Friday, March 22, 2013

Doin' it right is a matter of perspective

[08:09] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i forget how to play
[08:09] Everybody logged on.
[08:09] Everybody: Pooch 'em doggie style.
[08:10] Everybody: Does sublime stew lead in to a better food?!
[08:10] Everybody: Is it a reasonable set up for the baked potato? -hic-
[08:12] Gregonzola: Because Potato.
[08:12] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: not really. the baked potato is made from 4 raw ingredients
[08:12] Gregonzola: Don't play, Mantz. Nurse the hangover.
[08:12] Gregonzola: Or ask a nurse to nurse the hangover.
[08:13] Everybody: Or hang it over a nurse and ask her to nurse.
[08:13] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: yeah i just got the whole "why aren't you in here cuddling?" guilt trip
[08:13] Everybody: "Because I feel like shit."
[08:13] Gregonzola: Screw KoL. Go cuddle.
[08:13] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: lay off me, bitch, i got turns to run
[08:13] Gregonzola: Hm. I see we have different priorities. =)
[08:13] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: haha
[08:14] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: well, i already had sex today. game over
[08:14] Piter: I never cuddle after sex.
[08:14] Gregonzola: There's no theoretical limit on the number of times you can do that in a day. Only soreness and inability to walk can slow you down.
[08:14] Gregonzola facepalms
[08:14] Gregonzola: I always cuddle after.
[08:15] Gregonzola: It often leads to more sex.
[08:15] PizzaDaHutt logged on.
[08:15] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i get up and play turns
[08:15] Everybody: Drink her unconscious afterward.
[08:15] Gregonzola: Haha, Pooch.
[08:15] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: because leaderboard
[08:15] Everybody: or more, drink her on her way to unconsciousness in the act.
[08:15] Gregonzola: Or before!
[08:15] Piter: Not me and the galfriend. She's basically comatose after we're finished.    

It's Leeverb in Cat Form

 photo cat_zpse7512da6.png

Thursday, March 21, 2013

How to Make a Limoncello

[15:39] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: my limoncello recipe:
[15:39] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: skin 14 lemons, being careful to just get the zest and not the pith
[15:40] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: muddle the skins with finely powdered raw sugar. about 4 ounces will do
[15:41] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: juice the lemons and add an equal amount of raw sugar to the juice. (roughly 27-32 ounces)
[15:41] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: after the the skins have sat for 2 hours or so, add the sweetened juice, stir, then leave refrigerated over night
[15:42] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the resulting cordial can be fine strained to remove all the skins.
[15:42] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: add 1 liter of grappa the refrigerate for 24 hours
[15:43] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: fine strain through a coffee filter and it's ready to serve
[15:44] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: you don't need to use grappa. any overproof (100+) nuetral grain spirit will do.
[15:45] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: I actually use an overproof smirnoff
[15:45] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: it's cheap and won't interfere with anything the citrus is doing -hic-
[15:46] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: sorry to spam recipes    

Also, Mantz is typing that drunk.  That's how impressive a mixologist he is.

Looking for a Birthday Gift for Mantz?

[10:19] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i want a mini horse!
[10:20] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: [link] http://i.imgur.com/Px99MHF.gif

 photo Horse_zps06941533.gif

[10:20] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: [link] http://www.porterfieldfarm.com/horses/mares
[10:20] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: buy me one of those
[10:21] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i am going to get lunch downtown and there better be a mini horse in my apartment when i get back
[10:21] PizzaDaHutt: mantz
[10:21] PizzaDaHutt: i was literally just looking at the gif when you linked it in chat
[10:22] PizzaDaHutt: happy birthday too
[10:22] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: haha thanks
[10:22] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: how fucking awesome is that thing
[10:23] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i'm getting one for rigby  

That's talent

[09:24] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon logged on.
[09:25] Gregonzola: Incoming tiny Grimmy.
[09:25] Gregonzola: We were just discussing how lovely flowers are.
[09:25] Gregonzola: We like flowers.
[09:25] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: greg knows when im coming?
[09:26] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: was i fapping THAT loud?
[09:26] Gregonzola: Yes.
[09:26] Gregonzola: RAGEFAPPING! -hic-
[09:29] MISS HAVISHAM: ragefapping doesn't clean my kitchen floor
[09:29] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: it does. my fapping is part baking soda
[09:30] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: baking soda is a great cleaning agent
[09:30] Gregonzola: Now that's effective multitasking.    

