Doin' it right is a matter of perspective

[08:09] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i forget how to play
[08:09] Everybody logged on.
[08:09] Everybody: Pooch 'em doggie style.
[08:10] Everybody: Does sublime stew lead in to a better food?!
[08:10] Everybody: Is it a reasonable set up for the baked potato? -hic-
[08:12] Gregonzola: Because Potato.
[08:12] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: not really. the baked potato is made from 4 raw ingredients
[08:12] Gregonzola: Don't play, Mantz. Nurse the hangover.
[08:12] Gregonzola: Or ask a nurse to nurse the hangover.
[08:13] Everybody: Or hang it over a nurse and ask her to nurse.
[08:13] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: yeah i just got the whole "why aren't you in here cuddling?" guilt trip
[08:13] Everybody: "Because I feel like shit."
[08:13] Gregonzola: Screw KoL. Go cuddle.
[08:13] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: lay off me, bitch, i got turns to run
[08:13] Gregonzola: Hm. I see we have different priorities. =)
[08:13] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: haha
[08:14] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: well, i already had sex today. game over
[08:14] Piter: I never cuddle after sex.
[08:14] Gregonzola: There's no theoretical limit on the number of times you can do that in a day. Only soreness and inability to walk can slow you down.
[08:14] Gregonzola facepalms
[08:14] Gregonzola: I always cuddle after.
[08:15] Gregonzola: It often leads to more sex.
[08:15] PizzaDaHutt logged on.
[08:15] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i get up and play turns
[08:15] Everybody: Drink her unconscious afterward.
[08:15] Gregonzola: Haha, Pooch.
[08:15] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: because leaderboard
[08:15] Everybody: or more, drink her on her way to unconsciousness in the act.
[08:15] Gregonzola: Or before!
[08:15] Piter: Not me and the galfriend. She's basically comatose after we're finished.    

It's Leeverb in Cat Form

How to Make a Limoncello

[15:39] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: my limoncello recipe:
[15:39] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: skin 14 lemons, being careful to just get the zest and not the pith
[15:40] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: muddle the skins with finely powdered raw sugar. about 4 ounces will do
[15:41] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: juice the lemons and add an equal amount of raw sugar to the juice. (roughly 27-32 ounces)
[15:41] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: after the the skins have sat for 2 hours or so, add the sweetened juice, stir, then leave refrigerated over night
[15:42] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the resulting cordial can be fine strained to remove all the skins.
[15:42] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: add 1 liter of grappa the refrigerate for 24 hours
[15:43] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: fine strain through a coffee filter and it's ready to serve
[15:44] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: you don't need to use grappa. any overproof (100+) nuetral grain spirit will do.
[15:45] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: I actually use an overproof smirnoff
[15:45] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: it's cheap and won't interfere with anything the citrus is doing -hic-
[15:46] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: sorry to spam recipes    

Also, Mantz is typing that drunk.  That's how impressive a mixologist he is.

Looking for a Birthday Gift for Mantz?

[10:19] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i want a mini horse!
[10:20] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: [link] http://i.imgur.com/Px99MHF.gif


[10:20] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: [link] http://www.porterfieldfarm.com/horses/mares
[10:20] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: buy me one of those
[10:21] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i am going to get lunch downtown and there better be a mini horse in my apartment when i get back
[10:21] PizzaDaHutt: mantz
[10:21] PizzaDaHutt: i was literally just looking at the gif when you linked it in chat
[10:22] PizzaDaHutt: happy birthday too
[10:22] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: haha thanks
[10:22] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: how fucking awesome is that thing
[10:23] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i'm getting one for rigby  

That's talent

[09:24] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon logged on.
[09:25] Gregonzola: Incoming tiny Grimmy.
[09:25] Gregonzola: We were just discussing how lovely flowers are.
[09:25] Gregonzola: We like flowers.
[09:25] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: greg knows when im coming?
[09:26] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: was i fapping THAT loud?
[09:26] Gregonzola: Yes.
[09:26] Gregonzola: RAGEFAPPING! -hic-
[09:29] MISS HAVISHAM: ragefapping doesn't clean my kitchen floor
[09:29] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: it does. my fapping is part baking soda
[09:30] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: baking soda is a great cleaning agent
[09:30] Gregonzola: Now that's effective multitasking.    

