Weinermobile

[09:48] Everybody: Still weirded out.
[09:48] Everybody: Coming out of a night shift at the library and there was the Weinermobile.
[09:48] Everybody: One of the top 5 surreal things.
[09:48] NataliaM: hah, that thing was like 3 blocks from my house the other day.
[09:49] Everybody: And of course, I did what anybody else who never sleeps, works graveyard, and is paranoid as fuck did.
[09:49] Everybody: I assumed it was either e hallucination or an ambush.
[09:49] NataliaM: i was doing the international gesture for honking the horn (right fist up, pull down) but to no avail
[09:49] Everybody: Went back INTO the library, carefully went out another door and kept looking over my shoulder the whole walk home.
[09:49] Everybody: HEHEHEH.
[09:49] Everybody would totally trick that thing out with a hydraulic soaker.
[09:50] NataliaM: some guy in a hotdog outfit jumps you from behind a bush. "How about a little of this mustard, fucker!"
[09:50] Everybody: Can you imagine? You're driving along, the Weinermobile pulls up behind you and just hoses down the back of your ride.
[09:50] Everybody: Oh MAN. If hotdogmidget tried to ambush me at that point, I woulda danced on his face in the middle of Fess st.
[09:50] NataliaM: haha, like that james bond game on the old colecovision. dropping relish instead of an oil slick
[09:50] NataliaM: haha, like that james bond game on the old colecovision. dropping relish instead of an oil slick
[09:50] Everybody: There was a Bond game for Colecovision? -hic-
[09:51] Everybody: That sounds so much better than "Smurfs: Rescue at Gargamel's Castle". 

Mow Town

[09:45] NataliaM: motown pucci back again. doin' a little east coast swing
[09:45] Everybody: And when I say "mow town", I mean shaving deez nuts.
[09:47] NataliaM: park the beef bus in tuna town

Sugarless Gummy Bears can be Dangerous

Here's the link to the review:  http://www.amazon.com/review/R3FTHSH0UNRHOH/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000EVQWKC&linkCode=&nodeID=&tag=

You don't like links?  Okay, here's the text:

Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

Breaking the Barrier

Piter's making it big

[07:42] Piter: gergs. I have an EP. Like a real rapper.
[07:43] Gregonzola: Saweet.
[07:43] Gregonzola: You're a real rapper!
[07:43] Gregonzola: Now you need to get Nicki Minaj to rap in the middle of one of your singles and you're golden.
[07:45] Piter: I think I'd rather swallow broken glass.
[07:45] Gregonzola: That would probably make your singing career a bit tougher.

Fanta's Impersonations

[13:24] fantabulous: Maybe I'll try that as my nametag at kolumbus.
[13:24] fantabulous: Not sure if I should go straight up for Cir Senam, or Cir Semen.
[13:25] fantabulous: Moody thought I was really Leeverb last year.
[13:27] Gregonzola: That is awesome. Fanta, you mimic other clannies like nobody's business.
[13:31] fantabulous: All I did was write "Leeverb #RAGE" on my nametag.
[13:33] Gregonzola: That'd do it. It's the Rage part that's distinctive.
[13:34] fantabulous: I didn't even talk about going to Bob Evans or Old Country Buffet or go "RAGE".
[13:36] Gregonzola: Glad you didn't go over the top.

Halloween Prep

The Wisdom of Kashieda

[12:24] kashieda: you asked Mantz "who you doin'?"
[12:25] kashieda: and he replied "yo momma"?
[12:31] Gregonzola: That's about how that exchange would go, yes.
[12:36] kashieda: thought so
[12:37] Gregonzola: You are wise.
[12:37] Gregonzola: I first noted this when you were hiding kegs and hookers from your wife.
[12:39] kashieda: i thought it better she didn't have to trip on them

We know where Mantz is

[12:05] Shoo86: yeah mantz has been MIA for a while
[12:05] Shoo86: except not really missing
[12:05] Everybody: Just "in action".
[12:05] Everybody: Which is kind of appropriate.
[12:05] Everybody: Brown chicken , brown cow.
[12:06] Shoo86: hmm
[12:06] Shoo86: we know where he is
[12:07] Gregonzola: Either working at the bar or banging a hot bar patron.
[12:07] Everybody: Or banging a drunk bar patron.
[12:07] kashieda: on the bar
[12:07] Everybody: Under the bar. Limbo!
[12:07] Everybody: Hey, Mantz, how low ... no wait, don't show us!

