Know your Calling

[20:51] patrickcon: MY TURTLES NEED ME

Promises, Promises

[20:27] jon diaz: i have wangs but i'm in ronin and out of pulls -hic-
[20:28] AlbinoPanther: ill pull your wang any day, jon
[20:28] AlbinoPanther waggles eyebrows and winks
[20:28] jon diaz: my samurai training precludes me from using my wangs on civilians.
[20:28] Jesskahh: I'll pull anyone's wang.
[20:28] Jesskahh: Whenever.
[20:28] Jesskahh: Wherever.

How to become a man

[16:09] Hexatomb: see, just walk around naked holding a gameboy color with bacon draped all over you
[16:09] Hexatomb: ladies can't resist
[16:10] Gregonzola: Now I know how to become a man, Hexa. Thank you.

That's a first

[13:32] Hexatomb: TYR MADE ME EXPLODE IN MY PANTS!

What we've learned about Mandy

[08:00] MandyMay flips over the coffin and laughs like a little school girl
[08:01] RikAstley wonders where Mandy got a coffin
[08:01] MandyMay: stole it from the funeral home
[08:02] MandyMay: I axe-murdered all the funeral employees

What we've learned about Mandy is that you should meet her at church, not at a funeral home.

Update:  It's also a bad idea to be Mandy's doctor:

[08:34] MandyMay: I axe-muredered my doctor after he wouldnt probe my twang 

It's not even international talk like a pirate day

[21:21] AlbinoPanther: YO HO YOUR MOTHER IS A WHORE HEX

Why he really comes to chat

[21:10] AlbinoPanther: i only come in to chat with you fucks... and i get South Park quotes.
[21:11] Viral_Effigy: <3
[21:11] jon diaz: and firefly quotes
[21:11] AlbinoPanther: <3
[21:11] AlbinoPanther: you're not all bad.
[21:11] Viral_Effigy: GUESS I BETTER CLIMB THE FUCKING BEANSTALK EH?
[21:11] jon diaz: we're the least benightedly unintelligent lifeforms you've never had to profound lack of pleasure to be unable to avoid meeting?
[21:12] everyman4: CLIMB IT, BITCH!
[21:12] everyman4: he's here for the tits, diaz, he just claims it's for intellectual discourse

It's a good day at the castle

[21:08] Ashrei: damn these giants are hard

What's in your wallet?

[19:29] jon diaz: my fed loan site login is changing?!
[19:29] jon diaz: they already require me to enter about 17 different forms of identification -hic-
[19:29] jon diaz: and an anal probe

Then what is it?

[18:51] Jesskahh: Call me butter, cuz I'm on a ROLL!
[18:51] Jesskahh pokes Hexa in the butt with a cold finger.
[18:51] Jesskahh smacks Hexa in the butt with a wet noodle.
[18:51] Jesskahh hugs Hexa rather tightly. <3
[18:52] jon diaz: this again?!
[18:52] Gregonzola: She likes the butt.
[18:52] Viral_Effigy: this always
[18:52] Hexatomb: Hi Butter
[18:52] Jesskahh: Nah. Just with Hexa. It's a Hexa-attack.
[18:52] Hexatomb: Jess can smack my ass with whatever she wants
[18:52] Jesskahh: Also,
[18:52] Jesskahh pokes Gregonzola in the butt with a cold finger.
[18:53] Jesskahh: ;)
[18:53] Jesskahh: <3 Hexaaaa.
[18:53] Hexatomb: <3
[18:53] Gregonzola: Oh, my butt. A prostate exam with a cold finger? That's so rude!
[18:54] Hexatomb: just one finger though
[18:54] Gregonzola: Good point. That was thoughtful.
[18:54] Guy999: one finger is all you need
[18:54] Guy999: wait what's being talked about
[18:54] Hexatomb: prostate exams, guy
[18:54] Gregonzola: Butts.
[18:55] jon diaz: clan has the butts disease
[18:56] Viral_Effigy: buttttttts
[18:56] Hexatomb: don't be butt shy, jon
[18:57] Guy999: there's a reason it clenches that tight though
[18:57] Hexatomb: for more friction?
[18:57] Guy999: that too
[18:58] Hexatomb shiftily looks around before covering Jess in silly string
[18:58] Guy999: that's no silly string

When /clan goes quiet

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Everyone has their talents

[16:12] everyman4: DIAAAZ! <3
[16:12] jon diaz: where've you been?!
[16:12] everyman4: Studying, man, studying
[16:12] jon diaz: we were about to send out search parties
[16:13] jon diaz: and by "we" i mean "i"
[16:13] jon diaz: and by "search parties" i mean........
[16:13] jon diaz: strippers.
[16:13] everyman4: Stippers are notoriously bad searchers
[16:14] Guy999: Not really
[16:14] Guy999: they're great at finding wallets
[16:14] jon diaz: and crotches

It's all the rage

[16:05] Gregonzola: Every, you can smack me later. I may or may not have impuned your honor.
[16:05] Hexatomb: haha
[16:05] Gregonzola: (Hint: I did.)
[16:06] everyman4: Oh no
[16:06] everyman4: What ever did you say?
[16:06] Hexatomb: something about how your family disgraced the ritual of Hrothgran
[16:06] Hexatomb: and now you must present blood sacrifice
[16:07] Guy999: do you need to wear special robes to attend that?
[16:07] everyman4: That makes sense
[16:07] Hexatomb: just your ceremonial chainmail loincloth, guy

Let this be a warning to the rest of you

[15:51] Viral_Effigy: I once killed hornets and cut off their heads and put them on toothpicks as a warning.
[15:52] Viral_Effigy: and by once I mean last summer.

