Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Questions that need Answering

[20:41] PerilousApricot: man, the kreuggerand drop rate blows megadicks
[20:41] skullfark soulshasser: or supercocks?
[20:41] everyman4: how large is a megadick compared to say the average cock?
[20:41] PerilousApricot: I didn't want to have it be ambiguous with superhuman cocktailcrafting -hic-
[20:41] everyman4: could a layman easily blow three in an hour?

Mad Credz

[20:30] everyman4: I'M SMART ABOUT COLORS
[20:30] everyman4: AND I MAKE A HELL OF A MEATLOAF

Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Client List

[12:54] blazikeaton: This room is too boring.
[12:54] blazikeaton: ACTIVATE RANDOM POWERS!!!
[12:54] Gregonzola: Sorry, Blazi. What do you like to talk about?
[12:54] blazikeaton: I AM A BANANA.
[12:54] lord_wyrme31: Greg is just trying to curry favor from you, I ignore such frivolous actions
[12:54] Gregonzola: I don't want to talk about your banana.
[12:55] blazikeaton: lololololololololol
[12:55] Gregonzola: Or curry banana.
[12:55] Gregonzola: Which sounds awful.
[12:55] miss havisham: ew
[12:55] Gun_Mage: eewwww
[12:55] miss havisham: that does sound awful
[12:55] blazikeaton: HOLY SHIIT HE IS NOT A NINJA!!!
[12:55] Gregonzola is a ninja secret agent platypus
[12:55] blazikeaton starts waving his arms in an impossible manner.
[12:55] xTyrx starts following Greg around and making secret agent themed sound effects
[12:56] Gregonzola: Sweet. Now I have my own bard.
[12:56] SindeeTots: I'd eat a curry banana for money
[12:56] Gregonzola: Sindee is braver than I am.
[12:56] Gun_Mage: sindee, youd do ANYTHING for money
[12:56] Gun_Mage: ANYTHING
[12:56] Gun_Mage: A
[12:56] Gun_Mage: N
[12:56] Gun_Mage: Y
[12:56] Gun_Mage: T
[12:56] Gun_Mage: H
[12:56] Gun_Mage: I
[12:56] Gun_Mage: N -hic-
[12:56] Gun_Mage: G
[12:56] lord_wyrme31: Please to not spam chat, kthnxbai
[12:56] SindeeTots: just throw it in my mouth
[12:56] Gregonzola: Um, you know, suggesting she'd do anything for money might give people certain notions.
[12:56] Gun_Mage: "anythung"
[12:56] miss havisham: You have arrived, Greg
[12:57] Gun_Mage: greg, watch this
[12:57] blazikeaton: OHO!
[12:57] Gun_Mage: hey sindee!
[12:57] lord_wyrme31: You don't know Sindee very well then Greg lol
[12:57] SindeeTots: nowdy
[12:57] Gun_Mage: would you do anything for money?
[12:57] SindeeTots: howdy
[12:57] Gregonzola: Also, who is "Anything" and why is the client list so short?  
[12:57] SindeeTots: of course, I have no morals
[12:57] lord_wyrme31: It's because anything has a big penis    

Usually it takes longer

[12:25] stealthhunter: i did a gender change today    

You Know it's Cold Outside When


My other Dildo

[11:44] Abyssal Bandit is actually kind of curious to see if there's a KoL dildo....
[11:45] Gun_Mage: buy a dildo, put a sticker on it
[11:45] Gun_Mage: BOOM
[11:45] Abyssal Bandit: get a sticker that says "my other dildo is made of meat"
[11:46] Gregonzola: Or, "An Orgasmer is you!"    

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

What Lia wants, Lia gets

[15:44] Lia_Sang: Hey, greg: unicorns are not what you think they are
[15:44] Gregonzola: Lia, that's Jesabele's definition.
[15:44] Lia_Sang: ok, good, because that is the wrong definition
[15:45] Lia_Sang: a unicorn is a sexy bi lady who will have a threeway with you and your girlfriend.
[15:45] Gregonzola: Hawt.
[15:45] Lia_Sang: (becuase they are rare like unicorns)
[15:45] Gregonzola: If you want funny, though, you need to go back to Ugly Sweaty Party.
[15:45] BumbleBeeScott: lol
[15:45] Lia_Sang: I don't want funny, though
[15:45] Gregonzola: [link] http:// kolcrap.blogspot.com /2013/03/thoms-big- adventure.html
[15:46] Lia_Sang: I want sexy bi ladies.
[15:46] Lia_Sang: I mean.
[15:46] Lia_Sang: I want food.

Eddo rates Gun Mage's Equipment

[10:55] Gun_Mage: eddo, xtyrx, rate my equips?
[10:55] eddo: quite strong!
[10:55] eddo: how much muscle? 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Monday, January 13, 2014

Clan Rules

[13:45] Gun_Mage: NO POOTING
[13:45] Viral_Effigy poots in GM's thermos when he isn't around 

Who is Lord Wyrme?