Hide and Seek

[10:07] miss havisham: hello /clan. does anyone know where i left my water bottle?
[10:07] miss havisham: i fear i may have taken it home on tuesday and not brought it back.
[10:09] Gregonzola: No sign of it in Sacramento.
[10:09] miss havisham: Damn.
[10:09] Gregonzola: I'm going to treat this as a reply all e-mail from one of our far flung offices.
[10:09] Everybody: No sign of it in Fanta's rear.
[10:09] miss havisham: i have the *lid*

Let's get this party started

[07:54] Gregonzola: Partay!
[07:54] Everybody: pantays! -hic-
[08:12] Gregonzola: I like Pooch's idea of a party better.
[08:12] Everybody: I do know parties.
[08:13] Gregonzola: And panties.

The Asshole War

[15:27] miss havisham: well, another perfect parent-teacher conferencein the books
[15:29] Gregonzola: Woohoo!
[15:29] miss havisham: :)
[15:30] fantabulous: I don't remember how any parent/teacher conferences went for me.
[15:31] miss havisham: i was always told "another perfect conference"
[15:31] miss havisham: so i gather they went a lot like my child's go.
[15:31] fantabulous: However. If I ever find myself with a child, I feel like I have to punch a teacher in the face at some point.
[15:31] fantabulous: Not every teacher.
[15:32] miss havisham: just one?
[15:32] miss havisham: i haven't wanted to facepunch any yet.
[15:32] miss havisham: i'm sure it's coming
[15:32] fantabulous: Possibly more than one.
[15:33] fantabulous: But at least one, as a "Things I have done as an adult" item.
[15:34] miss havisham: Ah. it's not on my list.
[15:36] miss havisham: well there was the one who told me that there was nothing she could do about the head lice epidemic
[15:36] fantabulous: I suppose I don't have to if no teachers deserve a face punch.
[15:36] miss havisham: despite my pointing out several things she could do
[15:37] miss havisham: i didn't facepunch her. i just told her that's fine, my kid would no longer bring a backpack or jacket to school since she wasn't allowed to keep them separately from other kids' stuff
[15:37] miss havisham: suddenly the rule disappeared
[15:37] miss havisham: seriously do not get into an asshole war with a woman who is sick of combing bugs out of her kid's hair
[15:38] miss havisham: i had an inexhaustible supply of asshole.

Clan Mart Door Greeter

[14:56] miss havisham: hello again!
[14:57] Gregonzola: Welcome back.
[14:57] miss havisham: thanks!
[14:57] Gregonzola: I'm here to make people feel welcome.
[14:57] Gregonzola: Really that's my only job.
[14:57] Everybody: Welcome to /Clan-mart?
[14:58] Gregonzola: Sure!
[14:58] miss havisham: what's on sale?
[14:58] Everybody: Your mom.
[14:58] miss havisham: Oh. I'll pass.
[14:59] Everybody: Sorry, no returns.

Shittin' on the Ritz

[13:10] Everybody: Being the tactile type, I momentarily taste shit whenever I think things like that.
[13:17] Gregonzola: I've never tasted shit yet. I try to avoid it. I know at some point some kid's going to flick some in my mouth or an animal will, but so far I've been lucky
[13:17] Gregonzola: So, I don't know how it tastes.
[13:18] Gregonzola: As an anosmic, I'd probably have an atypical experience anyway.
[13:18] Gregonzola: "Huh, this shit isn't so bad."
[13:18] jesabele: ew
[13:18] Gregonzola: It's only conjecture, Jesa dear. I haven't tried it.
[13:18] Everybody hands Grego some crackers and a butterknife.
[13:18] Gregonzola: Haha!
[13:19] fantabulous: Shittin on the ritz.
[13:19] fantabulous: Do do do do do do.