No, Vok HU!

[08:21] Mayting: I wish I could go butt I think Dick Knott
[08:22] Gregonzola: May, you are a mistress of dirty innuendo.
[08:22] Gregonzola: And also, butt.
[08:22] Mayting: Greg, [link] http:// www.linkedin.com/ pub/dick-knott/7/ 7b4/3b8
[08:23] Gregonzola: Yes, I feel bad for him. It must hurt.
[08:23] Mayting: He looks happy enough
[08:23] Gregonzola: You learn to live with it.
[08:24] Gregonzola: Kind of like the heartbreak of psoriasis.
[08:24] Mayting: I have a friend who's name is Vok Hu
[08:25] Mayting: pronounced Fuk Hue
[08:25] Mayting: we go to the same temple He LOVES his name here now
[08:25] Gregonzola: That is awesome and now I want to have his name.
[08:26] Mayting: "What's your name?" "fuck you"
[08:26] Gregonzola: "No, really. That's my name."

Ugly Sweater Party

[12:43] jesabele: Thom had sex with a lesbian that we call spider tits
[12:43] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: NOT THE SPIDER TITS STORY
[12:43] Piter: No Thom, the spider tits story
[12:43] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So gross.
[12:43] jesabele: and the ugly sweaty party was the fattest, most awkward threesome
[12:43] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: The grossest of all possible grossness.
[12:43] Piter: especially as the term "spider tits" is intriguing as hell.
[12:44] Gregonzola: I believe this needs to be story time.
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Jesa, you cunt.
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I HATE YOU
[12:44] Piter sits down for story time.
[12:44] jesabele: go have some not awful sexual experiences!
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I am going to literally punch you in the mouth.
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I WISH I COULD
[12:45] sWINgSet: thom had a threesome?
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: No.
[12:45] jesabele: hahahaha
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: It was not that.
[12:45] sWINgSet: or was there just a threesome's worth of flesh ?
[12:45] Carling: thom had sex with a spider?
[12:45] Gregonzola: A 5-some, actually. 4 fingers and a thumb.
[12:45] Carling: ohh i get it
[12:45] Carling: like the fat rolls made it look like extra boobies?
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: The girl wanted to bang myself and my incredibly large roommate.
[12:45] sWINgSet: thom is a supprting character on Ugly Sweaty
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I actually just got a handjob while she blew my roommate and I watched Adventure Time.
[12:46] jesabele: the girl that likes to beer bong 4 lokos
[12:46] Piter: no wonder. so much sugar in that shit.
[12:46] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And she stood up, grabbed a condom and said "So which one of you is going to fuck me first?"
[12:46] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And I went to the living room and Matt went to the bathroom to throw up.
[12:46] sWINgSet: oh god
[12:46] Carling: wait
[12:46] jesabele: Carly is still hung up on spider tits
[12:47] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So we narrowly avoided the world's fattest threesome.
[12:47] Carling: so a hand job
[12:47] Carling: and a blow job are not throw up worthy
[12:47] Carling: but the next step crossed the line?
[12:47] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Yes.
[12:47] sWINgSet: they could be if she in some stage of undress
[12:47] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Because I was watching Adventure Time and not looking at her.
[12:47] sWINgSet: smart man
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: When she sttod up I appreciated the gravity of the situation.
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And the gravity was not kind.
[12:48] sWINgSet: is she called spider tits because it looks like she has 8 of them?
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Spider Tits has a giant spiderweb tattoo spanning her giant breasts.
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Actually, not a bad rack.
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Kind of a bad everything else, though.
[12:50] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And now I hate jesa more than anything because I do not like those stories.
[12:50] Carling: brb goobers
[12:50] Carling: i need to wash my brain
[12:50] Carling: of that image

Books vs Movies

[12:16] Ramone: War of the Worlds is one of my favorite books
[12:17] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the movie was better
[12:17] Ramone: The Invisible Man is good too, but the style is way different
[12:17] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: tom cruise makes everything better
[12:17] Everybody: The album from the 70s was better.
[12:17] Ramone: I hope you mean the 1950s movie
[12:17] Ramone: RAGE
[12:17] Gregonzola: I was about to make a mocking Tom Cruise comment. Too late.
[12:18] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i'm totally kidding. i don't read