No, Vok HU!

[08:21] Mayting: I wish I could go butt I think Dick Knott
[08:22] Gregonzola: May, you are a mistress of dirty innuendo.
[08:22] Gregonzola: And also, butt.
[08:22] Mayting: Greg, [link] http:// www.linkedin.com/ pub/dick-knott/7/ 7b4/3b8
[08:23] Gregonzola: Yes, I feel bad for him. It must hurt.
[08:23] Mayting: He looks happy enough
[08:23] Gregonzola: You learn to live with it.
[08:24] Gregonzola: Kind of like the heartbreak of psoriasis.
[08:24] Mayting: I have a friend who's name is Vok Hu
[08:25] Mayting: pronounced Fuk Hue
[08:25] Mayting: we go to the same temple He LOVES his name here now
[08:25] Gregonzola: That is awesome and now I want to have his name.
[08:26] Mayting: "What's your name?" "fuck you"
[08:26] Gregonzola: "No, really. That's my name."

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Ugly Sweater Party

[12:43] jesabele: Thom had sex with a lesbian that we call spider tits
[12:43] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: NOT THE SPIDER TITS STORY
[12:43] Piter: No Thom, the spider tits story
[12:43] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So gross.
[12:43] jesabele: and the ugly sweaty party was the fattest, most awkward threesome
[12:43] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: The grossest of all possible grossness.
[12:43] Piter: especially as the term "spider tits" is intriguing as hell.
[12:44] Gregonzola: I believe this needs to be story time.
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Jesa, you cunt.
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I HATE YOU
[12:44] Piter sits down for story time.
[12:44] jesabele: go have some not awful sexual experiences!
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I am going to literally punch you in the mouth.
[12:44] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I WISH I COULD
[12:45] sWINgSet: thom had a threesome?
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: No.
[12:45] jesabele: hahahaha
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: It was not that.
[12:45] sWINgSet: or was there just a threesome's worth of flesh ?
[12:45] Carling: thom had sex with a spider?
[12:45] Gregonzola: A 5-some, actually. 4 fingers and a thumb.
[12:45] Carling: ohh i get it
[12:45] Carling: like the fat rolls made it look like extra boobies?
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: The girl wanted to bang myself and my incredibly large roommate.
[12:45] sWINgSet: thom is a supprting character on Ugly Sweaty
[12:45] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I actually just got a handjob while she blew my roommate and I watched Adventure Time.
[12:46] jesabele: the girl that likes to beer bong 4 lokos
[12:46] Piter: no wonder. so much sugar in that shit.
[12:46] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And she stood up, grabbed a condom and said "So which one of you is going to fuck me first?"
[12:46] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And I went to the living room and Matt went to the bathroom to throw up.
[12:46] sWINgSet: oh god
[12:46] Carling: wait
[12:46] jesabele: Carly is still hung up on spider tits
[12:47] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So we narrowly avoided the world's fattest threesome.
[12:47] Carling: so a hand job
[12:47] Carling: and a blow job are not throw up worthy
[12:47] Carling: but the next step crossed the line?
[12:47] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Yes.
[12:47] sWINgSet: they could be if she in some stage of undress
[12:47] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Because I was watching Adventure Time and not looking at her.
[12:47] sWINgSet: smart man
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: When she sttod up I appreciated the gravity of the situation.
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And the gravity was not kind.
[12:48] sWINgSet: is she called spider tits because it looks like she has 8 of them?
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Spider Tits has a giant spiderweb tattoo spanning her giant breasts.
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Actually, not a bad rack.
[12:48] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Kind of a bad everything else, though.
[12:50] Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And now I hate jesa more than anything because I do not like those stories.
[12:50] Carling: brb goobers
[12:50] Carling: i need to wash my brain
[12:50] Carling: of that image

Books vs Movies

[12:16] Ramone: War of the Worlds is one of my favorite books
[12:17] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the movie was better
[12:17] Ramone: The Invisible Man is good too, but the style is way different
[12:17] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: tom cruise makes everything better
[12:17] Everybody: The album from the 70s was better.
[12:17] Ramone: I hope you mean the 1950s movie
[12:17] Ramone: RAGE
[12:17] Gregonzola: I was about to make a mocking Tom Cruise comment. Too late.
[12:18] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i'm totally kidding. i don't read

