trying to convince idiots who still believe in the divine to abandon their faith before Christmas.
[10:41] Gregonzola: And punting baby Jesuses out of nativity scenes.
[10:41] miss havisham: he's standing behind bell-ringers giving out candy canes to people who DON'T drop their change in the bucket
[10:42] jesabele: hahaha
[10:43] Gregonzola: Kicking priests in the junk. 

check twice, flush once

Gregonzola: I'm mildly OCD in some ways. Before I throw stuff out I check it several times.  kashieda solves that by not throwing things away
kashieda: which is... not great
 miss havisham: this is why i like living with other humans.
 miss havisham: "will you check to make sure this is the one i mean to throw away?"
 miss havisham: "Yes, Mom."
 MafOOsalah: Huh?
 MafOOsalah: You have someone double check everything you throw away?
 MafOOsalah: I hope this doesn't apply to toilet paper.