Perverts!

MasterSilex: i guess i should kill the knob king even tho i dont really want to

MasterSilex: oh and ill fax/arrow a pervert today, thats a good idea

ham Salad sAndWich: pervert?

KrakMunky69: why are you trying to fax and shoot me?

MasterSilex: smut orc pervert

Steamy Letters to Dear Penthouse

Anybody named Dear Penthouse is going to get some great letters.  She sent this one for posting:

From AssTractionHero (#2089792)
Date: Friday, December 28, 2012, 04:26AM

*writes*

"Dear Penthouse,

I'm not really into big knockers, as I think that much more than a handful is a waste, but...
You have a fairly epic set of tits on you, and if you need someone to "Brrrumsky!" you, if you asked.
I would probably "motorboat" you into submission, but then, again...

It's been months since I've seen another woman's pootie.

Good luck, God bless! >_<

HAWT!

And she's sure it really hasn't been months for a stud like AssTractionHero.

Yogscast

[20:34] Shoo86: sup?
[20:34] KrakMunky69: watching yogscast
[20:35] Shoo86: whats that?
[20:36] KrakMunky69: it's a gaming thing, a lot of minecraft stuff
[20:36] Shoo86: ahh
[20:37] Shoo86: i never really liked minecraft
[20:37] Shoo86: id always mark so many bombs and then lose anyway

SuperScreech

screechpowers: i'm back again

screechpowers: but i'm about to go to the dentist!

Shoo86: woohoo

screechpowers: yeah it's gonna be awesome. i think i'm getting a sealant or something

Shoo86: sick

screechpowers: hahahaha

Dear Penthouse: Sealants are cool.

Dear Penthouse: You can't get cavities there for a few years.

Dear Penthouse: Rock on, Screech.

Dear Penthouse: You'll be superwoman against tooth decay.

screechpowers: thats the best sealant pep talk i've ever received

How's that again?

[clan] KrakMunky69: "consensual nonconsent"
[clan] Leeverb: oh god
[clan] fantabulous: I thought that was fairly common.
[clan] Miss Havisham: as did i
[clan] Shoo86: is that where you both act like you dont want it so you just sit there?

What are you Into?

Miss Havisham: yeah, i'm into guys who are into guys
KrakMunky69: i'm also a member of a private swingers club where that *^$% is going on all the time
KrakMunky69: just looked at the calendar there is a theme night in january perfect for havi lol
KrakMunky69: Bi-Bi Love Friday January 25th - Every night is bi-ladies night, but this night is geared towards bi-men.
KrakMunky69: just gotta find 2 guys wearing purple bands
Miss Havisham: oh *^$%, wait, i might have a boyfriend by then.
Miss Havisham: he's not into m/m/f. :(
Shoo86: so leave his ass home
Leeverb: but his ass is the part that will attract the guy she wants

Beef Jerky Guy

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The New Normal

Miss Havisham: just because a lot of people get off on jizz merry go rounds makes them normal and me not?

Miss Havisham pouts

Spell Check or Drunkenness?

Carling: skeletal quiche is the shit

jesabele: I have two of them

Leeverb: jes is always talking about her boobs

Gregonzola: I need 3 farm plots. I'm growing peppermint sprouts for drinks!

Gregonzola: She has two whole boobs.

jesabele: not always but I am rather fond of them

Big Daddy Grimm: as are we all jes

Big Daddy Grimm: funny how close fondle and fondly are spelled

Leeverb: I am a dum

Leeverb: never installed a chef

jesabele: last friday Thom was super drunk, in a santa suit and wouldn't stop talking about some girl's large tracks of land

jesabele: then he wanted to go to her "ugly sweaty party"

Leeverb: 'UUUGE tracts of land!

Gregonzola: Tracts of Land. Awesome.

[Editor's note:  Two whole boobs are not two whole tacos.  Which are better is up for debate.]

Of Fantasies and Disappointments

puCCini: Dear /Clan, my attempts to talk havi into a F-M-F 3some keep failing.

KrakMunky69: sucks to be you pooch

puCCini: The lack of sucking sucks.

Dear Penthouse: Pooch, tell us more about this problem you have with Havi.