Canadian Mom Joke

Train Sex

[11:53] Gregonzola: [link] http:// blog.sfgate.com/ crime/2013/10/21/ man-acquitted-of- sex-with-bart-seat/
[11:53] Gregonzola: Huh. Who knew there was felony indecent exposure?
[11:54] miss havisham: that does seem indecent.
[11:54] Gregonzola: It's San Francisco. There is no indecent.
[11:54] kashieda: only in-can-decent
[11:54] Everybody: Christ, it's like your cultural was founded by a bunch of nazi prudes who were afraid of sex.
[11:55] miss havisham: I guess so, Greg, since he was acquitted.
[11:55] miss havisham: i didn't read the whole thing, though. maybe there was some reason.
[11:55] Gregonzola: I think that fucking a train seat in front of everyone is probably something we don't want to allow, if only to save public funds on semen clean up.
[11:56] Gregonzola: He was acquitted because it didn't rise to the definition of felony public indecency. They'd have had to prove he was seeking an audience.
[11:56] Gregonzola: He claimed he was simply seeking some private time with the train seat.
[11:56] kashieda: call in the navy
[11:56] kashieda: they can handle seamen
[11:56] Everybody: I expect if the culture weren't so sexually repressed, shit like this would happen MUCH less frequently.
[11:56] Gregonzola: In the Navy!
[11:57] Gregonzola: Pooch, he was smoking crack. I suspect repression wasn't the issue there.
[11:57] miss havisham: perhaps he was marking it so a weirdo didn't sit next to him

It's a Sale

[11:33] miss havisham: i'm not understanding this:


[11:33] Gregonzola: This is awesome.
[11:34] miss havisham: i keep giggling but... if called upon to do so, i would not be able to explain it.

Giant Boobies

[13:38] Everybody: Giant boobies are unwieldy and interfere with plow.
[13:39] Everybody: Though this might be a way to 'accidentally' smother someone.
[13:39] miss havisham: well, i imagine -- like most things -- giant boobies can have both positive and negative effects.
[13:39] Everybody: Unlike fisting.

Lars Winnerbäck and Francis Cabrel y Maná

We were talking music today and we agreed we do love simple, folksy songs.

Mom Thumper

[11:03] Everybody drinks a whiskey drink, drinks a vodka drink.
[11:12] kashieda: walla walla
[11:12] Grimmy Dusk: ding dong
[11:12] Gregonzola: Pooch is going to be pissing the night away.
[11:13] kashieda: them taters sure hit the spud
[11:13] kashieda: Everybode gets knocked down, up and sideways
[11:13] Gregonzola: I like the whore version. "I get knocked up, but I get down again!"
[11:14] kashieda: yaay
[11:14] Everybody: Pissing is so nice for the soul.
[11:14] Everybody: I fuck YOUR MOM. THEN I GET UP AGAIN.

Crap NataliaM Says

[11:15] NataliaM: exactly. marketing fuckstains. "Let's just see how many tech buzzwords we can cram in our audiences' assholes!"

Annuit cœptis

[14:20] fantabulous: I prefer video conferencing. I hold my phone up to my butt, my partner holds his phone in front of his penis.
[14:22] Everybody: Can your butt see his penis?
[14:23] miss havisham: The all-seeing anal eye
[14:23] Everybody: The browneye in the pyramid.

I love libraries

[11:32] Gregonzola: I love libraries. -hic-
[11:34] NataliaM: heh
[11:35] Gregonzola: I'm pretty sure with the internet, public libraries mostly exist now so that the homeless have a place to wash their junk, should they be so inclined.
[11:35] Gregonzola: "Huh. Junk's dirty again. Don't remember how that happened. Guess I'd better get to the library."
[11:35] NataliaM: yeah, that's one thing that makes me sad about the rise of the internet- libraries are a casualty
[11:36] NataliaM: that and for losers to download porn in public
[11:37] Shoo86: whats a library?
[11:38] NataliaM: it's a type of bathroom for the homeless.

