Kingdom of Celibacy

Miss Havisham: omg what, are we talking about celibacy in this clan?
Miss Havisham: finally, something I know about
Gregonzola: Havi, some of us are celibate, others of us are not.
Gregonzola: But we can all discuss it.
Gregonzola: Boy, abstaining from sex is a good idea
Gregonzola: Some days, I really tire of love making and think, "I should be celibate today."
Gregonzola: Said no one, ever.
Gregonzola: Sorry, that last part was supposed to stay in my head instead of coming out.
Nitron: oh, one day after work, a few coworkers and I went to a bar.
Nitron: so, I have a few, but am by no means drunk. we're just sitting at the table, and I shout out "I'm a virgin!"
Nitron: Chuck, one of the guys with us, fell out of his chair laughing
SyDnEy ReBiK: I'm a virgin
SyDnEy ReBiK: Said no one, ever.

Kissing a Stingray

screechpowers: I kissed a sting ray yesterday

screechpowers: It was terrifying

Ramone: pics or it didn't happen

screechpowers: I didn't take any I don't think

screechpowers: It was like in the middle of the ocean

Gregonzola: Did you kiss a stingray and like it?

screechpowers: Haha yes and a dolphin

screechpowers: And I sang that song

Gregonzola: Great minds, Screech.

screechpowers: And I drank a coconut

screechpowers: And it was gross

Gregonzola: And oddly, office cat, too. 

Gregonzola: Great minds and office cat think alike.

screechpowers: Haha yes

Gregonzola: Office cat is street, though. She will cut you. 

Screech kissing a stingray. No, really.

Pooch's Rest Stop Story

Miss Havisham: I want Pooch's rest stop BJ story memorialized.

You asked for it, Havisham.

Puccini: So, my virgin roomie, who had no right to make any demands because that lazy bitch hadn't found a job in a year ...
Puccini: Asked me once to go away for the night so her beau could come over.
Puccini: And I thought. "Oh. OH. Ok."
Puccini: So I made the two hour drive up to fort collins, hung out until 2am, and said "Well, she better be done by now."
Puccini: So on the way back I stop to take a piss and dawdle enother 5 minutes.
Puccini: I walk in and this dude is blowing another dude at the urinal.
Puccini: And so I just give them a polite nod and say "Good evening, gentlemen."
Puccini: By the time I was done whizzing they'd run off.
Puccini: So I was a bit annoyed, and I get home.. AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN PUT OUT.
Puccini: THEY ATE MOZARELLA STICKS THEN HE WENT HOME.

Smooth, Pooch, smooth.

Puccini: My psychic twin had a better response when I told him the story.

Puccini: "Unzip your fly and say, 'I'm next!'"