Dangerous Havi

[09:42] miss havisham logged off.
[09:42] Everybody: That's right, lady, you run! You log off! We'll get you!
[09:43] Shoo86: haha
[09:46] Gregonzola: She scares me She could cut a guy.
[09:46] Gregonzola: She's 5 feet with pure fury.
[09:46] Gregonzola: And hair.
[09:48] Gregonzola: I'm making upon Dangerous Havi. -hic-
[09:48] Gregonzola: She should probably wear leather if she's going from be Dangerous.
[09:49] Everybody: Lol, she's taller than 5'.
[09:49] Everybody: Hmm. No, I just can't imagine her in leather.
[09:49] Gregonzola: Oh, sure. Ruin imaginary Dangerous Havi. -hic-
[09:49] Everybody: Waaait, yes I can.
[09:49] Gregonzola: She wouldn't cut you, either.
[09:49] Everybody: I can't see it HAPPENING, but I can sure imagine it.
[09:49] Gregonzola: Heh.
[09:58] Everybody: New goal: get Havi to cut me.
[09:58] Gregonzola: She won't.
[09:58] Gregonzola: She's not actually dangerous.
[09:58] Everybody: I have a special talent for making women violent.
[09:59] Everybody: Chicks who have never punched anyone in their life punch me. :)
[10:10] Everybody: So, Havi, we wanted to know.. how do you feel about dressing up in leather?
[10:11] miss havisham: um, like a nice leather jacket? I'd be okay with that.
[10:11] Gregonzola: You're talking to real Havi. I was making up imaginary Dangerous Havi. -hic-
[10:11] Everybody: Boots? Pants?
[10:11] miss havisham: Leather shoes, also cool
[10:11] Everybody: She might be a Havi girl in a Havi world.
[10:11] miss havisham: I don't enjoy boots at all, no matter the material
[10:11] miss havisham: my toes clamor to be free
[10:11] Everybody: Oh.
[10:12] miss havisham: i'd consider leather pants, in the right set of circumstances.
[10:12] Everybody generally hates anyone whose alias includes the word 'Hermit' on principle.
[10:12] miss havisham: which would first involve losing about 50 more pounds...
[10:12] miss havisham: so... there go my plans for my HermitHavi alt
[10:12] miss havisham: :(
[10:12] miss havisham: HermitHaviInLeather
[10:13] Everybody: Uh. Your existing name is specifically hermitudinous enough, don't you think?
[10:13] miss havisham: Only for the literate
[10:14] Gregonzola: You're not concerned with the illiterate, right? They have trouble chatting.
[10:14] Everybody: wut u sa?
[10:14] Gregonzola: I'm thinking Dangerous Havi would be kind of like Black Widow.
[10:14] miss havisham: DangerHavi
[10:14] miss havisham: that's a superhero, right? is her superpower killing dudes?
[10:15] Everybody: Her superpower is CUTTIng dudes.
[10:15] miss havisham: um... cutting off their dicks, or just more general cutting?
[10:15] Gregonzola: She's a Russian Spy turned superhero, isn't she?
[10:15] Everybody: I told you I was going to unlock this achievement, Grego, and I'm going for it.
[10:15] Everybody: Just cutting.
[10:16] Everybody: I could go clothes shopping.
[10:16] Everybody: But I prefer to have a female with me for that.
[10:16] miss havisham: i could be a Russian spy. that part sounds cool.
[10:16] miss havisham: a female with you to unlock achievements or shop for clothing?
[10:16] Shoo86: i dont wanna ruin his kol fun
[10:17] Gregonzola: Sure you do!
[10:17] miss havisham: i do
[10:17] Shoo86: i just wanna make him mad for a bit
[10:17] miss havisham: fuck that guy.
[10:17] miss havisham: i'll cut him.
[10:18] Shoo86: havi did you get those optimal dog pics i sent?
[10:19] miss havisham: idk, i had to delete the files sight unseen. Timing, shoo. You couldn't have sent 'em six weeks ago?!
[10:20] Gregonzola: Give a Havi a relationship, and she's very honorable.
[10:21] miss havisham: Yeah, but I can be honorable and still cut dudes
[10:21] miss havisham: and speak Russian?
[10:21] Gregonzola: You can, Havi.
[10:21] miss havisham: can i speak russian too?
[10:21] miss havisham: great.
[10:21] miss havisham: WAIT A MINUTE
[10:21] miss havisham: is this related to leather? is this a trap?
[10:22] miss havisham: i get to provide my own wardrobe.
[10:22] miss havisham: i will cut dudes while i wear baggy jeans.
[10:22] Gregonzola: Black Widow doesn't always wear leather. Mostly just when Scarlett Johansson is playing her.
[10:23] Shoo86: heh
[10:25] miss havisham: Oh, good. Well, seeing no movie stars here, I think I'm good to go with long skirts and baggy jeans.
[10:25] Everybody: Long skirts are good for hiding long weapons.
[10:26] miss havisham: yes, like my enormous dick
[10:27] Everybody: Uhh.
[10:27] miss havisham: what, i can't cut people with my enormous dick? let me read my contract again
[10:28] Everybody: Because then you'd get blood on your dick, and that's not safe.
[10:28] Everybody: Unless you have also a super immune system that protects you from blood-borne diseases.
[10:28] miss havisham: Hmm, good point.
[10:28] miss havisham: I'll stick to blades, then.
[10:28] miss havisham: *puts away the enormous dick*
[10:29] Everybody: Every man considers the application of his penis as a killing device, and we all reach the same conclusion.
[10:29] Everybody: The only effective means is to choke someone to death with it.
[10:29] miss havisham: oh.
[10:30] miss havisham: you're ruining my dreams, here. i want to beat someone to death with a dick, just once. 
[10:30] Everybody: You can, but you have to do it from the inside, wink wink, nudge nudge.
[10:30] Everybody: Unless you can do that dim mak touch thing with it.
[10:30] Everybody: Dim mak bad touch.
[10:31] Shoo86: hmm
[10:31] miss havisham: hmm. can't i just poison people
[10:32] miss havisham: doesn't that seem more black widow-y?
[10:32] Everybody: Poison isn't a very .. filmworthy means of death.
[10:33] Everybody: It is generally long, drawn out...
[10:33] Everybody: You'd have to do one shot every hour or so.
[10:33] Everybody: A montage of screaming, vomiting, bleeding from orifices. You know. The kind of shit Hollywood loves.