Greg the Time Traveler

[12:10] Gregonzola: Or was that a bust?
[12:11] Ramone: Greg's awesome. He talks like it's 1914
[12:11] Ramone: "Shall we attend the box-social?"
[12:11] Gregonzola: I'm actually from 1914. We discovered time travel and I liked it better here.
[12:11] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: "can i interest you in a dubonnet and a pall mall?"
[12:11] Gregonzola: Absolutely, old boy.
[12:12] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: bully!
[12:12] Ramone: "Allow me to doff my cloak and facilitate your passing over this mud-puddle, my lady"

Take that to PMs

[16:14] Mayting: I was SUPREMELY happy to see this (posted 1 week ago) [link] http:// www.youtube.com/ watch?v=kdaMI2wnVBg
[16:14] Gregonzola: No homemade sex videos in open chat. Please PM it to Shoo.
[16:15] Gregonzola: Woah. May, you're flexible.
[16:15] Mayting: Mine are profess.....*COUGH*. ...ahem....nvm  

Seriously, May.  This is not what most of us call porn.  Except us geeks.  This is geek porn for sure.

Wicked Nasty

[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i just had the worst indian food ever
[09:33] MISS HAVISHAM: what was so bad about it?
[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i was craving indian and there's this place around the corner
[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the tikka masala tastes like campbell's tomato soup
[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i'm not exaggerating
[09:34] MISS HAVISHAM: ...wow.
[09:34] Piter: EW -hic-
[09:34] MISS HAVISHAM: that's awful.
[09:34] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the rice is not cooked properly, either
[09:34] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: it looks like if uncle bens made basmati
[09:34] Piter: Uncle Benghali    

Darlin' it's better down where it's wetter

[12:39] Carling: turns out that underwater stuff is new
[12:43] Gregonzola: I wonder if they have usage statistics and realize the sea was just not very popular the way things were arranged.
[12:47] Everybody: I think they know it because we all bitched about it.
[12:49] Everybody: "The Sea" is basically analogous to "trying to talk your newly-wed wife into buttsex".
[12:50] Everybody: "Hey, look at all this high-level stuff we can do." "Why would I wanna do that? I like the low level content, over and over again!"
[12:50] Everybody: "But look at all these toys!" "They're pretty useless outside of buttsex, right?"
[12:51] Everybody: "I know, but doesn't it look fun?" "It looks like it has pressure issues, it takes a lot of time to prepare for, and the rewards aren't really applicable elsewhere in life."
[12:51] Everybody: "But I spent all this time researching, preparing, and drawing up fantasies."
[12:51] Everybody: "Maybe you should've asked me if I was interested first."
[12:52] Everybody: "Well, aren't you a completionist?" "Fine, I'll do it once, just to check it off. Don't expect me to come back to it."
[12:52] Everybody: "Wasn't that awesome?" "It was just about as painful and unrewarding as I expected. At least the salt water is hiding my tears."
[12:53] Everybody: I think they should replace the 'falling down drunk' zone with access to the ocean. -hic-

