Sunday, August 31, 2014

Doesn't everyone?

[09:43] jon diaz imagines greg with a titanium bear cub strapped to his crotch

Context might help.

[09:39] xTyrx kicks Gregonzola in the nards to keep up the chaos level
[09:39] Gregonzola: I wear a titanium cub, Tyr. -hic-
[09:39] Gregonzola: My last clan trained me well.
[09:39] Gregonzola: er, cup.
[09:39] Gregonzola: They trained me well, except for spelling.
[09:39] xTyrx: Cub eh?
[09:40] xTyrx notices a growling sound coming from gregonzolas pants region
[09:40] xTyrx dumps a bucket of ice water on Gregonzola
[09:40] Gregonzola: That's right. The lion cub will bite you if you try for the nards.
[09:41] Gregonzola shivers
[09:42] Gregonzola: Thanks, Tyr. Now the cub is uncomfortable and my nipples could cut glass.
[09:42] xTyrx offers Gregonzola a sheet of glass
[09:43] Gregonzola cuts it with his nipples
[09:43] jon diaz imagines greg with a titanium bear cub strapped to his crotch
[09:43] jon diaz: i think you want to swap that out with a wolverine for maximum efficacy
[09:43] Gregonzola: Jon, that's a good idea.
[09:43] Gregonzola straps on a titanium wolverine cub
[09:43] xTyrx: Honey badger
[09:43] xTyrx: Or a Tasmanian Devil
[09:44] Gregonzola: Honey badger might eat my naughty bits as a snack.
[09:44] Gregonzola: Nobody wants that.
[09:44] jon diaz: lol
[09:44] xTyrx: Gregonzola the man with the Nards made of Bear cubs
[09:44] jon diaz: that's why you have to use the Sontaran battle strategy.
[09:44] jon diaz: just keep thrusting your crotch at enemies so he doesn't have time to become interested in yours
[09:44] Gregonzola: Good idea.
[09:45] Gregonzola: And maybe feed him well.
[09:45] jon diaz: on the blood of your enemies
[09:45] xTyrx: and remember always keep some raw meat on you to feed him if you have no enemies near by
[09:46] xTyrx: some guy named steve and his robotic Turtle in his pants
[09:46] Gregonzola: Steve is the minecraft guy.
[09:46] Gregonzola: He's kind of a blockhead. A real square.
[09:46] Gregonzola: I'm here all week.
[09:47] xTyrx: gregonzola is the lover across games there isn't a game character he can't seduce except Bowser
[09:47] Gregonzola: If you're challenging me I might be able to seduce Bowser.
[09:47] Gregonzola: I have some talents in that area. Not to toot my own horn.
[09:48] xTyrx: Goood luck
[09:48] jon diaz: don't toot your own horn in public
[09:48] jon diaz: it's rude
[09:49] jon diaz: also it would probably attract the attention of the wolverine cub
[09:49] xTyrx: Gregonzola is so manly he can seduce dinosaurs O.O
[09:49] xTyrx: is there anything he can't bang?
[09:49] Gregonzola: There is not.
[09:50] Gregonzola: I may not be good at much, but I can seduce dinosaurs and marine mammals.
[09:50] xTyrx throws a flaming dolphin at Gregonzola
[09:51] Gregonzola: Burning love is the best love. 
[09:59] jon diaz: if your love is burning, you did something wrong
[09:59] jon diaz: go see a doctor 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Especially then

[20:08] Berrasi: I prefer to watch girls over guys >>
[20:09] skullfark soulshasser: everybody likes lesbians
[20:09] Berrasi: never said I was a lesbian.
[20:09] skullfark soulshasser: i never did either
[20:09] Berrasi: I just don't find a dude sweating and making faces all that attractive.
[20:10] skullfark soulshasser: even if he's mustachioed and fat?

The Rules of Self-Love

[19:57] offcell: .count love me
[19:57] offcell: misfire
[19:57] offcell: lol
[19:58] Gregonzola: So there offcell was, counting the number of times he'd loved himself today...
[19:59] offcell: i hit the . instead of /, fml :(
[19:59] offcell: just realized
[20:00] Berrasi just might be in love with offcell.
[20:00] offcell: I love me, you don't love me. you can't
[20:00] offcell: because I LOVE ME!
[20:01] Berrasi: fine! Love yourself!
[20:02] Berrasi: there ain't no love like my love though xD
[20:02] offcell: i'm curious of your love now Berrasi...
[20:03] Berrasi chuckles and saves all of her love for herself later tonight.
[20:03] Berrasi: and sorry boys, no pictures!
[20:04] offcell walks away, deeply saddened, but then realizes he doesn't like girls anyway, so shrugs it off
[20:04] Berrasi: hah!
[20:04] Berrasi: now I know I <3 offcell.
[20:04] offcell: but you can't
[20:05] offcell: don't you remember?
[20:05] offcell: I LOVE ME!
[20:05] skullfark soulshasser: don't love yourself in public
[20:05] skullfark soulshasser: it's rude

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Interactive voice response and Voice to Text

[17:42] Viral_Effigy: and it won't connect you until you at least try using the IVR
[17:42] everyman4: everyone knows the press zero button and they are trying to circle vent that
[17:42] everyman4: circumvent
[17:42] everyman4: come on samsung
[17:42] Viral_Effigy: no i like circle vent better
[17:42] Viral_Effigy: we're going with circle vent
[17:43] everyman4: like a circle jerk for farting