Prehensile Love is in the Air

[21:33] TeamSpeakUser: Okay, you fairly skinny then AP, wink wink, nudge nudge?
[21:33] AlbinoPanther: :| yes
[21:33] AlbinoPanther backs away from the winking and nudging
[21:33] TeamSpeakUser: ;)
[21:34] everyman4: yeah, this is getting kiiiiiinda playfully flirty.
[21:34] everyman4 gets popcorn
[21:34] jon diaz: backing away won't help when we're all 6' and prehensile  

Saving Oliver Sudden

[10:17] Oliver Sudden: Apparently my doctor is trying to kill me
[10:17] Oliver Sudden: When I went to pick up medication from the pharmacy, the pharmacist was pretty adamant that I shouldn't be taking it with another one I take. She had to call the doctor to make sure. :O
[10:18] xTyrx plots to kill Oliver's doctor to save the Epic Scotsman
[10:18] Gun_Mage: oh my
[10:19] xTyrx begins building a bomb out of dryer lint and bleach
[10:20] xTyrx searches his belly button for more lint
[10:21] xTyrx can't find enough so he searches GM's belly button too [10:22] Gregonzola donates
[10:24] xTyrx begins building the C4 out of lint and baking soda
[10:24] Oliver Sudden: What happened to the bleach?
[10:25] xTyrx: Its goes to the dentonater
[10:25] xTyrx: OBVIOUSLY
[10:25] Oliver Sudden: Oh!
[10:25] xTyrx would expect EVERYONE to know how to make c4 out of Lint and bleach and baking soda
[10:25] Oliver Sudden: Sorry, I'm not very up-to-date on bomb-making.
[10:27] xTyrx feels sad for oliver

The Paleo Diet and Jabba the Hut

[10:07] Gun_Mage: oliver, Im on the paleo diet
[10:07] Gun_Mage: more like lifestyle
[10:07] Gregonzola: Oh, my bad. He does eat squirrels.
[10:08] xTyrx: and the occasional dead human
[10:08] Oliver Sudden: As in, eating what our ancestors would have eaten?
[10:08] Gregonzola: GM, paleolithic man probably still clubbed women over the heads. I believe we've just solved your marriage problem.
[10:08] Oliver Sudden: Yeah, we've evolved quite a bit from those days.
[10:09] xTyrx: Clubs are to messy you would be better off with a sharp stick
[10:09] Gun_Mage: basically
[10:09] Gun_Mage: this is how you can sum up my diet
[10:09] Gun_Mage: I am grain and dairy free
[10:09] Gun_Mage: and I eat protein, and veggies, and SOME fruit
[10:09] Gun_Mage: thats basically it
[10:09] Oliver Sudden: Why only some fruit?
[10:09] Gregonzola: Oliver, his wife needs a clubbing. It's not something I'd say lightly, as I don't believe in violence against women.
[10:09] Gregonzola: It turns out he married Jabba the Hut.
[10:09] Gun_Mage: heh
[10:10] Oliver Sudden: Gosh Greg.
[10:10] Gun_Mage: yep =(
[10:10] Gregonzola: I'm okay with violence against Jabba.
[10:10] Gun_Mage: lol
[10:10] Viral_Effigy: Ohhh ho ho usa do hajva wo Greg
[10:10] Gun_Mage: at least she LETS me still diet
[10:10] Gun_Mage: but she gets mad at me when girls notice me =P
[10:11] Big Daddy Grimm: what about when guys check you out?
[10:11] Gun_Mage: lol
[10:11] xTyrx: I was just about to ask that
[10:11] Gun_Mage: olivers the only guy who checks me out, and she doesnt know him =P

He'll think of a reason later

[10:08] Big Daddy Grimm: i have a newfound hatred of all things rodent
[10:08] Gregonzola: Why, Grimmy?
[10:08] Big Daddy Grimm: i need a reason?