Oddly Specific

[08:12] MISS HAVISHAM: i don't want to be here. :(
[08:12] MISS HAVISHAM: i mean here, at work. i do want to be here, in the kingdom.
[08:16] MISS HAVISHAM: hey... my tattoo didn't upgrade?
[08:16] MISS HAVISHAM: oh. i'm just dumb.
[08:17] Big Daddy Grimm: stop that
[08:17] MISS HAVISHAM: what, talking to myself?
[08:17] Big Daddy Grimm: self degridation commentary is MY thing
[08:17] Piter: autodeprecation is the right of all -hic-
[08:17] Big Daddy Grimm: find your own niche. now get back on your pedestal and let me go back to trying to Woo you away from Shoo
[08:18] MISS HAVISHAM: grimmy, perhaps you should set a more realistic goal
[08:18] Big Daddy Grimm: they wouldnt be GOALS if they were realistic!
[08:18] Gregonzola: She's not after Shoo. She's after a homoerotic sex tape of Shoo and Mantz together.
[08:19] Piter: what
[08:19] MISS HAVISHAM: I'd prefer a front row seat and live action
[08:19] Piter: just
[08:19] Piter: what -hic-
[08:19] MISS HAVISHAM: but a tape would be okay.
[08:19] Big Daddy Grimm: so in order to steal her away from Shoo, I gotta steal Mantz away from Shoo first?
[08:19] Gregonzola: Yes.
[08:19] Piter: what
[08:20] Piter: what is this
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: yes but if you do i'll be angry forever
[08:20] Gregonzola: And then you won't actually get her, but you'll only get her drooling while watching.
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: so it'd be self-defeating.
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: watching... what?
[08:20] Big Daddy Grimm: if i get shoo to DIRECT the video...he would still be PART of the video....
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: if he steals mantz from shoo, what's left to watch?
[08:20] Big Daddy Grimm: its so Grimmy that it just might work!!!!
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: no, man. The Shoohorn needs a starring role.
[08:21] Gregonzola: The Shoohorn, Mantz and Grimmy.
[08:21] Gregonzola: Problem solved.
[08:21] MISS HAVISHAM: Not interested.
[08:21] Gregonzola: And she's still only going to watch, not join in.
[08:21] MISS HAVISHAM: I have a very specific vision.
[08:21] Gregonzola: Oh, no!
[08:21] Gregonzola: Grimmy's a dealbreaker.
[08:21] Gregonzola: Now you've shattered his self-confidence.
[08:22] Big Daddy Grimm: wow...i think it have had my fill of rejection juice...
[08:22] Piter: my eyes
[08:22] Big Daddy Grimm: i hereby withdraw
[08:22] Piter: my brain
[08:22] Gregonzola: Grimmy, go get anonymous head off of craigslist. You'll be fine.
[08:22] Carling logged on.
[08:22] MISS HAVISHAM: lol
[08:22] Big Daddy Grimm: way ahead of you
[08:22] MISS HAVISHAM: gross!
[08:22] Piter: ohgod -hic-
[08:22] Piter: why
[08:22] MISS HAVISHAM: you see, this is why my vision is very limited
[08:23] Big Daddy Grimm: whats the T stand for anyway?
[08:23] Carling: hey gang
[08:23] Piter: stop in the name of me
[08:23] MISS HAVISHAM: carlo, thanks for rescuing us
[08:23] Carling: ?
[08:23] MISS HAVISHAM: don't ask, just change the subject.    

I don't think that's really Havi

MISS HAVISHAM: OHAI GREG, HAVE YOU SEEN MY ID

MISS HAVISHAM: NEVERMIND. I FOUND IT. I HAVE TO GO NOW. MANTZ IS MAKING ME WORK OUT AND THEN HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS. IT'S GONNA BE A LONG DAY.

MISS HAVISHAM logged off.

Gregonzola: Somebody clearly stole your login. You don't normally yell.

HAM SALAD SANDWICH: you know how i roll

HAM SALAD SANDWICH: we were having a capslock orgy

If you're clappy and you know it

[07:51] Big Daddy Grimm: if you are happy and you know it, you clap your hands. However, if you have the clap, you are not happy, and you KNOW it!

This one's for Yilf

The puppy compels you to sleep.

Obey the cute puppy.

Pitching Tents

[15:58] screechpowers: most delayed response ever
[15:58] screechpowers: lol
[16:00] Gregonzola: Oh, no. I've done some very delayed responses.
[16:04] Shoo86: wut
[16:05] Gregonzola: Like Shoo. He has delayed responses.
[16:06] Shoo86: lol
[16:06] Shoo86: sexually speaking
[16:08] Gregonzola: Which makes porn very awkward for Shoo.
[16:08] Gregonzola: He watches some, then 3 hours later at dinner he's got the tent up and he's trying to make conversation.
[16:08] Gregonzola: "What? This? Just a delayed response."
[16:28] Shoo86: hahahah
[16:28] Shoo86: nice    

