Of Fantasies and Disappointments

puCCini: Dear /Clan, my attempts to talk havi into a F-M-F 3some keep failing.

KrakMunky69: sucks to be you pooch

puCCini: The lack of sucking sucks.

Dear Penthouse: Pooch, tell us more about this problem you have with Havi.

Big Daddy Grimm: it blows

KrakMunky69: you need to be more convincing

Dear Penthouse: What have you tried?

Miss Havisham: That's not exactly accurate, dear. -hic-

Big Daddy Grimm: is there a romantic way of saying " I want to bang you like a screen door in a hurricane'?

Miss Havisham: Although you would find more success if you'd consent to M/M/F. I have a list of candidates for your perusal.

ham Salad sAndWich: my coworker said she would consider a 3some with the doctor last night. she was pretty drunk, though

KrakMunky69: fingercuffs

ham Salad sAndWich: she also said "i don't want to be into you... because I'm not!"

ham Salad sAndWich: it was pretty hilarious

puCCini: Havi, doll, you negotiate my temporary freedom without consequences. I'll get it done.

ham Salad sAndWich: totally busted admitting she has a crush on me by herself

Dear Penthouse: Best comeback: "But I'd really like to be into you."

ham Salad sAndWich: i was way too busy laughing my ass off for a comeback

Miss Havisham: Pooch, if anyone's in a position to do that, it might be me.

Miss Havisham: Of course, that's not saying much.

Dear Penthouse: What I'm gathering from the Havi/Pooch conversation is that both of them would like to be the center of attention in a threesome.

Miss Havisham: I'm gonna guess that surprises absolutely nobody

puCCini eh shrugs.

puCCini: I'm not much on being the center of things.

puCCini: I am a supporting role.

KrakMunky69: just go full on orgy, then everyone is happy

Dear Penthouse: Unless you mean Havi, then you're very much on being in the center of Havi. And another chick.

Miss Havisham: More is not necessarily better.

puCCini: Nah, 2 centers at once? That cannot happen.

puCCini: I am a very clear monotasker.

puCCini: There is only room for one vibe in my head at a time.

puCCini: I'm standing over earth with my scrotum gleaming in the morning light ...

puCCini: "THAT'S NO MOON"

Miss Havisham: ...i just overloaded on possible responses to vibes

Gregonzola: Vibrators should not be put in the ear.

Miss Havisham: oh, ew, I forgot. Men have scrotums. Next plan!

Dear Penthouse: Unless you're trying to loosen up some earwax.

KrakMunky69: pooch just negated himself from that ffm 3way

ham Salad sAndWich: haha one of my favorite things to say when I feel overworked is "I feel like the only pretty girl at the orgy"

puCCini: Nah, it's an F-F binary star system with an M satellite.

ham Salad sAndWich: hot

Miss Havisham: glad I don't know what that means -hic-

Miss Havisham: But if it means you primarily expect me to get it on with a girl, she better not have big boobs.

Dear Penthouse: Big boobs don't work for you, Havi?

Miss Havisham: No. I don't like boobs.

Gregonzola: Almost as bad as scrotums, huh?

puCCini uhhhms and just decides to stop sharing any more information before he hangs himself.

Miss Havisham: Hmm. Is the reason 'mone whitelisted me so someone would shut Pooch up from time to time?

Dear Penthouse: Pooch made speechless? This is a first.

Miss Havisham: No, it happened last night too.

Miss Havisham: Scrotums are the price of admission to dicks.

Gregonzola: We like Pooch's silliness.

Miss Havisham: Boobs just get in the way and there's no reward.

KrakMunky69: lies

ham Salad sAndWich: i second the bullshit call

Miss Havisham: Me too, Greg. :( -hic-

puCCini: Havi, prove it. Have your breasts removed.

Gregonzola: Going to third the BS there. Boobs are worth it.

puCCini is not speechless, he is taking the 5th.

Miss Havisham: Pooch, if you fund the endeavor, I'll go for it.

ham Salad sAndWich: noooooo

puCCini: Hmms. If I pay for them, do I get to own them immediately?

Miss Havisham: I'm not sure the legality of ownership of medical waste

puCCini: I mean, can I parade you into chat and be like, "Ok guys, kiss 'em goodbye. ALLA YA, KISS EM."?

Miss Havisham: you can work that out with the surgeon/hospital

puCCini: They wouldn't be waste yet.

Miss Havisham: OH

puCCini: Basically, the moment I enter the contract to take maintenance of them ...

puCCini: They become my property.

Miss Havisham: that depends on the terms of the contract.

screechpowers: morning guys

Gregonzola: Photographs before they're removed, please. Much like a flower, when beauty is about to die it should be immortalized photographically.

puCCini: Well, I certainly am not going to enter to a contract that lacks this clause.

Gregonzola: Merry Bananas, Screech.

ham Salad sAndWich: screeeeeech

screechpowers: hahaahaha

puCCini: Morning, Screechy. :)

screechpowers: :D

puCCini: Photographs, hell, let's do some casts and molds.

Miss Havisham: Merry Bananas! -hic-

screechpowers: you guys are the best

ham Salad sAndWich: hey screech are you looking for a job in Boston today?

Miss Havisham: This is a lot of fuss for things I'm trying to get RID of

KrakMunky69: sup screech

screechpowers: haha maybe! i need to apply somewhere!

Gregonzola: Havi, you are wise enough to understand the importance of boobs to men.

ham Salad sAndWich: I'm going to start sending you craigslist posts

Gregonzola: We love them. Size isn't the key. It's the fact they're boobs. -hic-

Miss Havisham: You may not be wise enough to understand the unimportance of men to me.

Gregonzola: No, I've captured that. But if you're going to let Pooch have yours removed, it would be sad not to at least have some record of the undestroyed boobs.

puCCini: I think your son would be traumatized, Havi.

ham Salad sAndWich: greg is working the shit out of this angle :P

Miss Havisham: He... uh...

Miss Havisham: doesn't... um.

puCCini: He knows what it feels like to snuggle on his mama's lap.

Miss Havisham: I feel like there's no good answer to the question I want to ask: "Why does my son care about my boobs?"

puCCini: Radical changes in morphology might be upsetting.

Miss Havisham: Not that radical. They're just Bs.

puCCini: Not to mention your daughter.

Miss Havisham: Then we'd match!

puCCini: She'd starve herself for life to keep her breasts small.

Miss Havisham: I do not think anybody IN THE WORLD would notice.

Miss Havisham: except men who got me naked, who don't have to exist in the future.

Miss Havisham: um, maybe a doctor here and there. -hic-

ham Salad sAndWich: There would be a disturbance felt. Like a million tiny voices crying out at once.

KrakMunky69: trust me, any man that knows you would notice

Gregonzola: Mantz, haha.

puCCini: Certainly would destroy a few of MY showertime fantasies.

Miss Havisham: Drop the fantasies; get a friend and a handrail

puCCini: You're my friend, right?

Miss Havisham: Yeah but last night you told me to stay out of your shower :(

puCCini: I have two showers.

ham Salad sAndWich: regular and golden