I'd do that if I were a horse

[13:05] NataliaM: fuck that guy. also, it'd suck to be the headless horseman's dentist
[13:06] Everybody: Be kind of awesome. He could just leave his head there all the time.
[13:06] Gregonzola: Yep.
[13:06] Gregonzola: Easy access.
[13:06] NataliaM: no. he doesn't have it. that's why he's headLESS. he'd be headful if he still had it somewhere
[13:06] Gregonzola: Hey, Mafia. I'd love for my left pane to load since I'm playing now.
[13:07] Everybody: Who doesn't like to be headful?
[13:07] Gregonzola: When that man asks for head, he's not after the usual favor.
[13:07] Everybody: Why would you want John the Baptist's penis?
[13:07] NataliaM: his horse should fuck with him all the time. "yeah, we're going to the old covered bridge, not to the oats and hay"

Sweet Dreams

Pee and Jesa

[13:10] Everybody: Pee kills bacteria.
[13:11] Gregonzola: I think pee is actually just aseptic, not antiseptic, which is why UTIs can happen.
[13:11] Everybody: Ahh. You know, I expect whatever the active beastie is in UTIs is just more acid-resistant than most.
[13:11] Shoo86: and its not even really aseptic
[13:11] Shoo86: but yes, greg
[13:12] Everybody: So, I propose an experiment.
[13:12] Everybody: Someone get me a UTI culture.
[13:12] Everybody: I'm going to take 3 mason jars and fill them with fluids at different pHs.
[13:12] Everybody: I have a little magnetic stirring plate thingy, even! Woofun!
[13:12] Gregonzola: This sounds like a good time. I'm coming over. I'll bring Jesa.
[13:12] Everybody: We will need a temperature control.. I've got a few little home-mdae incubators.. never tried to get them up to bodytemp, but we'll see.
[13:13] Everybody: How about you just come over Jesa? That's a good time.
[13:13] Gregonzola: Okay, can do.
[13:13] Shoo86: whats the experiment exactly? lol
[13:13] Everybody: Oh, we're seeing what pH range the infectious agent in a UTI prefers.
[13:13] Gregonzola: Oh, Shoo's fancy. He wants you to formalize a hypothesis.
[13:13] Gregonzola: Good experiment. Let's do it.
[13:13] Everybody: This is really just an excuse to get Jesa and urine together.
[13:13] Everybody: (Shh!)

The only thing better

[12:15] Salad_Shooter: only thing better than boobs is a well fitting bra on the floor
[12:16] YellowToast: False
[12:16] YellowToast: a well endowed lady carrying a tray of assorted meats and beverages
[12:16] YellowToast: also bacon
[12:17] Salad_Shooter: lol i had tipsie bring me bacon it was glorious

Krokodil

[09:41] Piter: No thanks. I'd rather not take drugs made with gasoline
[09:42] Gregonzola: Wuss. -hic-

Of water bras and cosmopolitan penises

[14:24] fantabulous: I've never tried a water bra.
[14:24] Gregonzola: The ex wore them for comfort.
[14:25] Everybody: Your ex should wear ME for comfort.
[14:25] fantabulous: I don't see how having a grown man on my chest all day would be comfortable.
[14:26] fantabulous: It'd probably be great exercise, though.
[14:26] Everybody: Who said anything about wearing on the chest?
[14:27] fantabulous: I don't see how having a man sodomize me all day would be comfortable.
[14:28] Everybody: HEHEHEH.
[14:28] Everybody: That's the spirit :)
[14:29] miss havisham: and i was just picturing carrying pooch aorund on my shoulders.
[14:29] Everybody: Facing backwards.
[14:29] Everybody: How convenient. Then I can get my penis cleaned while I do housework.
[14:32] fantabulous: How dirty does your penis get in the course of a normal day?
[14:32] miss havisham: not very, in that posture.
[14:32] Everybody: Well, it sleeps on the couch, it has a shower... then it goes to the forest, goes to yoga.
[14:32] Everybody: You know, its quite cosmopolitan in nature.
[14:33] Everybody: It would get havi germs. Ew.
[14:33] miss havisham: Ew.

Pooch's Epiphany

[13:13] Everybody: Playing KoL is kind of like being in a 10-year D&S where you get to be the S.
[13:13] miss havisham: are you wearing it on your head?
[13:14] Everybody: No, it's that talking hat from Harry Potter.  I gave it something to shut it up.
[13:14] Everybody smacks and tells it to keep saying "Slytherin" repeatedly. I like the way that feels.
[13:15] Everybody: Whoa. I'm brilliant.
[13:15] Everybody: I just figured out how to introduce the latest generation to good head.
[13:15] Everybody: Feel how your tongue slides and presses up against the palate when you say that.
[13:16] Everybody: Most of them go for "Hufflepuff" but they're taking the 'blow' part literally.