Big Daddy Grimm: it blows

KrakMunky69: you need to be more convincing

Dear Penthouse: What have you tried?

Miss Havisham: That's not exactly accurate, dear. -hic-

Big Daddy Grimm: is there a romantic way of saying " I want to bang you like a screen door in a hurricane'?

Miss Havisham: Although you would find more success if you'd consent to M/M/F. I have a list of candidates for your perusal.

ham Salad sAndWich: my coworker said she would consider a 3some with the doctor last night. she was pretty drunk, though

KrakMunky69: fingercuffs

ham Salad sAndWich: she also said "i don't want to be into you... because I'm not!"

ham Salad sAndWich: it was pretty hilarious

puCCini: Havi, doll, you negotiate my temporary freedom without consequences. I'll get it done.

ham Salad sAndWich: totally busted admitting she has a crush on me by herself

Dear Penthouse: Best comeback: "But I'd really like to be into you."

ham Salad sAndWich: i was way too busy laughing my ass off for a comeback

Miss Havisham: Pooch, if anyone's in a position to do that, it might be me.

Miss Havisham: Of course, that's not saying much.

Dear Penthouse: What I'm gathering from the Havi/Pooch conversation is that both of them would like to be the center of attention in a threesome.

Miss Havisham: I'm gonna guess that surprises absolutely nobody

puCCini eh shrugs.

puCCini: I'm not much on being the center of things.

puCCini: I am a supporting role.

KrakMunky69: just go full on orgy, then everyone is happy

Dear Penthouse: Unless you mean Havi, then you're very much on being in the center of Havi. And another chick.

Miss Havisham: More is not necessarily better.

puCCini: Nah, 2 centers at once? That cannot happen.

puCCini: I am a very clear monotasker.

puCCini: There is only room for one vibe in my head at a time.

puCCini: I'm standing over earth with my scrotum gleaming in the morning light ...

puCCini: "THAT'S NO MOON"

Miss Havisham: ...i just overloaded on possible responses to vibes

Gregonzola: Vibrators should not be put in the ear.

Miss Havisham: oh, ew, I forgot. Men have scrotums. Next plan!

Dear Penthouse: Unless you're trying to loosen up some earwax.

KrakMunky69: pooch just negated himself from that ffm 3way

ham Salad sAndWich: haha one of my favorite things to say when I feel overworked is "I feel like the only pretty girl at the orgy"

puCCini: Nah, it's an F-F binary star system with an M satellite.

ham Salad sAndWich: hot

Miss Havisham: glad I don't know what that means -hic-

Miss Havisham: But if it means you primarily expect me to get it on with a girl, she better not have big boobs.

Dear Penthouse: Big boobs don't work for you, Havi?

Miss Havisham: No. I don't like boobs.

Gregonzola: Almost as bad as scrotums, huh?

puCCini uhhhms and just decides to stop sharing any more information before he hangs himself.

Miss Havisham: Hmm. Is the reason 'mone whitelisted me so someone would shut Pooch up from time to time?

Dear Penthouse: Pooch made speechless? This is a first.

Miss Havisham: No, it happened last night too.

Miss Havisham: Scrotums are the price of admission to dicks.

Gregonzola: We like Pooch's silliness.

Miss Havisham: Boobs just get in the way and there's no reward.

KrakMunky69: lies

ham Salad sAndWich: i second the bullshit call

Miss Havisham: Me too, Greg. :( -hic-

puCCini: Havi, prove it. Have your breasts removed.

Gregonzola: Going to third the BS there. Boobs are worth it.

puCCini is not speechless, he is taking the 5th.

Miss Havisham: Pooch, if you fund the endeavor, I'll go for it.

ham Salad sAndWich: noooooo

puCCini: Hmms. If I pay for them, do I get to own them immediately?

Miss Havisham: I'm not sure the legality of ownership of medical waste

puCCini: I mean, can I parade you into chat and be like, "Ok guys, kiss 'em goodbye. ALLA YA, KISS EM."?

Miss Havisham: you can work that out with the surgeon/hospital

puCCini: They wouldn't be waste yet.