Greg the Time Traveler

[12:10] Gregonzola: Or was that a bust?
[12:11] Ramone: Greg's awesome. He talks like it's 1914
[12:11] Ramone: "Shall we attend the box-social?"
[12:11] Gregonzola: I'm actually from 1914. We discovered time travel and I liked it better here.
[12:11] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: "can i interest you in a dubonnet and a pall mall?"
[12:11] Gregonzola: Absolutely, old boy.
[12:12] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: bully!
[12:12] Ramone: "Allow me to doff my cloak and facilitate your passing over this mud-puddle, my lady"

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Take that to PMs

[16:14] Mayting: I was SUPREMELY happy to see this (posted 1 week ago) [link] http:// www.youtube.com/ watch?v=kdaMI2wnVBg
[16:14] Gregonzola: No homemade sex videos in open chat. Please PM it to Shoo.
[16:15] Gregonzola: Woah. May, you're flexible.
[16:15] Mayting: Mine are profess.....*COUGH*. ...ahem....nvm  

Seriously, May.  This is not what most of us call porn.  Except us geeks.  This is geek porn for sure.

Wicked Nasty

[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i just had the worst indian food ever
[09:33] MISS HAVISHAM: what was so bad about it?
[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i was craving indian and there's this place around the corner
[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the tikka masala tastes like campbell's tomato soup
[09:33] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: i'm not exaggerating
[09:34] MISS HAVISHAM: ...wow.
[09:34] Piter: EW -hic-
[09:34] MISS HAVISHAM: that's awful.
[09:34] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: the rice is not cooked properly, either
[09:34] HAM SALAD SANDWICH: it looks like if uncle bens made basmati
[09:34] Piter: Uncle Benghali    

Monday, March 18, 2013

Darlin' it's better down where it's wetter

[12:39] Carling: turns out that underwater stuff is new
[12:43] Gregonzola: I wonder if they have usage statistics and realize the sea was just not very popular the way things were arranged.
[12:47] Everybody: I think they know it because we all bitched about it.
[12:49] Everybody: "The Sea" is basically analogous to "trying to talk your newly-wed wife into buttsex".
[12:50] Everybody: "Hey, look at all this high-level stuff we can do." "Why would I wanna do that? I like the low level content, over and over again!"
[12:50] Everybody: "But look at all these toys!" "They're pretty useless outside of buttsex, right?"
[12:51] Everybody: "I know, but doesn't it look fun?" "It looks like it has pressure issues, it takes a lot of time to prepare for, and the rewards aren't really applicable elsewhere in life."
[12:51] Everybody: "But I spent all this time researching, preparing, and drawing up fantasies."
[12:51] Everybody: "Maybe you should've asked me if I was interested first."
[12:52] Everybody: "Well, aren't you a completionist?" "Fine, I'll do it once, just to check it off. Don't expect me to come back to it."
[12:52] Everybody: "Wasn't that awesome?" "It was just about as painful and unrewarding as I expected. At least the salt water is hiding my tears."
[12:53] Everybody: I think they should replace the 'falling down drunk' zone with access to the ocean. -hic-