[13:28] Lord_Wyrme: <------ is a hating hater who hates

Glad we nailed that down

[13:12] Viral_Effigy drunkenly wanders through the gates and gets naked
[13:12] Gun_Mage: itll be fun
[13:12] Lord_Wyrme: You three are the clan three stooges
[13:12] QuantumLlama: I believe they have enough to make 4 stooges.
[13:12] Gregonzola: This night, you shall be visited by three stooges.
[13:12] Gun_Mage: hey quantum
[13:12] xTyrx: waiiit what type of restrictions does it have?
[13:12] QuantumLlama: (Don't know who we're talking about. Just got here.)
[13:12] xTyrx checks the trendy
[13:13] Gun_Mage: eddo says hi meins can be consumed
[13:13] Gregonzola: Quantum, Gun Mage, Tyre and Viral Effigy are the clan three stooges according to Wyrme.
[13:13] Calvsie dramatically dances into the room
[13:13] Lord_Wyrme: VE is moe, Tyr is Larry and GM is curly
[13:13] Gun_Mage: but Im skinny and not bald.....
[13:14] QuantumLlama: Oh. DEFINITELY enough for four. >: )
[13:14] Big Daddy Grimm: but there are four of them listed...
[13:14] Viral_Effigy: someone has to be Shemp
[13:14] Viral_Effigy: LW, you're Shemp
[13:14] Calvsie: I can shemp
[13:14] Gun_Mage: early shemp??? or late shemp?
[13:14] QuantumLlama: Maybe we can be Danny, Donny, Joe, John, and Jordan.
[13:14] Lord_Wyrme: Nope cal is curly and GM is sheep

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Yilf in Hell

[14:48] fantabulous: Yeah. Beyond the "Yiff in hell" or "How many dogs have you fucked?" comments, I don't see the big deal about mentioning that one is a furry.
[14:49] kashieda: I read that as "Yilf in hell"
[14:50] Gregonzola: I did, too. -hic-
[14:52] jesabele: I read it the same
[14:52] Gregonzola: From the makers of Breaking Bad comes a new series.
[14:52] Gregonzola: About an innocent girl facing a less-than-innocent situation.
[14:52] kashieda: Good Bonings?
[14:52] Gregonzola: YILF IN HELL
[14:52] Gregonzola: I think Yilf may be asexual.
[14:53] Gregonzola: I'm not even sure she has a vagina.
[14:53] Gregonzola: And please, if anyone's sure don't tell me.
[14:56] Gregonzola: And all goes silent again. I'm just engaging in chatsturbation here.
[14:57] kashieda: you are
[14:57] Everybody: Yilf is not asexual.
[14:57] kashieda: and then we come
[14:57] Gregonzola: Dammit, Pooch.

Oh, just put that anywhere

[13:44] jesabele: I don't even know what you are talking about but I have a wide variety of preferences
[13:45] miss havisham: well, was talking about food but go ahead and take it another place if you like
[13:50] jesabele: "go ahead and take it another place if you like." I have said that before

Unicorns, Whoring and Lady Liberty

[12:17] Gregonzola: Kash, "Unicorns" is clan slang now for orgasms resulting from intercourse not involving stimulation of the clitoris. Jesa had a BF who could make her climax without clitoral interaction. Now (quite understandably) no other male measures up.
[12:18] kashieda: aaaahhhh
[12:18] kashieda: that sounds like FUN
[12:19] Gregonzola: I'm sure it is. I don't have a vagina or clitoris to test out how fun, but I'm willing to believe her.
[12:19] kashieda: well, was fun for jesa, but not so much now?
[12:19] kashieda: yeah
[12:21] Gregonzola: Well, the male in question took up with another lady. But it's okay, because Jesa may have a way to win him back in time. And hence once again corral her unicorns.
[12:22] kashieda: sneaky
[12:23] kashieda: what should i do now?
[12:23] kashieda: dread is dead
[12:23] kashieda: 97 adventures to spend
[12:26] Gregonzola: Practice making unicorns.
[12:26] kashieda: i always do that
[12:32] Gregonzola: Good man.
[12:37] kashieda: should i "old man" ship adventure?
[12:38] Everybody: Do you ever have those moments where you jump up from your chair and assume the victorious 'Statue of Liberty' pose?
[12:38] Everybody: Because, FUCK YES! FROM SEA TO SHINING ME!
[12:38] kashieda: no, not really
[12:39] kashieda: well, if our dread is goind to stay boring, i'll go whore out a bit
[12:39] kashieda: see ya
[12:41] jesabele: UNICORNS
[12:42] Gregonzola: WHORING!
[12:47] Everybody: WHORNICORNS. -hic-
[12:47] Everybody: Wait, this sounds like an event that krak would attend: "Whornicon 9!" 