Open Zipper Night

[11:50] Piter: so guys, I think I'm gonna try to perform at the Nerdapalooza open mic event :D
[11:50] Gregonzola: Where did Thom go? Is he on another drinking and masturbating binge?
[11:51] Gregonzola: Do it Piter!
[11:51] kashieda: Yay, Piter
[11:51] Everybody: DO IT, PITER!
[11:51] kashieda: what's your go? -hic-
[11:51] Big Daddy Grimm: since when are those two different things?
[11:51] Everybody tries to think of a liquor with a more generous opening size.
[11:51] Big Daddy Grimm: do it piter
[11:51] Piter: I think I will. I'm gonna do Kim Press B and then Dakka Slakka with my alloted time
[11:51] Piter: it'll be my first time on stage rapping
[11:52] Gregonzola: *fapping
[11:52] Everybody: Do a line of coke first. It will help.
[11:52] Everybody gives professional advice.
[11:52] RAMONE: no he's done that before
[11:52] Piter: Yeah, I got pulled on stage in Amsterdam once at a sex show
[11:52] Piter: got paid for that

Fish Tacos

[11:25] Gregonzola: I do love a good fish taco.
[11:25] jesabele: have not had one is a long time
[11:26] jesabele: in fact, the last time I had fish tacos I could only eat one...
[11:26] jesabele: I fail at life, obviously
[11:26] Everybody: I thought you were the drunk-receiving- bisexual only.
[11:27] Everybody: I didn't think you ate "fish tacos" at all?
[11:27] jesabele: I don't munch box, if that is what you are implying
[11:28] RAMONE: he was implying that you don't
[11:28] RAMONE: post pix to prove it
[11:30] jesabele: I am surprised there isn't a picture of me eating fish tacos
[11:31] Piter totally doesn't have that picture. Totally.
[11:34] Gregonzola: IIRC, Jesa does not eat box, and also isn't comfortable with other ladies eating her box.
[11:34] Gregonzola: So no pictures for you perverts.
[11:34] Piter: preverts
[11:35] Everybody: Trueverts.
[11:36] Gregonzola: They don't believe you, Jesa.
[11:36] RAMONE: pics anyway
[11:36] Gregonzola: Just link us a picture of your box. When they see there's no one munching it right now, they'll believe it.
[11:37] RAMONE: ^
[11:37] Gregonzola: She'll be back in a sec, guys. She's photographing her taco.
[11:39] Gregonzola: It's also important to preserve it for the historical record. "This is what Jesa's place looked like before the Great Gang Bang of New Year's Eve 2013."
[11:39] RAMONE: same as before last year's, same as after
[11:40] RAMONE: Anyone ever been to Rome?
[11:40] RAMONE: The ruins there come to mind
[11:40] Gregonzola: Heh.
[11:41] RAMONE: One majestic, now ancient, crumbling, pillaged over the years
[11:41] RAMONE: But still attracting thousands of sightseers a year
[11:41] Everybody: I'll take "Your Mother" for $1000, Trebeq.

Who's that trip trapping over my bridge?

[11:03] Everybody: So as I was out camping at the "haunted" cabin, there's a bridge about 20 feet shy of the back porch.
[11:04] Everybody: Invaders can't generally see the cabin because it's just so damned dark.
[11:04] Everybody: One of the dogs points out that someone's coming, so I sneak out the back door and around to the foot of the bridge.
[11:04] Everybody: One of the group declares jokingly, "I'm the bridge troll!"
[11:04] Everybody: And I correct him from the other side. "No, no you're not. That title is mine."
[11:04] Everybody: Flashlights all swivel.
[11:05] Everybody: Trollin' IRL, bitchez.

Sour like a what now?

[10:25] Gregonzola: Piter doesn't use buttplugs.
[10:25] Gregonzola: He's 12.
[10:25] Everybody: Size 12 or ...?
[10:26] Piter: You're a crabapple
[10:26] Everybody hands Piter his /clan homework.
[10:26] Piter: You're all crabapples
[10:27] Everybody: We're certainly sour.
[10:27] Everybody: Like a golden shower.