Oddly Specific

[08:12] MISS HAVISHAM: i don't want to be here. :(
[08:12] MISS HAVISHAM: i mean here, at work. i do want to be here, in the kingdom.
[08:16] MISS HAVISHAM: hey... my tattoo didn't upgrade?
[08:16] MISS HAVISHAM: oh. i'm just dumb.
[08:17] Big Daddy Grimm: stop that
[08:17] MISS HAVISHAM: what, talking to myself?
[08:17] Big Daddy Grimm: self degridation commentary is MY thing
[08:17] Piter: autodeprecation is the right of all -hic-
[08:17] Big Daddy Grimm: find your own niche. now get back on your pedestal and let me go back to trying to Woo you away from Shoo
[08:18] MISS HAVISHAM: grimmy, perhaps you should set a more realistic goal
[08:18] Big Daddy Grimm: they wouldnt be GOALS if they were realistic!
[08:18] Gregonzola: She's not after Shoo. She's after a homoerotic sex tape of Shoo and Mantz together.
[08:19] Piter: what
[08:19] MISS HAVISHAM: I'd prefer a front row seat and live action
[08:19] Piter: just
[08:19] Piter: what -hic-
[08:19] MISS HAVISHAM: but a tape would be okay.
[08:19] Big Daddy Grimm: so in order to steal her away from Shoo, I gotta steal Mantz away from Shoo first?
[08:19] Gregonzola: Yes.
[08:19] Piter: what
[08:20] Piter: what is this
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: yes but if you do i'll be angry forever
[08:20] Gregonzola: And then you won't actually get her, but you'll only get her drooling while watching.
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: so it'd be self-defeating.
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: watching... what?
[08:20] Big Daddy Grimm: if i get shoo to DIRECT the video...he would still be PART of the video....
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: if he steals mantz from shoo, what's left to watch?
[08:20] Big Daddy Grimm: its so Grimmy that it just might work!!!!
[08:20] MISS HAVISHAM: no, man. The Shoohorn needs a starring role.
[08:21] Gregonzola: The Shoohorn, Mantz and Grimmy.
[08:21] Gregonzola: Problem solved.
[08:21] MISS HAVISHAM: Not interested.
[08:21] Gregonzola: And she's still only going to watch, not join in.
[08:21] MISS HAVISHAM: I have a very specific vision.
[08:21] Gregonzola: Oh, no!
[08:21] Gregonzola: Grimmy's a dealbreaker.
[08:21] Gregonzola: Now you've shattered his self-confidence.
[08:22] Big Daddy Grimm: wow...i think it have had my fill of rejection juice...
[08:22] Piter: my eyes
[08:22] Big Daddy Grimm: i hereby withdraw
[08:22] Piter: my brain
[08:22] Gregonzola: Grimmy, go get anonymous head off of craigslist. You'll be fine.
[08:22] Carling logged on.
[08:22] MISS HAVISHAM: lol
[08:22] Big Daddy Grimm: way ahead of you
[08:22] MISS HAVISHAM: gross!
[08:22] Piter: ohgod -hic-
[08:22] Piter: why
[08:22] MISS HAVISHAM: you see, this is why my vision is very limited
[08:23] Big Daddy Grimm: whats the T stand for anyway?
[08:23] Carling: hey gang
[08:23] Piter: stop in the name of me
[08:23] MISS HAVISHAM: carlo, thanks for rescuing us
[08:23] Carling: ?
[08:23] MISS HAVISHAM: don't ask, just change the subject.    

Saturday, March 16, 2013

I don't think that's really Havi


MISS HAVISHAM: OHAI GREG, HAVE YOU SEEN MY ID
MISS HAVISHAM: NEVERMIND. I FOUND IT. I HAVE TO GO NOW. MANTZ IS MAKING ME WORK OUT AND THEN HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS. IT'S GONNA BE A LONG DAY.
MISS HAVISHAM logged off.
Gregonzola: Somebody clearly stole your login. You don't normally yell.
HAM SALAD SANDWICH: you know how i roll
HAM SALAD SANDWICH: we were having a capslock orgy

Friday, March 15, 2013

If you're clappy and you know it

[07:51] Big Daddy Grimm: if you are happy and you know it, you clap your hands. However, if you have the clap, you are not happy, and you KNOW it!

 photo Happy_zps7ab12636.jpg

This one's for Yilf

The puppy compels you to sleep.

 photo puppy_zpsd36908af.gif

Obey the cute puppy.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Pitching Tents

[15:58] screechpowers: most delayed response ever
[15:58] screechpowers: lol
[16:00] Gregonzola: Oh, no. I've done some very delayed responses.
[16:04] Shoo86: wut
[16:05] Gregonzola: Like Shoo. He has delayed responses.
[16:06] Shoo86: lol
[16:06] Shoo86: sexually speaking
[16:08] Gregonzola: Which makes porn very awkward for Shoo.
[16:08] Gregonzola: He watches some, then 3 hours later at dinner he's got the tent up and he's trying to make conversation.
[16:08] Gregonzola: "What? This? Just a delayed response."
[16:28] Shoo86: hahahah
[16:28] Shoo86: nice    