Miss Havisham: OH

puCCini: Basically, the moment I enter the contract to take maintenance of them ...

puCCini: They become my property.

Miss Havisham: that depends on the terms of the contract.

screechpowers: morning guys

Gregonzola: Photographs before they're removed, please. Much like a flower, when beauty is about to die it should be immortalized photographically.

puCCini: Well, I certainly am not going to enter to a contract that lacks this clause.

Gregonzola: Merry Bananas, Screech.

ham Salad sAndWich: screeeeeech

screechpowers: hahaahaha

puCCini: Morning, Screechy. :)

screechpowers: :D

puCCini: Photographs, hell, let's do some casts and molds.

Miss Havisham: Merry Bananas! -hic-

screechpowers: you guys are the best

ham Salad sAndWich: hey screech are you looking for a job in Boston today?

Miss Havisham: This is a lot of fuss for things I'm trying to get RID of

KrakMunky69: sup screech

screechpowers: haha maybe! i need to apply somewhere!

Gregonzola: Havi, you are wise enough to understand the importance of boobs to men.

ham Salad sAndWich: I'm going to start sending you craigslist posts

Gregonzola: We love them. Size isn't the key. It's the fact they're boobs. -hic-

Miss Havisham: You may not be wise enough to understand the unimportance of men to me.

Gregonzola: No, I've captured that. But if you're going to let Pooch have yours removed, it would be sad not to at least have some record of the undestroyed boobs.

puCCini: I think your son would be traumatized, Havi.

ham Salad sAndWich: greg is working the shit out of this angle :P

Miss Havisham: He... uh...

Miss Havisham: doesn't... um.

puCCini: He knows what it feels like to snuggle on his mama's lap.

Miss Havisham: I feel like there's no good answer to the question I want to ask: "Why does my son care about my boobs?"

puCCini: Radical changes in morphology might be upsetting.

Miss Havisham: Not that radical. They're just Bs.

puCCini: Not to mention your daughter.

Miss Havisham: Then we'd match!

puCCini: She'd starve herself for life to keep her breasts small.

Miss Havisham: I do not think anybody IN THE WORLD would notice.

Miss Havisham: except men who got me naked, who don't have to exist in the future.

Miss Havisham: um, maybe a doctor here and there. -hic-

ham Salad sAndWich: There would be a disturbance felt. Like a million tiny voices crying out at once.

KrakMunky69: trust me, any man that knows you would notice

Gregonzola: Mantz, haha.

puCCini: Certainly would destroy a few of MY showertime fantasies.

Miss Havisham: Drop the fantasies; get a friend and a handrail

puCCini: You're my friend, right?

Miss Havisham: Yeah but last night you told me to stay out of your shower :(

puCCini: I have two showers.