So many adventures

[11:01] Betafly has 200 adventures
[11:01] Betafly: guess i should spend them :P
[11:02] AlbinoPanther: probly
[11:02] AlbinoPanther has 200 adventures too
[11:03] Guy999: has 0 adv -hic-
[11:04] Penokean wiggles eyebrows.  I'll give you an adventure.
[11:04] Guy999: no thanks -hic-
[11:04] Penokean: LMAO
[11:04] Guy999 is only available to those of japanese ethnicity
[11:04] Penokean: Guy, you crack me up. Someday, I'll find your funny bone
[11:05] Betafly: not that hard to find :P

Guy's Lunch Plans

[09:19] Guy999: lunch = faps

Finding hope

[10:30] Gun_Mage: don't mind Hexa, he has anxieties
[10:30] Gun_Mage: Hexa, watch out for stranger danger
[10:30] Hexatomb: I NEED AN ADULT
[10:31] Oliver Sudden is an adult.
[10:31] Gun_Mage grabs Hexa's hand and leads him to the lost child center
[10:31] Mco: Hexa, you are looking in the wrong place n.n
[10:32] Hexatomb: true
[10:32] Hexatomb: most of the adults here would molest me
[10:32] Oliver Sudden: Someone's confident.
[10:32] Gun_Mage:  Hexa, you're not THAT good looking =P
[10:33] Hexatomb: don't need to be
[10:33] Hexatomb: children are ugly and they get molested all the time
[10:33] Hexatomb: I have a chance!

Mr. Obama and the Potty

[10:09] Calvsie: I wonder if Obama plays KOL...
[10:09] Dizthebear: What if I'm Obama?
[10:10] Oliver Sudden: Diz is Obama?
[10:11] xTyrx: tsk tsk Mr. President you need to learn how to use the toliet ;)
[10:11] Dizthebear: Well I uh...  Obamacare for everyone. 

Every's a Beaver

There's a definite article in there, boys.  Don't get excited.

[19:38] everyman4: I use sandpaper every day. You guys already know more than me. I feel dumb.
[19:39] AlbinoPanther: ... why do you use sandpaper every day? O_o
[19:39] Hexatomb: guys know how to polish the wood from birth
[19:39] everyman4: At work, AP
[19:39] jon diaz: every is secretly a beaver
[19:39] jon diaz: has to sand down the teeth because they don't stop growing
[19:40] everyman4: It's not a secret, Diaz/.
[19:40] everyman4: Now everyone knows.
[19:40] everyman4: GEE THANKS.
[19:40] everyman4: Dam it.

Party on Aisle 15

Jon and Hexa Know Their Sauce

[19:13] jon diaz: guy is clearly 10
[19:13] Guy999: fite me jon
[19:13] Guy999: raight nao
[19:13] Guy999: fite me
[19:13] jon diaz: I'll fight you over that spelling
[19:14] jon diaz downs guy with a single saucegeyser and runs away
[19:14] jon diaz: nah, i'm an hc sc, i can't saucegeyser
[19:14] Gregonzola: Jon, with that 13.5" sword I've heard you can saucegeyser any time you like.
[19:15] jon diaz: i only have one kind of sauce tho
[19:15] jon diaz: and a lot of people don't like the flavor
[19:15] everyman4: A light cream sauce?
[19:15] jon diaz: oddly enough, it tastes like pan-seared tilapia
[19:15] everyman4: Hexa knows more about sauce than any of us.
[19:17] Hexatomb: and yes, I know a lot about sauce :p

A dangerous offer

[08:35] Dizthebear: I'll take on whatever loads Greg doesn't want to deal with.

Gettin' all lathered up

[22:26] jon diaz: AP gets all the sweat out of his system during his strenuous sexual activity
[22:26] AlbinoPanther: ^
[22:27] AlbinoPanther: what can I say, hex takes a lot out of me.

VE Has Hulk Hands

[21:31] Viral_Effigy: AND I SWEAR IF JICK FUCKS ME OUT OF MY 4 DAY RUN I WILL GO TO KOLCON THIS YEAR JUST TO PUNCH HIM IN THE ASSHOLE. WHILE WEARING HULK HANDS.