Jesa Goes Retro

[12:21] Gregonzola: I heard Jesa's wearing parachute pants.
[12:22] Gregonzola: So very retro.
[12:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: she's the mc hammer of our generation
[12:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: well, at least hers
[12:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: i guess mc hammer is the mc hammer of OUR generation
[12:24] Gregonzola: That's a very good point.
[12:24] Gregonzola: Is she still in diapers?
[12:24] jesabele logged on.
[12:24] jesabele: damn browser
[12:24] Gregonzola: Oh, she'd dropped off. What's the point of teasing Jesa when she's not really here?
[12:24] hAm Salad Sandwich: whoo oh oh oh oh STOP
[12:24] hAm Salad Sandwich: jesa time    

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

We're Perverts

[14:05] miss havisham: i am le tired and it's only 4. and i just got up an hour ago.
[14:05] miss havisham: vacation is exhausting.
[14:06] Gregonzola: Someone should chastise you with spanking right now. Where's Pooch when you need him?
[14:06] miss havisham: not here, that's for sure
[14:07] miss havisham: despite his threats
[14:07] Gregonzola: He may be all talk, no spank.
[14:07] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: You guys and your perversions.
[14:07] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: It saddens me to say that I am the moral compass of this clan.
[14:08] Gregonzola: Could be worse. At least no one here would fuck a ham sandwich... oh, wait.
[14:08] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: stfu
[14:09] Gregonzola: Heh.
[14:13] miss havisham: +1 to greg
[14:13] miss havisham: i'd fuck a ham sala... wait
[14:13] miss havisham: inappropriate, havi!
[14:13] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: I hate all of you.
[14:14] fantabulous: I find that hard to believe.
[14:14] miss havisham: You like me, Thom. I have vague drunken memories of us getting along very well
[14:14] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Nope.
[14:15] miss havisham: Hey, I low-carbed Imo's just for you. and watched everyone else eat garlic cheese bread.
[14:15] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: I told you NOT to low-carb Imo's.
[14:16] miss havisham: also thom, i didn't say i was obedient, just that i was thinking about you
[14:16] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: I only think about how much I hate all of you.
[14:16] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: LIKE, a bunch.
[14:16] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: ANGRY FACES
[14:17] miss havisham: happy faces, Ike
[14:20] fantabulous: Do you hate us so much that you're compelled to ram your erect penis in and out of a ham sandwich?
[14:20] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Shut up, Fanta.
[14:21] miss havisham: ragesandwichfuck
[14:23] Gregonzola: Aw, Thom. We love you. Not as much as you love a ham sandwich, but we love you.
[14:23] miss havisham: not in the same way, at least.
[14:24] miss havisham: But that'd be physically impossible, since not all of us are hung like tuna cans.    

Grammar

[11:51] sWINgSet: i was just texting with a friend that can't use your and you're properly and I wondered something
[11:51] sWINgSet: do they look at me using them properly and think "haha your an idiot!"


“Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your sh*t & knowing you're sh*t” by someecards.com

Welcome to Chat

[09:17] Yilfielle: give me advice
[09:17] Yilfielle: about mixing drinks
[09:17] Yilfielle: :I
[09:17] Piter: sweet tea vodka and lemonade
[09:17] Piter: MAKE IT
[09:17] Piter: YOU'LL LOVE IT
[09:19] Yilfielle: i like sweet things BU
[09:19] Piter: well, that's mighty sweet
[09:19] Piter: and doesn't taste like alcohol
[09:19] Piter: ergo, YOU'LL LOVE IT
[09:20] Piter: firefly is the best sweet tea vodka (Wadmalaw Island SC REPRESENT)
[09:20] Piter: but burnett's is a passable alternative, and more affordable
[09:21] Piter: I'd normally never say this about burnett's because their regular vodka tastes like furniture
[09:21] Yilfielle: it...
[09:21] Yilfielle: tastes like
[09:21] Yilfielle: furniture?
[09:21] Yilfielle: I WANT IT
[09:21] Piter: NO -hic-
[09:21] Piter: YOU DON'T
[09:21] Piter: it's horrid. it tastes like furniture vodka
[09:21] Yilfielle: furniture
[09:21] Yilfielle: it tastes like
[09:21] Yilfielle: furniture
[09:21] Yilfielle: oh god
[09:21] Yilfielle: i want it so bad
[09:21] Yilfielle: yesssssssssssss
[09:21] Piter: like tables and chairs
[09:22] Piter: and ottomans
[09:22] Yilfielle: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
[09:22] Yilfielle: HILARIOUSSSSSSSSSSSS
[09:22] Piter: and it burns like the fire of about 60 matches
[09:23] miss havisham logged on.
[09:24] Gregonzola: It's only really good if you can light your urine on fire after you process it.
[09:24] miss havisham: Hi Greg
[09:24] miss havisham: Um. I take that back  