Super Lethargic

[11:59] jesabele: I am super lethargic
[12:02] Gregonzola: That's like normal lethargic, but with a cape.
[12:07] kashieda: nah, it doesn't have the energy to get a cape
[12:07] kashieda: it was going to, but meh

The King is Dead, Long Live the King

[11:24] Tom Sawyer: Elvis is UNDEAD, and nothing scares me more than a fat decomposing washed up singer chasing me
[11:24] Tom Sawyer: cept maybe an undead clown

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Marriage Equality

[11:38] jesabele: I don't want to use it, I just want a black box
[11:41] Big Daddy Grimm: and that right there is the arguement that won us the right for women to marry women

That's Clan

[12:44] miss havisham: what did i miss
[12:44] miss havisham: scrolling, looks like crimbo and lesbians, so, about what I'd expect

Marriage Equality

[11:38] jesabele: I don't want to use it, I just want a black box
[11:41] Big Daddy Grimm: and that right there is the argument that won us the right for women to marry women

Let's go golfing

[08:31] miss havisham: so. yesterday a homeless man threw his cup of change at me.
[08:31] miss havisham: today i got into work and had a voicemail urging me to bring in my golf cart to be serviced.
[08:31] miss havisham: i do not own a golf cart.

Quantum Jumpme

[07:31] Gregonzola: The butts of the traveling pants.
[07:38] Everybody: If they were traveling panties, it would be much more interesting.
[07:38] Everybody: TIME-TRAVELING PANTIES.
[07:41] Gregonzola: I think that's a good idea for a novel.
[07:42] Gregonzola: Or at least a really dirty fanfic involving a female doctor getting into the Quantum Leap machine.
[07:42] Gregonzola: Who am I kidding? That shit's been written by someone.
[07:56] Everybody: The Quantum Jumpme Machine.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Hope for the boneless

[08:23] Everybody: Schlovia won't give me her mom's phone number, even though her mom lives right around the corner. How rude!
[08:25] RAMONE logged on.
[08:25] RAMONE: ./|\V//^\v/.l|./|\V/ /^\v/.l|./|\V//^\v/ .l|./|\V//^\v/.l|./ |\V//^\v/.l|./|\V// ^\v/.l|./|\V//^\v/ .l|./|\V//^\v/.l|./ |\V//^\v/.l|./|\V// ^\v/.l|./|\V//^\v/ .l|./|\V//^\v/.l|./ |\V//^\v/.l|./|\V// ^\v/.l|./|\
[08:25] Everybody: Wtf, Ram-one? It's like being spammed with alphabetic vaginas.
[08:25] RAMONE: _-.L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_- .L|_l_-.L|_l_-.L
[08:26] RAMONE: You would be a blast to watch interpreting the Rorschach test
[08:26] Everybody: Rorscheisse test.
[08:26] RAMONE: "MOTH VAGINA!" "TWO FACES AND A VAGINA!"
[08:26] RAMONE: REFLECTION OF A VAGINA!
[08:27] miss havisham: schlovia's mom's vagina!
[08:27] miss havisham: just go knock on doors, pooch
[08:27] Everybody: "Ding-dong, ding dong calling."
[08:27] RAMONE: wtf is a schlovia y/n
[08:27] RAMONE: haha
[08:28] miss havisham: idk, i'm taking pooch's word that it's a thing
[08:28] Everybody: Not taking the baaaaait.
[08:28] miss havisham: oh lee, i had a beer with lassaebola this weekend. She said "ugh, lee" but was smiling while she said it
[08:28] Everybody: Did you bend her over?
[08:29] RAMONE: She's funny
[08:29] RAMONE: Me? Yes.
[08:29] Everybody: She walks funny. After Havi bends her over.
[08:29] RAMONE: Oh you meant havi
[08:30] RAMONE: No, I didn't bend havi over
[08:30] RAMONE: oh you meant lassa
[08:30] RAMONE: yes
[08:30] RAMONE: full circle
[08:31] Everybody: + jerk.
[08:31] miss havisham: Yes we just bent each other over and then were like "huh, what now?"
[08:31] miss havisham: cause, no penises.
[08:31] Everybody: Pick up the phone.. call Ramone!
[08:31] miss havisham: so we stood back up and finished our beers
[08:31] Everybody sings a little jingle.
[08:31] RAMONE: [link] http:// www.youtube.com/ watch?v=95GD87CRve0
[08:31] Everybody: "You and your lady got no bone. Pick up your phone and -call Ramone-!"

Friday, January 3, 2014

Good Math

[12:06] miss havisham: "When you X, I felt Y.  In the future, please consider Z instead."
[12:09] Everybody: Where X = {me up} and Y={turned on} and Z={just bending me over}.

Saddle Up

[11:31] miss havisham: so pooch is going pantsless mountain man, that's what i heard
[11:32] Everybody: I'm not mounting any men.
[11:33] Shoo86: lol
[11:34] miss havisham: well, there goes that dream

Butts

[11:11] miss havisham: shoo <3s butt drugs
[11:12] Gregonzola: Naturally. Hence the fascination with butts.
[11:27] Everybody: Jesus. My workgroup is going to be the guinea pigs for desktop video conferencing in-house.
[11:28] Gregonzola: Hawt.
[11:28] Gregonzola: Remember, just because there's a camera doesn't mean you have to finish with a money shot one someone's face. -hic-
[11:28] Everybody: Redonkulous. Now I'll have to wear clothes and shave EVEN IF I AM NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR WEEKS.
[11:28] Gregonzola: That's corporate fascism for you.
[11:29] Shoo86: did someone say butts?