Japanese is the Real Language of Love

[20:56] Baron Ultima: where are jon's pants?
[20:56] jon diaz: i accidentally so hard i lost them
[20:57] Gregonzola: Donde estan los pantalones de Jon?
[20:57] Gregonzola: That's the Spanish translation. I don't know it in German.
[20:57] xTyrx: Jon doesn't wear pants
[20:58] xTyrx: Ich meine Hose verloren I think is German not 100%
[20:58] Gregonzola: I like it. Close as we're going to come.
[20:59] jon diaz: Ich habe meine Hosen verloren
[20:59] Gregonzola: Nice.
[20:59] Baron Ultima: yeah
[20:59] jon diaz: helping verb
[21:00] jon diaz: conversational past tense, you add haben or sometimes sein to it
[21:00] jon diaz: future tense, you add werden
[21:01] jon diaz: Ich verlore meine Hosen
[21:01] jon diaz: Ich habe meine Hosen verloren
[21:01] jon diaz: Ich werde meine Hosen verloren
[21:02] jon diaz: then you get into the fun stuff like narrative past tense and theoretical tense
[21:02] jon diaz: saying "I would lose my pants" gets crazy
[21:03] Gregonzola: No let's say you're at a bar.
[21:03] Gregonzola: And you're hitting on some hot frau.
[21:03] Gregonzola: What is, "I'd like to take your pants off with my teeth"?
[21:03] jon diaz: hmm
[21:04] jon diaz: Ich will deine Hosen ausgenenimmt?
[21:04] Gregonzola: I like it. I'm going to Germany!
[21:05] jon diaz: mit meine Ze:hne
[21:05] jon diaz: Ich will deine Hosen mit meine Za:hne ausgenenimmt
[21:05] jon diaz: because if you're saying that, why not address them informally ;)
[21:06] Gregonzola: Good point.
[21:06] jon diaz: "If you don't mind, I would be much obliged if you'd kindly let me remove your pants with my teeth"
[21:07] jon diaz: I'm sure you could communicate that in Japanese in about 7 words

Where not to stick your Dick

[20:00] AlbinoPanther flops
[20:00] jon diaz: hey AP
[20:01] Gregonzola scratches AP's ears
[20:01] Gregonzola: Sorry, AP, looks like we're ladyless tonight.
[20:02] AlbinoPanther shrugs
[20:02] AlbinoPanther: i already pissed off one tonight
[20:02] Viral_Effigy: who'd you piss off?
[20:02] Gregonzola: Oh, no. What went wrong?
[20:02] AlbinoPanther: one of my best IRL friends
[20:02] AlbinoPanther: :/
[20:02] skullfark soulshasser: :(
[20:02] Gregonzola: Sorry, man. That's no fun.
[20:03] AlbinoPanther: the plumbing in my house fucked up and flooded part of the kitchen again
[20:03] AlbinoPanther: it got UNDER the flooring
[20:03] Gregonzola: Have you money for flowers? Flowers can fix many things.
[20:03] AlbinoPanther: and also into the crawlspace
[20:03] Gregonzola: Not good.
[20:03] AlbinoPanther: she is a gardener. xD
[20:03] skullfark soulshasser: ha
[20:03] AlbinoPanther: so, she cracked a joke about getting a snorkel and i snapped at her for it
[20:04] AlbinoPanther: .. it's been running since sunday, greg. we just noticed it now, because it finally flooded enough to come out of the cabinet.
[20:04] Gregonzola: Yah, home damage is hard to have a sense of humor about.
[20:04] AlbinoPanther: ikr
[20:04] AlbinoPanther: so, we had an argument about that
[20:04] AlbinoPanther: and made up, somewhat
[20:04] xTyrx wanders in
[20:04] AlbinoPanther: but i still feel like a jerk about it
[20:06] AlbinoPanther shrugs
[20:06] skullfark soulshasser: this calls for an epic song
[20:06] skullfark soulshasser: [link] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3ntHpYocc0
[20:07] skullfark soulshasser: a friend of mine told me about these guys last night
[20:07] skullfark soulshasser: ironically because his brother thought i had told him about them
[20:07] Gregonzola: Full circle!
[20:08] AlbinoPanther: i adore tarja, not so much nightwish as a group
[20:08] skullfark soulshasser: rocks out so fukkin hard
[20:08] skullfark soulshasser: this is the album after she left i believe
[20:08] AlbinoPanther: she's crazy as fuck but What Lies Beneath is such a good album
[20:09] AlbinoPanther: oh, then fuck that
[20:09] AlbinoPanther: (looool, fuck hat)
[20:09] skullfark soulshasser: aww
[20:12] Hexatomb: Never stick your dick in crazy
[20:12] skullfark soulshasser: who's this Crazy person
[20:12] skullfark soulshasser: did somebody misspell "Candy" on her birth certificate
[20:12] Hexatomb: I dunno, I missed the whole conversation
[20:12] Viral_Effigy: never stick your dick in a toaster. unless you're bread.
[20:13] skullfark soulshasser: i'm guessing this is someone AP was not sticking his dick in
[20:13] Gregonzola: A friend made a joke a bit too soon about water damage. AP wasn't ready for it and reacted poorly.
[20:14] Gregonzola: This caused a temporary rift, but AP is still a bit miffed.
[20:14] Hexatomb: He was talking about a fuck hat, so I have no idea
[20:14] AlbinoPanther: LOL
[20:14] Gregonzola: So, she's definitely not getting any panther meat.
[20:14] skullfark soulshasser: that's what the kids are calling condoms these days
[20:14] skullfark soulshasser: fuck hat for little william -hic-
[20:14] Hexatomb: William, so formal
[20:15] AlbinoPanther: ahahaha
[20:15] skullfark soulshasser: put it on your pole
[20:15] skullfark soulshasser: [link] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2oMMZ59Lgk
[20:15] skullfark soulshasser: the guy with the penis vagina aliens
[20:15] skullfark soulshasser: only they had to take the penises out
[20:15] skullfark soulshasser: ...and also the vaginas.