Oh, baby. Talk dirty to /clan

[15:47] AlbinoPanther: i would gladly clean out your hornet nests

That's very generous

[15:11] Hexatomb: every, you can milk me

Clit stabbing

[14:58] Hexatomb: isnt that 90% of dickstabbing, AP?
[14:58] everyman4: As a person with no dick, I can only imagine that being painful
[14:59] Hexatomb: think of it as uh.. clit stabbing
[14:59] AlbinoPanther: but with much more bleeding
[14:59] Berrasi can't wrap her mind around stabbing things with her clit. o.0
[14:59] everyman4: Sweet merciful Moses
[15:00] Hexatomb: stabbing her clit with sharp objects, hEarty
[15:00] everyman4: No, no thank you.
[15:00] Berrasi: Well, I've done that already
[15:00] everyman4: Pierced, hEarty?
[15:00] Berrasi: I was at one point, yes.

Don't try that at home, kids.

Men and our excuses

[14:03] AlbinoPanther: just got back from a kickass workout
[14:03] AlbinoPanther: feeling pretty fine
[14:03] Gregonzola: AP is ripped.
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: LOL not yet
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: but I plan to be.
[14:04] everyman4: AP is gettin swole
[14:04] everyman4: AP DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: I LIFTED YOUR MOM ONTO MY DICK LAST NIGHT
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: >:L
[14:04] Gregonzola: AP, her mom's dead.
[14:05] Gregonzola: Are you robbin' graves and doin' zombies?
[14:05] AlbinoPanther: awfuck
[14:05] AlbinoPanther: .-.
[14:05] everyman4: Yeah, Greg, dead tired
[14:05] everyman4: from all that dick riding
[14:05] AlbinoPanther: :c meep
[14:05] everyman4: My mom is very assuredly teaching a group of middleschoolers right now.
[14:06] Gregonzola: How to bone down.
[14:06] everyman4: Well, of course, I mean, it's MY mom.
[14:06] AlbinoPanther thought she was a little cold...
[14:08] everyman4: Is that your excuse? "It's cold in here?" You men and your excuses.

The easy way

[13:22] sanitas: omg getting a g-string is so hard
[13:23] Hexatomb: Just wave some singles, g-strings should be tossed your way 

Mai Greeced Up

[09:40] Jick: Oh, huh. Oliver Sudden has covered your with toilet paper.
[09:41] MAi: what did he cover your toiletpaper with.
[09:41] Gregonzola: Mai, you do not want to know.
[09:41] Gregonzola: The toilet paper was not in a pristine state when it was flung.
[09:41] Oliver Sudden grins.
[09:41] Jick: Weird. I have some weird non-dwelling. How did that happen?
[09:41] MAi: you can't tell me what to know!!!!
[09:41] MAi: schroedinger's jick?
[09:41] Gregonzola: What if I'm a Greek deity, Mai?
[09:42] Gregonzola: You're not Greek. That won't help.
[09:42] Hexatomb: is it a Tauntaun, Jick?
[09:42] Gregonzola: His tauntaun didn't make it past the third marker. -hic-
[09:42] Alien_Octopus: I'm Greek.
[09:42] MAi: I was in Greece once
[09:42] Hexatomb: Tauntauns are warmer than the newbie tents at least
[09:42] Calvsie: I was greece once
[09:43] Jick: Yeah, me and my tauntaun were sniffing magic markers, and he turned out three be a total lightweight.
[09:43] Gregonzola: Hexa, but the smell.
[09:43] Jick: Ahem.
[09:43] MAi: so i guess i was in calvsie once
[09:43] Calvsie: oh gawd jick is purple...
[09:43] Oliver Sudden: Sniffing magic markers? :s
[09:43] Flex Luger was a Tauntaun once
[09:43] MAi: definitely had to Greece up for that.

Thought you were safe from the panty crickets? Think again.

