Poetry at your own risk

15:47] Everybody: If at first she won't suck seed, try, try again?
[15:47] Big Daddy Grimm: that was beautiful....
[15:47] Big Daddy Grimm: *sniff*
[15:47] Everybody bows.
[15:47] miss havisham: i totally nominate pooch for clan poet laureate
[15:47] Big Daddy Grimm: I would say I think i got something in my eye...but in this place..im afraid to
[15:48] Everybody: Yeah, bowing is just bending over.. I wasn't so sure about doing that either.

Havi's Penis Chronicles Part the third: Home Delivery

[15:22] Everybody: Werepenis of London again!
[15:41] miss havisham: i gotta go all the way to london to get dick? damn.
[15:41] Big Daddy Grimm: havi
[15:41] Big Daddy Grimm: you are a woman
[15:41] Big Daddy Grimm: getting dick should be just as easy, if not easier, than ordering out for pizza.
[15:42] Big Daddy Grimm: hell, if porn has taught me anything, you get both at the same time if you want
[15:42] miss havisham: oh. but see above re: women being picky
[15:42] miss havisham: i only like very specific dick. i'm much pickier about dick than pizza.
[15:43] Everybody: Havi has a strict rule of not banging people in her own time zone.
[15:43] miss havisham: I try to be accommodating
[15:43] Big Daddy Grimm: her sex is THAT good that it affects timezones?
[15:44] Everybody: HEY, /CLAN, HAVI IS GOING TO ACCOMODATE US.
[15:45] miss havisham: not all of you, jeez.
[15:45] miss havisham: I SAID I WAS PICKY

Havi's Penis Chronicle's Part the second: the working girl

[12:06] miss havisham: oh my god. I just read a news headline that said "Obama's broken promise"
[12:07] miss havisham: but I read "Obama's broken penis"
[12:07] miss havisham: I think I need to go to penis rehab or something. i may have a problem.
[12:07] Everybody: But you'd say, "No, no, no."
[12:07] miss havisham: *snort*
[12:07] Big Daddy Grimm: take two penii and call me in the morning
[12:11] miss havisham: ok, but i'm not taking obama's. it's broken.
[12:12] Big Daddy Grimm: you have plenty of options in this clan alone, but that would be like shopping in one of those hidden in the back of a chinese laundromat type of stores, where there is always a catch
[12:13] Big Daddy Grimm: like "do not feed it any booty after midnight; etc.
[12:13] miss havisham: it's true; the world is not short on penis.
[12:16] Everybody: Isn't it, though? Aren't there more women in the world than men.
[12:16] Big Daddy Grimm: and yet women are still picky as hell
[12:16] Everybody: OMG , HAVI, YOU NEED TO START HOARDING PENISES.
[12:17] Big Daddy Grimm: thats why i am all for legalizing gay marriage
[12:17] Big Daddy Grimm: to make women realize they are running out of viable options
[12:17] miss havisham: Eh, just mail me the floppy purple dong and i'll be ok
[12:17] miss havisham: women are picky? hmm.
[12:17] Piter logged on.
[12:17] miss havisham: i guess i'm picky. yeah.
[12:17] Big Daddy Grimm: OR, havi is right...i should invest funds in the dildo business.
[12:18] Big Daddy Grimm: an market it as i did above
[12:18] Big Daddy Grimm: ka-CHING
[12:19] miss havisham: i want a cut
[12:19] Big Daddy Grimm: you are the whole legal dept of the comany havi!
[12:19] Big Daddy Grimm: also R&D and product testing.
[12:20] miss havisham: i wear many hats
[12:22] Big Daddy Grimm: just dont get confused which one is which...
[12:23] Big Daddy Grimm: cliff notes: law dept. does the f*ing. R&D: thinks of new ways of f*ng. product testing: gets f*d
[12:23] Big Daddy Grimm: and despite being in one sec for a few ages, i STILL dont feel comfortable spelling out the whole word...
[12:23] Big Daddy Grimm: go figure
[12:24] miss havisham: lol!
[12:25] miss havisham: ok. i need something to wash down this snack. i'm going out in search of caffeine. see you guys soon.

*Grimmy now wonders as he posts this that with all the penis talk...just what WAS that snack...

Havi's Penis Chronicles. Part the first

[10:09] miss havisham: hello /clan
[10:09] Everybody: Hello, doens't blow hard enough!
[10:10] miss havisham: i'll show you hard enough
[10:11] Everybody: Like a big bad wolf?
[10:11] miss havisham: More like... zebralicious
[10:11] miss havisham: i mean, what?
[10:12] Everybody: Did you ever find out if zebradicks are striped?
[10:13] miss havisham: well, yahoo! answers tells me that a zebra's genitals are all-black.
[10:13] Everybody: Once you go zebra. -hic-
[10:18] Shoo86: hi
[10:18] Shoo86: oooh
[10:18] Shoo86: now i get it
[10:18] Shoo86: havi did spirometry
[10:18] Everybody: YOUR MOM?
[10:18] Shoo86: fuck, train time i gotta run
[10:18] Shoo86: see you all later
[10:18] Everybody: Whut? But I want to play with the spirograph too!
[10:19] miss havisham: spirometry what
[10:19] miss havisham: WHAT DID I DO
[10:19] Everybody: 'spiro' is breath, dear.
[10:19] miss havisham: ooooooh
[10:19] miss havisham: shoo's catching up on my medical drama, got it

PSA (Pooch's Service Announcement)

[12:52] Everybody: Damn. Most of /clan isn't here.
[12:52] Everybody: I wanted to tell them that Havi's doctor says she doesn't blow when told to. [12:53] Big Daddy Grimm: HA
[12:53] miss havisham: poor pooch
[12:53] miss havisham: no audience for his hilarity
[12:53] Big Daddy Grimm: no worries
[12:53] Big Daddy Grimm: i can blog it for posterity
[12:53] Everybody: I figure we need to do her doctor a favor and train her.

Yoga Pants: The Sequel - Yoga Pants and Crazy Sex

 [clan] JoshTheManiac: God bless Yoga pants.
[clan] Shoo86: bless yoga pants and ignore africa
[clan] Shoo86: lol
[clan] Everybody: Amen, yoga pantzez.
[clan] KrakMunky69: mmm yoga pants
[clan] Everybody: Mm, pants.
[clan] KrakMunky69: the pictures of megan fox on a trampoline in yoga pants from the TMNT set are amazing
[clan] Shoo86: megan fox is gross -hic-
[clan] Grimmy: how so?
[clan] KrakMunky69: she's crazy as hell but i don't mind crazy
[clan] KrakMunky69: the best sex is always from crazy
[clan] Everybody: The 5 years of therapy afterward as well.