 photo Liver_zpsb8fbc2fd.jpg

Thursday, March 7, 2013

I really am

[13:28] Gregonzola: [link] http:// i1337.photobucket.com/albums/o674/Gregonzola/ 20130307_130416_zpse 1a0ed82.jpg
[13:28] Gregonzola: It's my excuse for my typos.
[13:28] Gregonzola: Even though I make them even without the sprained wrist.
[13:29] miss havisham: my new excluse: "I'm wearing Greg's wrist brace. He's in the shower."
[13:29] miss havisham: DAMMIT
[13:29] miss havisham: fuck, i even proofread that one.
[13:29] Gregonzola: That's a great excuse, but what am I doing in your shower?
[13:29] FearTheFrail: meeow.
[13:29] miss havisham: Cleaning it, I hope. someone needs to. -hic-
[13:29] miss havisham: it is pretty evident it's not gonna be me this week.
[13:29] Gregonzola: I'm good at that.    

Take it to PMs

[13:13] FearTheFrail thhhpthhhp
[13:14] Gregonzola: Fear, no cybering in open chat.
[13:14] miss havisham: at least let us know who your partner is before you take it to PMs, ftf
[13:14] FearTheFrail: ...oh, shit. >_>
[13:15] hAm Salad Sandwich: yeah, that's... disturbing
[13:15] FearTheFrail: I was told I could only cyber in parseltongue, my bad.    

Mantz's comment was actually on an unrelated conversation (I think) but is hilarious if left in.

The Live ones are a Lot of Fun

[13:04] Everybody: If she's really a puppy, I'll have to adopt her. :(
[13:04] miss havisham: you should adopt her anyway. someone has to like her if she's going to stay.
[13:04] Everybody: You don't have to LIKE puppies. You only have to love them.
[13:05] miss havisham: oh, like toddlers. -hic-
[13:05] miss havisham: or my mom.
[13:05] Ramone: are we talking about yilf again y/n    

Cockware

[12:08] Gregonzola: And yes, Syd's absolutely beautiful. If I weren't married and old enough to be her father I'd totally hit on her.
[12:09] Everybody: Well, I'm not married.
[12:09] Gregonzola: Heh, Pooch.
[12:09] Everybody: *stunt cock*
[12:09] SYdNEY REbIK: Nah pucc, wouldn't wanna make Havi jealous
[12:09] hAm Salad Sandwich: haha
[12:10] Gregonzola: Smart woman. Nobody needs a cat fight.
[12:11] Everybody: Oh, puh-leez.
[12:11] Everybody: She didn't put a ring on it.
[12:11] Gregonzola: Your cock?
[12:11] SYdNEY REbIK: I don't need her showing up on my doorstep brandishing a large frying pan
[12:11] SYdNEY REbIK: ha
[12:11] Everybody: She doesn't hit it with gingers anyway.
[12:11] hAm Salad Sandwich: i'd be delighted if syd showed up at my door carrying cookware
[12:11] Gregonzola: *cockware
[12:11] Gregonzola: Pooch, cock rings are just toys, not symbols of commitment.
[12:11] hAm Salad Sandwich: best day ever
[12:12] Everybody: No, if I let someone strangle my schlong, that's a commitment.
[12:12] SYdNEY REbIK: If that ever happens, please save me. Cuz chances are, i got tricked into a pyramid scheme
[12:12] Gregonzola: Touché, Pooch.
[12:13] SYdNEY REbIK: Douché
[12:13] Everybody: Douche' canoe'?
[12:14] hAm Salad Sandwich: haha