Piter is Fucking Superhuman

[13:36] RAMONE: s-s-s-stfu *brr!*
[13:36] fantabulous: How was dinner, Ramone?
[13:36] Everybody: Hah, Ramone got his dick stuck in Mrs. Frosty again.
[13:36] RAMONE: FUCK YOU FANBUTT
[13:37] RAMONE: E-E-Everybutty *brr!*
[13:37] RAMONE: Jesabutt
[13:37] Everybody turns it on "high" and "oscillate".
[13:37] Piter: Oldverb
[13:37] RAMONE: Go play Jeopardy
[13:38] Piter: I WILL
[13:38] Piter: and I'll clear both boards
[13:38] Piter: 'cause I'm a fuckin' superhuman, damn it

Eat Havi's Pie

[12:18] miss havisham: i just dropped a piece of pumpkin pie on my lap
[12:18] miss havisham: oh well. it's vacation.
[12:18] miss havisham: now my favorite fair of sweatpants is pie-stained, but again, vacation, so.... that evens out
[12:20] Big Daddy Grimm: date Piter then...
[12:20] Big Daddy Grimm: problem solved!
[12:20] Big Daddy Grimm: ya know...
[12:20] Big Daddy Grimm: piter piter pumpkin eater... -hic-
[12:21] miss havisham: lol
[12:22] miss havisham: i'll stick to dudes my age. isn't piter like 12?
[12:22] Gregonzola: This is where Pooch would make a clever pumpkin pie euphemism for vagina joke.
[12:22] Gregonzola: "I'll get in your sweatpants and eat your pumpkin pie."
[12:23] miss havisham: Oh, he covered that on the phone last night
[12:23] miss havisham: you're pretty on the mark, though. Good job playing Pooch.

Skeleboner

[14:21] Gregonzola: Skeleboner?
[14:21] miss havisham: it was a costume i saw at the halloween store by my place
[14:21] miss havisham: a skeleton with a penis bone. apparently it inflates.
[14:22] Gregonzola: Oh, how...um, clever?
[14:23] miss havisham: ...unexpected in a random aisle of a halloween store
[14:23] Everybody: SURPRISE HALLOWEEN BONER!

The Magical Vagina

[10:50] Gregonzola: [link] http:// www.tvguide.com/ News/Once-Upon-Time- Promo-Magic-Crotch- 1071764.aspx
[10:52] Gregonzola: Goodwin isn't a great choice for Snow White, honestly. Fairest in the land? Not with Meghan Ory around.
[10:54] Everybody: ONE PILL MAKSE YOU LARGER.
[10:54] miss havisham: it's a news story. i actually found the video elsewhere and it wasn't as interesting as it sounded like it might be.
[10:55] Everybody: And now we know the REAL story about Roger & Jessica Rabbit.
[10:55] Gregonzola: Havi, I think people get silly about vaginas.
[10:55] Gregonzola: They're just vaginas. -hic-
[10:56] Gregonzola: If they're not actually deployed in a sexy manner, they're only anatomy.
[10:56] miss havisham: be that as it may, it would be weird to have a rabbit disappear into one
[10:56] Everybody: Yup. Convenient places to store a fist.
[10:57] Gregonzola: Heh.
[10:57] Gregonzola: A fist or a rabbit evidently.
[10:57] miss havisham: depends on the fist.
[10:57] miss havisham: or the vagina, i guess.
[10:58] miss havisham: probably a combination of factors
[11:00] Everybody: Ambient temperature. Blood concentration of muscle relaxants.
[11:01] Gregonzola: If you've had kids, you can take a fist.
[11:02] miss havisham: Through a hole in my belly, sure
[11:02] Everybody: That's the way I see it.
[11:02] miss havisham: if there's a scalpel involved
[11:02] miss havisham: proper surgical techniques
[11:02] Everybody: Huh? There's not even cervical dilation issues to be concerned about.
[11:02] Everybody: This is just fisting. Stretching the entryway.
[11:02] miss havisham: I have never had a kid go out that way.
[11:03] Everybody: You don't need to. That's not the tricky part.
[11:03] Everybody: Christ, am I going to have to give a lecture on female anatomy here?
[11:03] miss havisham: ...no. that will not be necessary.
[11:03] miss havisham: i do not need to know the tricky part about fisting.
[11:03] Everybody: A HANDS-ON LABORATORY?
[11:03] miss havisham: unless it's "the tricky part is convincing the woman to go along with it"
[11:04] Everybody: The tricky part is really just keeping her relaxed. 
[11:04] Everybody: It goes pretty smoothly if you keep relaxed.
[11:04] Everybody: It's like buttsex in that regard.