Jesa Goes Retro

[12:21] Gregonzola: I heard Jesa's wearing parachute pants.
[12:22] Gregonzola: So very retro.
[12:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: she's the mc hammer of our generation
[12:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: well, at least hers
[12:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: i guess mc hammer is the mc hammer of OUR generation
[12:24] Gregonzola: That's a very good point.
[12:24] Gregonzola: Is she still in diapers?
[12:24] jesabele logged on.
[12:24] jesabele: damn browser
[12:24] Gregonzola: Oh, she'd dropped off. What's the point of teasing Jesa when she's not really here?
[12:24] hAm Salad Sandwich: whoo oh oh oh oh STOP
[12:24] hAm Salad Sandwich: jesa time    

We're Perverts

[14:05] miss havisham: i am le tired and it's only 4. and i just got up an hour ago.
[14:05] miss havisham: vacation is exhausting.
[14:06] Gregonzola: Someone should chastise you with spanking right now. Where's Pooch when you need him?
[14:06] miss havisham: not here, that's for sure
[14:07] miss havisham: despite his threats
[14:07] Gregonzola: He may be all talk, no spank.
[14:07] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: You guys and your perversions.
[14:07] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: It saddens me to say that I am the moral compass of this clan.
[14:08] Gregonzola: Could be worse. At least no one here would fuck a ham sandwich... oh, wait.
[14:08] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: stfu
[14:09] Gregonzola: Heh.
[14:13] miss havisham: +1 to greg
[14:13] miss havisham: i'd fuck a ham sala... wait
[14:13] miss havisham: inappropriate, havi!
[14:13] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: I hate all of you.
[14:14] fantabulous: I find that hard to believe.
[14:14] miss havisham: You like me, Thom. I have vague drunken memories of us getting along very well
[14:14] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Nope.
[14:15] miss havisham: Hey, I low-carbed Imo's just for you. and watched everyone else eat garlic cheese bread.
[14:15] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: I told you NOT to low-carb Imo's.
[14:16] miss havisham: also thom, i didn't say i was obedient, just that i was thinking about you
[14:16] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: I only think about how much I hate all of you.
[14:16] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: LIKE, a bunch.
[14:16] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: ANGRY FACES
[14:17] miss havisham: happy faces, Ike
[14:20] fantabulous: Do you hate us so much that you're compelled to ram your erect penis in and out of a ham sandwich?
[14:20] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Shut up, Fanta.
[14:21] miss havisham: ragesandwichfuck
[14:23] Gregonzola: Aw, Thom. We love you. Not as much as you love a ham sandwich, but we love you.
[14:23] miss havisham: not in the same way, at least.
[14:24] miss havisham: But that'd be physically impossible, since not all of us are hung like tuna cans.    

Grammar

[11:51] sWINgSet: i was just texting with a friend that can't use your and you're properly and I wondered something
[11:51] sWINgSet: do they look at me using them properly and think "haha your an idiot!"

Welcome to Chat

[09:17] Yilfielle: give me advice
[09:17] Yilfielle: about mixing drinks
[09:17] Yilfielle: :I
[09:17] Piter: sweet tea vodka and lemonade
[09:17] Piter: MAKE IT
[09:17] Piter: YOU'LL LOVE IT
[09:19] Yilfielle: i like sweet things BU
[09:19] Piter: well, that's mighty sweet
[09:19] Piter: and doesn't taste like alcohol
[09:19] Piter: ergo, YOU'LL LOVE IT
[09:20] Piter: firefly is the best sweet tea vodka (Wadmalaw Island SC REPRESENT)
[09:20] Piter: but burnett's is a passable alternative, and more affordable
[09:21] Piter: I'd normally never say this about burnett's because their regular vodka tastes like furniture
[09:21] Yilfielle: it...
[09:21] Yilfielle: tastes like
[09:21] Yilfielle: furniture?
[09:21] Yilfielle: I WANT IT
[09:21] Piter: NO -hic-
[09:21] Piter: YOU DON'T
[09:21] Piter: it's horrid. it tastes like furniture vodka
[09:21] Yilfielle: furniture
[09:21] Yilfielle: it tastes like
[09:21] Yilfielle: furniture
[09:21] Yilfielle: oh god
[09:21] Yilfielle: i want it so bad
[09:21] Yilfielle: yesssssssssssss
[09:21] Piter: like tables and chairs
[09:22] Piter: and ottomans
[09:22] Yilfielle: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
[09:22] Yilfielle: HILARIOUSSSSSSSSSSSS
[09:22] Piter: and it burns like the fire of about 60 matches
[09:23] miss havisham logged on.
[09:24] Gregonzola: It's only really good if you can light your urine on fire after you process it.
[09:24] miss havisham: Hi Greg
[09:24] miss havisham: Um. I take that back  