ham Salad sAndWich: regular and golden

Origin Story

[20:53] Shoo86: MANTZ
[20:53] Miss Havisham: oh i thought about you earlier.
[20:54] Miss Havisham: the guy in front of me ordered you for lunch.
[20:54] Pa amb Tomaquet: "I'd like a Mantz, please"?
[20:54] Miss Havisham: well, a ham salad sandwich. i still don't think i've seen mantz use any name but this one.
[20:54] ham Salad sAndWich: "One art, please"
[20:55] Pa amb Tomaquet: people actually eat ham salad?
[20:55] AbbyNormal: haha id take a mantz hha
[20:55] Miss Havisham: i didn't know it was a thing.
[20:55] KrakMunky69: it's gross as shit
[20:55] Gregonzola: I would eat ham salad.
[20:55] ham Salad sAndWich: It's delioghtful, Lena.
[20:55] Pa amb Tomaquet: I remember Mantz saying that he made it up because it sounded disgusting.
[20:55] Gregonzola: Thinly sliced ham? Awesome.
[20:55] ham Salad sAndWich: well sorta
[20:55] Gregonzola: Cut into little cubes or rectangles.
[20:56] KrakMunky69: no it's all ground up
[20:56] Gregonzola: Mixed with Best Foods and some spices.
[20:56] ham Salad sAndWich: it all started with me hating on my exes dog who was terrible but handsome
[20:56] KrakMunky69: and it's somehow even saltier usually
[20:56] Miss Havisham: yes, it was proudly displayed in the case. it was diced, tiny cubes, mixed with mayo and what looked like celery and apples or something
[20:56] ham Salad sAndWich: and I would call him "handsome"
[20:56] Miss Havisham: *shudder*
[20:57] ham Salad sAndWich: Then as he got worse it turned to "haaaaaaaaaam salad"
[20:57] ham Salad sAndWich: I only know how to train dogs via sarcasm. I'm actually really good at it.
[20:58] ham Salad sAndWich: I could make a fortune training dogs. All my friends and neighbors have them and
[20:59] ham Salad sAndWich: I change behavior with sarcasm.
[20:59] Miss Havisham: I train children with sarcasm, so i believe it is possible for dogs.
[20:59] ham Salad sAndWich: "Oh sweet. You're a year old and you can still pee on a puppy pad."
[21:00] ham Salad sAndWich: Swear to god that dog never used the pad again.
[21:00] Miss Havisham: (now it pees in the shower)
[21:00] ham Salad sAndWich: i thought you trained graduate students, havi
[21:00] Miss Havisham: Not as effectively as I train pre-teens
[21:01] KrakMunky69: my exs cat was trained to use the toilet
[21:01] ham Salad sAndWich: no he's hoousebroken. It was actually hilarious
[21:01] ham Salad sAndWich: wait...
[21:01] KrakMunky69: scared the shit out of me more than a few times 

Fighting Cancer

Gregonzola: Syd needs to know of this important Scientific Discovery.

Gregonzola: [link] http://now.msn.com/squeezing-breasts-can-stop-cancer

Gregonzola: This is important.

sYdney rebik: I already k-k-knew that *brr!*

sYdney rebik: that's not a new discovery

sYdney rebik: I squeeze my boobs every day

Gregonzola: Good woman.

Gregonzola: Now we need to let Havi, Ria, Screech and all the others know.

Gregonzola: WE MUST STOP CANCER!

sYdney rebik: My boobs kinda hurt r-r-r-right now. My whole chest. Took a n-nice spill trying to 360 boardslide the 12 stair *brr!*

Shoo86: haha

Gregonzola: That's no fun.

Shoo86: nice syd

sYdney rebik: I totally landed a ninety roll off a big ramp today tho! First time i've landed it, about 20 times attempted now

Gregonzola: Practice makes permanent.

Gregonzola: And broken bones.

sYdney rebik: Yup. Broke my elbow pretty bad last year in the halfpipe

sYdney rebik: In aspen. it was terrible.

Gregonzola: Nasty. I like my elbows.

Shoo86: damn syd -hic-

sYdney rebik: Broke it right on the funny bone. One break that cracked up in 3 different directions, the xray looked like the monster energy logo

Gregonzola: And yet, she boards.

sYdney rebik: But you know what they say, you don't need arms to board.

fantabulous: That could have been a small endorsement deal.

Shoo86: lol

sYdney rebik: hahaha

sYdney rebik: spent 3 months in a full arm cast with the elbow at 90 degrees. Couldn't straighten my arm fully until after 2 months of PT. goood times.

Shoo86: i hate the elbow casts

sYdney rebik: That happened last december, missed the whole rest of the boarding season :(

Shoo86: worst

sYdney rebik: It was my jackoff a-a-a-arm too. *brr!*

Gregonzola: Now that's a tragedy.

Shoo86: which arm is that?

sYdney rebik: right

Gregonzola: Also, Shoo would like a complete description of exactly how you do that.

Crimbo and the End of the Mayan Calendar

Imaginos: sooo what's the word? anything awesome for crimbo this year?

Everybody: I'm waiting on dicklasers!

Gregonzola: Really not a lot of awesome.

Gregonzola: Get the outfit, enjoy.

Imaginos: that smacks of effort, which inherently means I'll have nothing to do with it.

Imaginos: what about these do not open til crimbo packages?

Everybody: Same as before, IIRC.

Gregonzola: Shoo was going to buy lots of them and put 1 meat in each.

Imaginos: not even a cool end of Kingdom scenario? Now that doesn't happen everyday.