Chicken of the Sea

[11:43] Gregonzola: Thom can't have bagels. Remember what he does with sandwiches? Yeah, bagels are shaped perfectly for it.
[11:44] jesabele: nah, it is too tiny for him to feel anything with the bagel
[11:44] Gregonzola: Oh, ouch.
[11:45] miss havisham: ouch!
[11:45] Gregonzola: And also, Jesa, how do you know about Thom's penis?
[11:45] jesabele: I know people
[11:45] Gregonzola: A friend told you about it, huh?
[11:45] miss havisham: how big is my penis, jesa?
[11:46] Thomas Earl Waldrop II: My penis is not tiny.
[11:46] miss havisham: thom is hung like a can of tuna fish
[11:46] miss havisham: this has been established    

Being Jesa

[11:32] jesabele: ohi
[11:33] hAm Salad Sandwich: hey guys look i'm jesa
[11:33] hAm Salad Sandwich: ohi
[11:33] Piter: jesa you're a person
[11:33] hAm Salad Sandwich: spot on impressions are kinda my thing
[11:33] Gregonzola: You nailed it.    

Goat Videos

These don't have anything to do with clan conversations.  I'm just mentally 9 years old and they make me laugh.

How about some Bon Jovi?


Too hard for you?  Here's some Taylor Swift:


I know, totally trendy.  A classic maybe?  Whitney Houston:

It was on fire when I lay down on it

[10:22] Piter: fuck I just lit myself on fire
[10:23] hAm Salad Sandwich: haha -hic-
[10:25] miss havisham: lol piter. best thing to come back to
    

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Timing is everything


Gregonzola: I missed Lee's check-in. Dang.
Shoo86: heh
Shoo86: it was lightning fast
Everybody: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

Lee just came by to say hi


Ramone: skunkbutt dicknose

Or that.

That really looks good


hAm Salad Sandwich: i'm now past the 24 hour mark of having eaten so everything sounds amazing
hAm Salad Sandwich: my hands look delicious right now
hAm Salad Sandwich: rigby looks like a ribeye
fantabulous: I'm not fond of cole slaw.
Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Eat something, Mantz.
Gregonzola: Mantz, why are you fasting?
hAm Salad Sandwich: you should hear what it said about you, fanta
Thomas Earl Waldrop II: Fanta, you're a monster.
Gregonzola: Blood tests, poverty, or new found faith? -hic-
hAm Salad Sandwich: i'm not fasting on purpose
hAm Salad Sandwich: i just forgot to eat last night and now i'm profastinating

If you'll be my bodyguard


hAm Salad Sandwich: my neighbor just stopped by and borrowed a cup of sugar
hAm Salad Sandwich: what is this 1950?
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: They were casing the joint!
hAm Salad Sandwich: I woke up in the middle of a cold war cliche
hAm Salad Sandwich: she's kinda cute
hAm Salad Sandwich: my building is full of cute girls, actually
hAm Salad Sandwich: i can't wait for the summertime when the pool is open
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I'm moving in, Matnz.
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: You need a fat bearded sidekick
hAm Salad Sandwich: I'll be like thom at an all you can eat buffet
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: If sitcoms ever taught me anything, it's that.
hAm Salad Sandwich: haha thom you would be an amazing sidekick
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Two plates and you feel ashamed?
hAm Salad Sandwich: pretty much
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So you just hit the soft serve repeatedly?
hAm Salad Sandwich: "sir! you can't take the steam trays!"
hAm Salad Sandwich: haha soft serve
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Leaving with pockets full of shrimp.

Sadlarious and Shidiotic


Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: So, remember my shitty phone survey job?
Piter: sure
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: They apparently never got the message that I quit oh so many months ago. -hic-
Gregonzola: They didn't fire your ass for not showing up?
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: They called me today and asked if I still wanted to work there, and what hours I wanted.
hAm Salad Sandwich: my old job was paying for my health insurance for 6 months after i quit. dumbasses
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I haven't been there for fucking like, four months!
Gregonzola: They must really, really need phone lackeys, Thom. And Mantz, that's awesome.
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: And I told them to give me every available shift.
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: Because I fucking need money.
Gregonzola: Well, heck. Go get you some dough!
hAm Salad Sandwich: tell them you won't come back until they pay you for those 4 months that you dutifully showed up and never recieved a paycheck
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: I just realized
Gregonzola: haha.
Avatar of Sneaky JarlsBoris: This is technically the longest I have ever held a job.
hAm Salad Sandwich: haha thom that's sadlarious
hAm Salad Sandwich: oh, i learned a new word today. shidiotic
miss havisham: sadlarious. love it.