I really am

[13:28] Gregonzola: [link] http:// i1337.photobucket.com/albums/o674/Gregonzola/ 20130307_130416_zpse 1a0ed82.jpg
[13:28] Gregonzola: It's my excuse for my typos.
[13:28] Gregonzola: Even though I make them even without the sprained wrist.
[13:29] miss havisham: my new excluse: "I'm wearing Greg's wrist brace. He's in the shower."
[13:29] miss havisham: DAMMIT
[13:29] miss havisham: fuck, i even proofread that one.
[13:29] Gregonzola: That's a great excuse, but what am I doing in your shower?
[13:29] FearTheFrail: meeow.
[13:29] miss havisham: Cleaning it, I hope. someone needs to. -hic-
[13:29] miss havisham: it is pretty evident it's not gonna be me this week.
[13:29] Gregonzola: I'm good at that.    

Take it to PMs

[13:13] FearTheFrail thhhpthhhp
[13:14] Gregonzola: Fear, no cybering in open chat.
[13:14] miss havisham: at least let us know who your partner is before you take it to PMs, ftf
[13:14] FearTheFrail: ...oh, shit. >_>
[13:15] hAm Salad Sandwich: yeah, that's... disturbing
[13:15] FearTheFrail: I was told I could only cyber in parseltongue, my bad.    

Mantz's comment was actually on an unrelated conversation (I think) but is hilarious if left in.

The Live ones are a Lot of Fun

[13:04] Everybody: If she's really a puppy, I'll have to adopt her. :(
[13:04] miss havisham: you should adopt her anyway. someone has to like her if she's going to stay.
[13:04] Everybody: You don't have to LIKE puppies. You only have to love them.
[13:05] miss havisham: oh, like toddlers. -hic-
[13:05] miss havisham: or my mom.
[13:05] Ramone: are we talking about yilf again y/n    

Cockware

[12:08] Gregonzola: And yes, Syd's absolutely beautiful. If I weren't married and old enough to be her father I'd totally hit on her.
[12:09] Everybody: Well, I'm not married.
[12:09] Gregonzola: Heh, Pooch.
[12:09] Everybody: *stunt cock*
[12:09] SYdNEY REbIK: Nah pucc, wouldn't wanna make Havi jealous
[12:09] hAm Salad Sandwich: haha
[12:10] Gregonzola: Smart woman. Nobody needs a cat fight.
[12:11] Everybody: Oh, puh-leez.
[12:11] Everybody: She didn't put a ring on it.
[12:11] Gregonzola: Your cock?
[12:11] SYdNEY REbIK: I don't need her showing up on my doorstep brandishing a large frying pan
[12:11] SYdNEY REbIK: ha
[12:11] Everybody: She doesn't hit it with gingers anyway.
[12:11] hAm Salad Sandwich: i'd be delighted if syd showed up at my door carrying cookware
[12:11] Gregonzola: *cockware
[12:11] Gregonzola: Pooch, cock rings are just toys, not symbols of commitment.
[12:11] hAm Salad Sandwich: best day ever
[12:12] Everybody: No, if I let someone strangle my schlong, that's a commitment.
[12:12] SYdNEY REbIK: If that ever happens, please save me. Cuz chances are, i got tricked into a pyramid scheme
[12:12] Gregonzola: Touché, Pooch.
[12:13] SYdNEY REbIK: Douché
[12:13] Everybody: Douche' canoe'?
[12:14] hAm Salad Sandwich: haha

Chicken of the Sea

[11:43] Gregonzola: Thom can't have bagels. Remember what he does with sandwiches? Yeah, bagels are shaped perfectly for it.
[11:44] jesabele: nah, it is too tiny for him to feel anything with the bagel
[11:44] Gregonzola: Oh, ouch.
[11:45] miss havisham: ouch!
[11:45] Gregonzola: And also, Jesa, how do you know about Thom's penis?
[11:45] jesabele: I know people
[11:45] Gregonzola: A friend told you about it, huh?
[11:45] miss havisham: how big is my penis, jesa?
[11:46] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: My penis is not tiny.
[11:46] miss havisham: thom is hung like a can of tuna fish
[11:46] miss havisham: this has been established    