Imaginos: If they'd had thought that out they could have threatened everyone with reset for 21 days...that would have been a blast.

Everybody: Maybe they WILL shut the servers off forever. That'd be so cool.

Everybody: They should offer us a moment to throw our multis in a volcano to appease the Mayan gods.

Gregonzola: That would be awesome.

Imaginos: Yeah then Lerb could do a daily sacrifice for close to 2 years straight

Everybody: Our Mr. Store items, being blessed, would bubble back out.

Everybody: Or maybe the essences (names) would become masks you could wear. That would be pretty cool.

Everybody: And then we could put Miss Havisham on a bukkake merry-go-ground.

Gregonzola: Pooch, you really should write short stories.

Everybody: I should. Furrealz!

Boo Boo was a Top

Big Daddy Grimm: poor boo boo...

Big Daddy Grimm: the things he has to do when there are no picanic baskets...

Big Daddy Grimm: yogi is an abusive dominating top

Everybody: Yogi tries to be, but I think Booboo is actually topping from the bottom.

Big Daddy Grimm: now you got me picturing boo boo on top saying "who's your ranger?"

Everybody: While wearing a ranger hat and riding Yogi's face.

Gregonzola: Most clans would be content commenting on how hot Betty Rubble is. Not us. We're discussing Booboo as a top.

Big Daddy Grimm: "gimme that pic-a-bic basket boo boo..."

Big Daddy Grimm: most clans suck, thats why.

Everybody: Dunno, if Betty was riding Barney's face, her legs would basically remove him from view, in profile.

Everybody: She'd end up sucking his toes trying to 69 him.

Everybody: DID I JUST SAY THAT?!

Everybody: I am almost disturbed at myself.

Big Daddy Grimm: i think they made wilma always wear that pearl necklace as an inside joke

Miss Havisham: It's easy to get confused, with those big, burly caveman feet (yum)

Everybody: You know Wilma. She's a redhead.. but she's also VERY finicky about her hair.

Everybody: So you can guess that she isn't going to risk a facial.

Big Daddy Grimm: since they had a dinosaur for everything else, do you think they had one for swallowing purposes?

Everybody: Probably some sleazy relative of the elephant vacuum.

Big Daddy Grimm: you can see it wipe its mouth, shrug, and say, "hey, its a living"

We all have Dreams

Megaman_90: What the...One of the fans in my computer just started making a funny noise.

screechpowers: it's about to blow!

screechpowers: i dreamed one of my friends had a meerkat as a pet

Gregonzola: Sometimes they get off balance.

Gregonzola: Screech, that's awesome.

screechpowers: now i want a meerkat as a pet

Gregonzola: Move to Texas. You can keep anything in Texas.

screechpowers: done and done

Miss Havisham: I dreamed last weekend that I gave a glory hole blowjob to Satan.

Miss Havisham: The end result tasted like chocolate milk.

Miss Havisham: Since then, I have tried to avoid sleeping.

screechpowers: that is a unique dream

screechpowers: hahahaha

Gregonzola: 'spensive: [link] http://petside.co.uk/wellness/meerkats_-_the_lowdown_on_keeping_a_meerkat_as_a_pet.php

Megaman_90: You didn't just google that did you?

Megaman_90: lol

Gregonzola: Heck yeah. I google things.

Gregonzola: How did you know it was Satan?

Miss Havisham: Good question! At first I thought it was a KoLer and was hesitant, but then he popped his head down near the hole so I could see his instantly- recognizable features (obviously no mask at play)

Gregonzola: Well, that makes sense then.

Miss Havisham: Yes, except why does sleeping-Havi prefer blowing Satan to blowing KoLers?

Miss Havisham: Right, so, this has been Havi's Psychotherapy Session for today. Please tune in tomorrow.

screechpowers: haha dreams aren't supposed to make sense

Gregonzola: If you're going to get down and dirty, you might as well get down and dirty with the king of down and dirty.

screechpowers: the worst part is when a website starts showing up in your dream, you know you've maybe been on the internet too much

Miss Havisham: omg that's not quite what happened t me this morning, but almost

Miss Havisham: there was a billboard for a jumbo jack combo

Miss Havisham: i thought it said "Jumbo Jack Crimbo"

screechpowers: wow

screechpowers: you've got it bad! haha

Gregonzola: To be fair, Crimbo is more appealing than the Jumbo Jack Combo.