Food is good soup

[21:07] Gregonzola:  I'm moving to Oregon.
[21:11] Gregonzola: I think Salem.
[21:11] AlbinoPanther: i wish i could move to salem, greg.
[21:11] everyman4: Oh, man, I'm like, 30 seconds away from Salem
[21:11] everyman4: Move here, AP!
[21:12] Gregonzola: AP, you can. Move with me!
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: wrong salem 
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: i was thinking about salem, Mass. :P
[21:12] Gregonzola: We can have picnics and stuff.
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: yeahhhhh
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: no.
[21:12] Gregonzola: Every, will you have picnics with me?
[21:13] everyman4: Fine, AP is uninvited to KoL picnic time.
[21:13] everyman4: SCREW YOU THERE'S A PADDLEBOAT
[21:13] AlbinoPanther: ahahahaha
[21:13] everyman4: Of course, Greg
[21:13] Gregonzola: Yay!
[21:13] Gregonzola: Game on.
[21:13] everyman4 looks around for someone to save her from this
[21:13] everyman4: Anybody? No? DID WE ALL FORGET HE WAS A PEDOPHILE LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO?
[21:14] everyman4: AP, come be my third wheel
[21:14] Gregonzola: Every, I'd never do that to you. And I'm no pedophile. I'm a donutsexual.
[21:14] everyman4: We can make Greg the third wheel
[21:14] Gregonzola: I only make love to donuts.
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: oooh~
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: i'm ok with that, every
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: ...
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: christ on a cracker Greg
[21:14] everyman4: You like to do nuts?
[21:15] Gregonzola: I'm only kidding on the donuts. Every has accused me of loving ponies and kids. I figured we'd give her baked goods, too.
[21:15] Gregonzola: I was considering soup, but let's be honest. You can't do that with soup. 
[21:16] AlbinoPanther: challenge accepted, greg. 
[21:16] everyman4: Not with that attitude, Greg

There is no context that could make this better

[16:07] AlbinoPanther:  Calvsie, stop calling your wife's penis a "dragon."

It's hard to imagine how that could be anything else

[15:50] Stocks mall multi: the locust will feast upon my genitalia
[15:51] Stocks mall multi: oops misfire

Come On

[21:05] jon diaz: OH COME ON
[21:05] jon diaz: "Before I'm gonna let you through this room," says the shark, "you're gonna have to sink the 8 Ball. But you gotta do it off of 1,892 rails, or it doesn't count."
[21:05] jon diaz: You manage to pocket the 8 Ball, but only off of 1,891 rails. "Sorry," says the shark. "Better luck next time."
[21:05] AlbinoPanther: LOL
[21:06] AlbinoPanther: that's beautiful, jon
[21:06] jon diaz: fml
[21:06] AlbinoPanther pats jon
[21:07] jon diaz: not sure whether i can get much farther in the basement at my current level
[21:07] jon diaz: :P
[21:07] Gregonzola: AP, he's upset. Don't pat his butt.
[21:07] Zeklan: oh oops
[21:07] jon diaz: fuck it
[21:07] jon diaz: 218
[21:07] Zeklan backs away from jon butt
[21:08] jon diaz: not my butt
[21:08] jon diaz: the "fuck it" was directed at the basement