Moms on the Side

[09:25] kashieda: mash potatoes, horseradish beef stew and a smoked porter on the side
[09:25] RAMONE: I have ur mom on the side
[09:26] kashieda: oh, tell her i said hi
[09:26] RAMONE: she said the same about you
[09:26] RAMONE: so, hi
[09:26] RAMONE: At least, I think that's what she said.
[09:27] kashieda: that she had my mom on the side
[09:27] RAMONE: Her mouth was full
[09:27] kashieda: that doesn't make any sense
[09:27] RAMONE: NO U

In the butt

[09:08] Gregonzola: So, last night we were helping friends move.
[09:08] Gregonzola: And we got on the topic of Thanksgiving dinner, because their new place had a double oven.
[09:09] Everybody: Dutch oven.
[09:09] Gregonzola: And one of them mentioned stuffing turkeys in the butt.
[09:09] Gregonzola: My wife comes out with, "We don't put it in the butt."
[09:09] Gregonzola: I started laughing and she turned red.

I finished Breaking Bad

[21:02] Gregonzola: Done. Wow. That was pretty epic.
[21:06] RAMONE: Did you take a dump?
[21:07] Gregonzola: I did, but that wasn't what I was talking about. The dump was mediocre at best.
[21:07] Gregonzola: Real disappointer.
[21:08] RAMONE: tomorrow is another day
[21:08] Gregonzola: I'll play Eye of the Tiger next time.

Pooch's Deadly Weapon

[10:40] zweitracht: Punctual companionship would be nice, but the NS will zap that.
[10:40] zweitracht: Just me and my reindeer, conspiring against every monster in the kingdom.
[10:41] zweitracht: I need a 0-attack to stall with now.
[10:41] zweitracht: Normally I'd say 'dictionary' but not in HC.
[10:51] Gregonzola: Kill them all, Pooch.
[10:51] Gregonzola: With your dicktionary.
[10:52] zweitracht: Then I have to register it as a deadly weapon.. and they have to take it away from me on planes.
[10:55] Gregonzola: Naw, they don't take the hands from karate experts. But you could ask a stewardess to hold it for you so it doesn't hurt anyone.
[10:56] zweitracht: OOO.
[10:56] zweitracht: Yes. With her mouth.
[11:18] zweitracht: I've got to imagine that getting blown in-flight by a stewardess is a risky affair.
[11:18] zweitracht: You know she's going to bite down if there's turbulence.
[11:18] zweitracht: Gods, I should've been a pilot.
[11:18] Tiny Plastic GrimmSpoon: its moor risky if it is the pilot doing it 

Havi's day today

Going Hardcore

[08:39] Everybody sings a penis song.
[08:39] Everybody: You know what I haven't done in forever? Hardcore. Here we go.
[08:47] Gregonzola: Woohoo!
[08:47] Gregonzola: No more Dread, you're HARDCORE!
[08:47] Everybody: PORNTIME.
[08:48] Gregonzola: Dicks with vampire teeth drawn on them, because it's Halloween time.
[08:48] Everybody: TRICK OR TREAT, kids!

Halloween Bliss

[08:04] Grimmy Dusk: candy corn M&Ms are sooooo frikkin awesome!!!
[08:09] MafOOsalah: I've never seen those... uhoh.
[08:10] Grimmy: white chocolate only here for halloween...
[08:10] Grimmy: pure bliss
[08:10] MafOOsalah: I wanna dip my balls in it?

We don't really clean up for company

[15:40] Shoo86: im recruiting help for dread
[15:40] Shoo86: so heads up theres gonna be visitors
[15:41] Gregonzola: Roger that, we'll stop talking about dicks.
[15:41] fantabulous: I certainly will not.