Everybody: Tell me this is a porno?

Miss Havisham: Jumbo Jick Crimbo

Miss Havisham: (it is now)

screechpowers: unrelated but still funny: one time i was in a car riding with my parents, sisters and granny and my granny was loudly bragging about how well she could still see, despite her age

Miss Havisham: it's a porno I'm gonna film this weekend. I bet I can get trubs on board

Everybody: But Trubs is so tiny.. she would like, die!

Everybody: Her poor little elftwat.

Gregonzola: Screech, uh, oh.

screechpowers: so she started reading road signs off as we passed them. "I can see perfectly! That sign says Merry Bananas!"

Miss Havisham: hahahaha

Gregonzola: Haha.

Miss Havisham: that would happen to me.

Everybody: Your elftwat would die?

screechpowers: so now my family all says Merry Bananas to each other!

Fanta's Eye Blew up and WTF did that dude say?

Carling: you could say you got glockoma -hic-

fantabulous: Optometrists generally only have drugs for sticking in your eyeball.

Leeverb: Glockoma is my next girlfriend's name

Gregonzola: Glockoma sounds like what you get after a long night at the range. -hic-

Carling: yeah i can't spell

Carling: the internet ruined me

fantabulous: You know. So you don't freak out from pain when you get a needle in your eyeball.

Leeverb: haha

Miss Havisham: I was Datong a teacher for a while. He had no drugs, goodor bad

Miss Havisham: datong, really? Fuck you, iPad.

ham Salad sAndWich: Datong teacher? you very fancy lady

Leeverb: I get Ruging cough

Carling: i need better access to drugs

Gregonzola: Ah, the ancient philosophy of Datong.

Gregonzola: Nice, Lee.

Miss Havisham: Next I intend to date a pothead.

Carling: we're good people, havish

Shoo86: not sure about other states

Miss Havisham: And so numerous as to be unavoidable, so I've just given in.

Shoo86: optomitrsts cant get you much in NY

Shoo86: only topical opthalmic shit

ham Salad sAndWich: Well at least she's hot. I'll have to get drugs elsewhere.

Gregonzola: Except they're going to pronounce your name Hashish instead of Havish.

Shoo86: dude, fuck the drgs

Shoo86: hot opt. sounds awesome

Miss Havisham: im tired of hot dudes and also drugs. What now? :(

Leeverb: you just THINK she's hot because she gave you the wrong glasses prescription

Leeverb: and you can't see her

Carling: HAHHAHA

Leeverb: That's how they fool you

Carling: that's so fucking great

Miss Havisham: Hey, that is a plan. Checking into optometry now

Carling: sounds like the plot to a lost seinfeld episode

Leeverb: heh -hic-

fantabulous: I might have glasses next month. I am kind of excited.

ham Salad sAndWich: The only part of me that she has examined is the inside of my mouth.

Leeverb: ...

baljinder: a2m?

Shoo86: what are you gonna fill them with, fanta?

ham Salad sAndWich: gin

Leeverb: I got glasses (again) like a year ago LOL OLD

fantabulous: I am confused by that question, shoo.

Gregonzola: I haven't bothered to go in for 4 years. I need to.

Leeverb: granted, I've worn them since I was a teenager but still

Gregonzola: Me, too.

Gregonzola: First pair at age 14. I was hawt.

ham Salad sAndWich: never had glasses

Carling: lerb -hic-

Carling: i need a new turntable

Carling: any suggestions?

Shoo86: fucking youtube

Gregonzola: And this is why Mantz can't keep the ladies off of him.

Shoo86: i cant find the clip i wan

Leeverb: haha, I need one too! I may even be getting on on Xmas if all goes well

Carling: word

Leeverb: The needle on mine is shot and waaaaay too expensive to replace

Shoo86: i dont need glasses yet

Shoo86: woo

Shoo86: im sure i will tho

Shoo86: both my parents have em

Gregonzola: Shoo, if you don't need glasses yet, then you'll likely only get a bit farsighted as you age.