Being Jesa

[11:32] jesabele: ohi
[11:33] hAm Salad Sandwich: hey guys look i'm jesa
[11:33] hAm Salad Sandwich: ohi
[11:33] Piter: jesa you're a person
[11:33] hAm Salad Sandwich: spot on impressions are kinda my thing
[11:33] Gregonzola: You nailed it.    

Goat Videos

These don't have anything to do with clan conversations.  I'm just mentally 9 years old and they make me laugh.

How about some Bon Jovi?


Too hard for you?  Here's some Taylor Swift:


I know, totally trendy.  A classic maybe?  Whitney Houston:

It was on fire when I lay down on it

[10:22] Piter: fuck I just lit myself on fire
[10:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: haha -hic-
[10:25] miss havisham: lol piter. best thing to come back to
    

Timing is everything

Gregonzola: I missed Lee's check-in. Dang.

Shoo86: heh

Shoo86: it was lightning fast

Everybody: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

Lee just came by to say hi

Ramone: skunkbutt dicknose

Or that.

That really looks good

hAm Salad Sandwich: i'm now past the 24 hour mark of having eaten so everything sounds amazing

hAm Salad Sandwich: my hands look delicious right now

hAm Salad Sandwich: rigby looks like a ribeye

hAm Salad Sandwich: rigbeye

fantabulous: I'm not fond of cole slaw.

Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Eat something, Mantz.

Gregonzola: Mantz, why are you fasting?

hAm Salad Sandwich: you should hear what it said about you, fanta

Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Fanta, you're a monster.

Gregonzola: Blood tests, poverty, or new found faith? -hic-

hAm Salad Sandwich: i'm not fasting on purpose

hAm Salad Sandwich: i just forgot to eat last night and now i'm profastinating

If you'll be my bodyguard

hAm Salad Sandwich: my neighbor just stopped by and borrowed a cup of sugar

hAm Salad Sandwich: what is this 1950?

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: They were casing the joint!

hAm Salad Sandwich: I woke up in the middle of a cold war cliche

hAm Salad Sandwich: she's kinda cute

hAm Salad Sandwich: my building is full of cute girls, actually

hAm Salad Sandwich: i can't wait for the summertime when the pool is open

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I'm moving in, Matnz.

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: You need a fat bearded sidekick

hAm Salad Sandwich: I'll be like thom at an all you can eat buffet

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: If sitcoms ever taught me anything, it's that.

hAm Salad Sandwich: haha thom you would be an amazing sidekick

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Two plates and you feel ashamed?

hAm Salad Sandwich: pretty much

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So you just hit the soft serve repeatedly?

hAm Salad Sandwich: "sir! you can't take the steam trays!"

hAm Salad Sandwich: haha soft serve

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Leaving with pockets full of shrimp.

Sadlarious and Shidiotic

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So, remember my shitty phone survey job?

Piter: sure

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: They apparently never got the message that I quit oh so many months ago. -hic-

Gregonzola: They didn't fire your ass for not showing up?

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: They called me today and asked if I still wanted to work there, and what hours I wanted.

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Haha. Nope.

hAm Salad Sandwich: my old job was paying for my health insurance for 6 months after i quit. dumbasses

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I haven't been there for fucking like, four months!

Gregonzola: They must really, really need phone lackeys, Thom. And Mantz, that's awesome.

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And I told them to give me every available shift.

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Because I fucking need money.

Gregonzola: Well, heck. Go get you some dough!

hAm Salad Sandwich: tell them you won't come back until they pay you for those 4 months that you dutifully showed up and never recieved a paycheck

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I just realized

Gregonzola: haha.

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: This is technically the longest I have ever held a job.

hAm Salad Sandwich: haha thom that's sadlarious

Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: 9 months! Woo!

hAm Salad Sandwich: oh, i learned a new word today. shidiotic

miss havisham: sadlarious. love it.