Thursday, December 20, 2012

Of Fantasies and Disappointments


puCCini: Dear /Clan, my attempts to talk havi into a F-M-F 3some keep failing.
KrakMunky69: sucks to be you pooch
puCCini: The lack of sucking sucks.
Dear Penthouse: Pooch, tell us more about this problem you have with Havi.
Big Daddy Grimm: it blows
KrakMunky69: you need to be more convincing
Dear Penthouse: What have you tried?
Miss Havisham: That's not exactly accurate, dear. -hic-
Big Daddy Grimm: is there a romantic way of saying " I want to bang you like a screen door in a hurricane'?
Miss Havisham: Although you would find more success if you'd consent to M/M/F. I have a list of candidates for your perusal.
ham Salad sAndWich: my coworker said she would consider a 3some with the doctor last night. she was pretty drunk, though
KrakMunky69: fingercuffs
ham Salad sAndWich: she also said "i don't want to be into you... because I'm not!"
ham Salad sAndWich: it was pretty hilarious
puCCini: Havi, doll, you negotiate my temporary freedom without consequences. I'll get it done.
ham Salad sAndWich: totally busted admitting she has a crush on me by herself
Dear Penthouse: Best comeback: "But I'd really like to be into you."
ham Salad sAndWich: i was way too busy laughing my ass off for a comeback
Miss Havisham: Pooch, if anyone's in a position to do that, it might be me.
Miss Havisham: Of course, that's not saying much.
Dear Penthouse: What I'm gathering from the Havi/Pooch conversation is that both of them would like to be the center of attention in a threesome.
Miss Havisham: I'm gonna guess that surprises absolutely nobody
puCCini eh shrugs.
puCCini: I'm not much on being the center of things.
puCCini: I am a supporting role.
KrakMunky69: just go full on orgy, then everyone is happy
Dear Penthouse: Unless you mean Havi, then you're very much on being in the center of Havi. And another chick.
Miss Havisham: More is not necessarily better.
puCCini: Nah, 2 centers at once? That cannot happen.
puCCini: I am a very clear monotasker.
puCCini: There is only room for one vibe in my head at a time.
puCCini: I'm standing over earth with my scrotum gleaming in the morning light ...
puCCini: "THAT'S NO MOON"
Miss Havisham: ...i just overloaded on possible responses to vibes
Gregonzola: Vibrators should not be put in the ear.
Miss Havisham: oh, ew, I forgot. Men have scrotums. Next plan!
Dear Penthouse: Unless you're trying to loosen up some earwax.
KrakMunky69: pooch just negated himself from that ffm 3way
ham Salad sAndWich: haha one of my favorite things to say when I feel overworked is "I feel like the only pretty girl at the orgy"
puCCini: Nah, it's an F-F binary star system with an M satellite.
Miss Havisham: glad I don't know what that means -hic-
Miss Havisham: But if it means you primarily expect me to get it on with a girl, she better not have big boobs.
Dear Penthouse: Big boobs don't work for you, Havi?
Miss Havisham: No. I don't like boobs.
Gregonzola: Almost as bad as scrotums, huh?
puCCini uhhhms and just decides to stop sharing any more information before he hangs himself.
Miss Havisham: Hmm. Is the reason 'mone whitelisted me so someone would shut Pooch up from time to time?
Dear Penthouse: Pooch made speechless? This is a first.
Miss Havisham: No, it happened last night too.
Miss Havisham: Scrotums are the price of admission to dicks.
Gregonzola: We like Pooch's silliness.
Miss Havisham: Boobs just get in the way and there's no reward.
ham Salad sAndWich: i second the bullshit call
Miss Havisham: Me too, Greg. :( -hic-
puCCini: Havi, prove it. Have your breasts removed.
Gregonzola: Going to third the BS there. Boobs are worth it.
puCCini is not speechless, he is taking the 5th.
Miss Havisham: Pooch, if you fund the endeavor, I'll go for it.
puCCini: Hmms. If I pay for them, do I get to own them immediately?
Miss Havisham: I'm not sure the legality of ownership of medical waste
puCCini: I mean, can I parade you into chat and be like, "Ok guys, kiss 'em goodbye. ALLA YA, KISS EM."?
Miss Havisham: you can work that out with the surgeon/hospital
puCCini: They wouldn't be waste yet.
puCCini: Basically, the moment I enter the contract to take maintenance of them ...
puCCini: They become my property.
Miss Havisham: that depends on the terms of the contract.
screechpowers: morning guys
Gregonzola: Photographs before they're removed, please. Much like a flower, when beauty is about to die it should be immortalized photographically.
puCCini: Well, I certainly am not going to enter to a contract that lacks this clause.
Gregonzola: Merry Bananas, Screech.
ham Salad sAndWich: screeeeeech
screechpowers: hahaahaha
puCCini: Morning, Screechy. :)
puCCini: Photographs, hell, let's do some casts and molds.
Miss Havisham: Merry Bananas! -hic-
screechpowers: you guys are the best
ham Salad sAndWich: hey screech are you looking for a job in Boston today?
Miss Havisham: This is a lot of fuss for things I'm trying to get RID of
KrakMunky69: sup screech
screechpowers: haha maybe! i need to apply somewhere!
Gregonzola: Havi, you are wise enough to understand the importance of boobs to men.
ham Salad sAndWich: I'm going to start sending you craigslist posts
Gregonzola: We love them. Size isn't the key. It's the fact they're boobs. -hic-
Miss Havisham: You may not be wise enough to understand the unimportance of men to me.
Gregonzola: No, I've captured that. But if you're going to let Pooch have yours removed, it would be sad not to at least have some record of the undestroyed boobs.
puCCini: I think your son would be traumatized, Havi.
ham Salad sAndWich: greg is working the shit out of this angle :P
Miss Havisham: He... uh...
Miss Havisham: doesn't... um.
puCCini: He knows what it feels like to snuggle on his mama's lap.
Miss Havisham: I feel like there's no good answer to the question I want to ask: "Why does my son care about my boobs?"
puCCini: Radical changes in morphology might be upsetting.
Miss Havisham: Not that radical. They're just Bs.
puCCini: Not to mention your daughter.
Miss Havisham: Then we'd match!
puCCini: She'd starve herself for life to keep her breasts small.
Miss Havisham: I do not think anybody IN THE WORLD would notice.
Miss Havisham: except men who got me naked, who don't have to exist in the future.
Miss Havisham: um, maybe a doctor here and there. -hic-
ham Salad sAndWich: There would be a disturbance felt. Like a million tiny voices crying out at once.
KrakMunky69: trust me, any man that knows you would notice
Gregonzola: Mantz, haha.
puCCini: Certainly would destroy a few of MY showertime fantasies.
Miss Havisham: Drop the fantasies; get a friend and a handrail
puCCini: You're my friend, right?
Miss Havisham: Yeah but last night you told me to stay out of your shower :(
puCCini: I have two showers.
ham Salad sAndWich: regular and golden

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