[09:21] AlbinoPanther: shaving pubic hair does not cure pubic lice.  
[09:21] AlbinoPanther: my ex's dad caught it once, and I laughed hysterically at his pain    

Promises, promises

Pussycore

[10:42] LindsayLynne: Wet Pussy jumps onto the keyboard and causes you to accidentally hit the Attack button instead of using that skill. GRRRRRRR
[10:43] LindsayLynne: damn you wet pussy
[10:43] Gregonzola: Mandy, if you didn't neglect your wet pussy she wouldn't do that.
[10:43] LindsayLynne: my wet pussy is being mean to me
[10:43] Gregonzola: Stroke her for a while and she'll calm down.
[10:43] AlbinoPanther: lololol LL
[10:44] LindsayLynne: I betcha wet pussy goes into retirement when I get done with this run
[10:44] noeatnosleep: wait wat
[10:45] Gregonzola: Nen doesn't want you to retire your wet pussy.
[10:45] noeatnosleep agrees
[10:45] AlbinoPanther wouldnt mind spending some time petting Mandy's wet pussy.
[10:45] LindsayLynne: but my wet pussy is f*cking everything up -hic-
[10:46] Gregonzola: AP, you'd get tired of her wet pussy slapping away your meat.
[10:46] LindsayLynne: I did give him a tiny bowler, that helps
[10:48] LindsayLynne: Wet Pussy pulls out a tiny bowling ball and hurls it at your opponent, striking him for 10 damage.

Times when I am truly happy

Around the Office

[13:52] Gregonzola: Heh. Just heard in my office: "Can you make that bigger?"
[13:52] Gregonzola: "That's what she said."
[13:53] Hexatomb: haha
[13:53] Hexatomb: I pulled that once here, greg
[13:53] Hexatomb: err
[13:53] Hexatomb: said that once here    

The Palindrome

[13:22] xTyrx: WOW what happend to the palindome?
[13:22] Gregonzola: What happens in the palindrome stays in the palindrome.
[13:23] Hexatomb: Especially the Dr's office
[13:23] Stocks mall multi: false alarm    

Dr. Mandy the HBO Show

[13:17] Gun_Mage: Good Guys After Dark..... sounds like a movie
[13:18] Hexatomb: was it porn, greg?
[13:18] Gregonzola: Of course it was porn. I don't write anything else.
[13:18] Gregonzola: Like Dr. Mandy the HBO show.
[13:18] Gregonzola: She's a urologist who specializes in Viagra overdoses.
[13:19] Hexatomb: I'd watch that
[13:19] Gregonzola: "Dr. Mandy, I'm having a priapism. The staff told me to come right away!"
[13:19] Gregonzola: "I'll take care of that for you. Now just get up on the exam table..."    

Rules and Routing

[13:15] Gun_Mage: I always say clan chat rated R
[13:15] Gun_Mage: X rated chat to Pms
[13:15] Hexatomb: XXX rated chat to my inbox please    

They could cut glass

[13:02] Gun_Mage: hexa, you cold brah? -hic-
[13:03] Hexatomb: ha, G-G-G-GM yeah a-a-a little ;) *brr!*
[13:03] Hexatomb: feel my nipples    

Now all you need

[12:11] Ms Moira McAnally: OMG WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3000 COPIES OF SHADES OF GREY?  

Now all you need is some rope, tape, maybe some pulleys, a trapeze and a sheep and you're all set.

Pissing on her Parade

[11:11] Ms Moira McAnally: I TOTALLY DIDN'T PEE IN HOTTUB
[11:12] Gregonzola: You can. We have filters in there.
[11:13] Ms Moira McAnally: Oh dammit
[11:13] Ms Moira McAnally: What was the point of peeing in there in then? :(    

AP's journey of self discovery

[11:40] AlbinoPanther gropes self
[11:40] AlbinoPanther: I've got TITS    

Spacetripper

[08:27] Bizarre Puppet: This fucking Script for Space trip is a pile of wank :/
[08:28] Gregonzola: How do you pile wank?    
[08:28] Hexatomb: took me a whole day and 11 tries    
    

At least she doesn't eat kittens

[08:25] Gun_Mage looks back at mirella one last time with sad eyes
[08:26] mirella: Sad eyes don't work on me. :| That's for people who have a soul.
[08:26] mirella: Lady Jay has a soul, i hear. Not sure whose.    

She does

[12:22] Lord Stefano: the bots are overcharging
[12:25] Gun_Mage: YOUR MOM OVER CHARGES!!!!!!!!!!    

The Presumptive Nominee

[07:28] Calvsie comes in like a politician
[07:30] SwankyFlea: Calvsie for President!

He'll do a great job, although we do understand there may be somewhat compromising photographs of Calvsie on the internet with a skinned bear on his head.

Enthusiasm for Semi-Aquatic Mammals

[16:14] AliceArmy: 11 hippies defeated; 202 down, 798 left. The Nunnery is now accessible in this uniform!
[16:14] AliceArmy: fuck them
[16:14] AliceArmy: oh wait
[16:14] Ashrei: put them on your pole to avoid the babies and the itchies. -hic-
[16:14] Ashrei: xD -hic-
[16:14] Hexatomb: "the itchies"
[16:15] LuigiHunter: Alice when i'm at hobopolis i'll try to help.
[16:15] Ashrei: he's fighting hippies, not hobos
[16:15] LuigiHunter: Oh hippies, I thought it was hobos.
[16:15] kenNy kamakAZI: Hippos?
[16:16] Ashrei: MOTHER FUCKING YES!    

hEarty was actually happy about finally getting clown shoes, but we're going to pretend she's a hippo enthusiast.