Leeverb: nerd

Gregonzola: When your lens firms up a bit.

fantabulous: My eyesight has been pretty good until this year.

Gregonzola: That's normal.

Leeverb: yeah it's like that soft spot on your head

Gregonzola: (Being nearsighted actually grants you a bit of a reprieve from that as you age, though eventually it gets you.)

Shoo86: ahh, cool

fantabulous: Apparently having your eye blow up seems to degrade your vision.

Gregonzola: Lee, don't tell him that. I think it's funny Shoo wears that helmet.

Gregonzola: Fanta, your eye blew up? -hic-

Gregonzola: Where did drunk pooch go?

Gregonzola: I like drunk Pooch. -hic-

Gregonzola: And drunk May.

fantabulous: It was quite a while ago. Like March or April.

Gregonzola: I want to get Drunk Pooch, Drunk May, Drunk Ginos and Drunk Syd together in a room.

Shoo86: haha

Gregonzola: STORY TIME!

fantabulous: But. I woke up one day and had blood in my eye. A massive hemorrhage behind my retina.

Gregonzola: Oh, not good.

Shoo86: speakin of drunk

Carling: [link] http://i.imgur.com/ UNVu5.jpg

Shoo86: you might have drunk shoo here shortly

Gregonzola: Behind your retina is very scary.

Gregonzola: Sweet!

Shoo86: drunk shoo isnt any fun tho

fantabulous: Went to the ER, and they were all "Yeah, nothing we can do. Here's a referral to an ophthalmologist."

Gregonzola: Fanta, was this the result of a ragefapping incident?

Shoo86: i get too nice when i drink

Shoo86: i prefer being a jerk

Carling: sorry shoo but you're not a jerk -hic-

fantabulous: Then I went to the opthamologist and he was all "Yeah. Hemmorhage. Nothing I can do about it here. Here's a referral to a retinal specialist."

Gregonzola demands drunk Shoo

Gregonzola: Fanta, this story sounds like no fun.

Shoo86: haha

Shoo86: when are we having our clan bar night?

PizzaDaHutt: : / -hic-

fantabulous: Then I got my eyeball cut into or something and I've had ridiculous amounts of laser treatment afterwards.

Carling: i'm down

Carling: it seems like most of us are on the east coast -hic-

Gregonzola: Woah.

Carling: this shouldn't be so hard to set up

PizzaDaHutt: i'm up for it

Gregonzola: Did they tell you what caused the hemhorrage?

fantabulous: Yeah. Wasn't controlling my blood sugar, and hadn't been in to the opthamologist in years.

Shoo86: are you diabetic fanta?

fantabulous: Yes.

Gregonzola: Oh, dang. That's scary.

Leeverb: They make sugarless Fanta

Leeverb: like diet fanta

fantabulous: So. For the week or so I had blood in my eye, I had a Ramonocle.

Leeverb: that's awesome

Shoo86: haha fanta

Shoo86: about the 2nd part, not the first

baljinder: I am going to shower real quick, but I just want you guys to know

fantabulous: It wasn't actually all that cool. The center of my vision was completely blocked out.

baljinder: My poop I just had smelled exactly like the crab soup I had two nights ago

Did he really just say that?

Leeverb: Did you shake your fist at people and go, "HogAAAAN!"?

Gregonzola: For the first time in KoL, I think I may have just gotten TMI. -hic-

Leeverb: Actually yeah that is pretty scary, fanta

Shoo86: i agree with gergs

Shoo86: but not the first time

Shoo86: lol

fantabulous: I had some red tinted peripheral vision, though. The first time I tried driving at night, I thought a cop or ambulance was behind me whenever headlights would hit my rearview mirror.

Gregonzola: Wow. That would distract you.

Miss Havisham: That's scary!

Miss Havisham: Done with social workers til January. How should I celebrate?

fantabulous: Probably get drunk and pass out naked in the lawn.

Miss Havisham: This one brought an entire garbage bag of presents for all three kids, not just the foster kid.

Miss Havisham: I may just do that, only substitute "desert landscaping," which is to say "pebbles"

Havi will be picking pebbles out of her back for days.