That Special Something

Pa amb Tomaquet: Is everyone done masturbating to that picture yet, so I can take it down?

Everybody: You can take it down, it's still in their browsers.

Shoo86: lol

Gregonzola: Yup, I'm good.

Everybody: You gave us 30 seconds, right? Should be all it takes.

Pa amb Tomaquet: I think I gave you five minutes.

Gregonzola: Plenty of time, then, unless someone's really into romancing his hand.

Gregonzola: Finding the perfect hand puppet dress.

Gregonzola: Getting the lighting just right.

Everybody: Putting the lipstick on it that tingles.

Gregonzola: Making that special dinner to set the mood.

Gregonzola makes a note to ask about that lipstick thing

Shoo86: lol

Pa amb Tomaquet: I don't need the tingling lipstick; my lips are already large enough.

Everybody: Whoa, TMI.

Gregonzola: In which clan is that TMI? Not this one.

Pa amb Tomaquet: Pooch, on my FACE?

Everybody: I thought you'd never ask!

Shoo86: hahaha

Purse Candy

Gregonzola: Screech, how's funemployment going?

screechpowers: i'm eating purse candy right now and watching first wives club on netflix

screechpowers: these are the best days of my life

Ramone: If I had candy in my purse (which I might, I should check), I would watch Zardoz

Ramone: or Barbarella

screechpowers: zardoz you say?

Ramone: Dude Krak, come to NH with me some time (mantz said he would too)

screechpowers: hahahahhaha

screechpowers: oh my gosh

screechpowers: how did i not know zardoz existed?!

KrakMunky69: .....why are you trying to lure me to the wilderness

KrakMunky69: oh screech it's pure insanity

Ramone: My friend has on of the prop heads they used in Zardoz. But more importantly, going there involves gigantic amounts of any substance you want

screechpowers: i love pure insanity!

KrakMunky69: waaaaay better while stoned

Ramone: It's in the woods and you can go mental

Ramone: So we get drunk and take the Zardoz head fishing

Getting one's B.S.

ham Salad sAndWich: I'm an stfu alumnus

sYdney rebik: What did you study?

ham Salad sAndWich: gtfoing, mostly

ham Salad sAndWich: some brb and bbiab

Thievery

[21:03] ham Salad sAndWich: channel /clan is the only place that I'm not filled with murderous rage, I guess that's by device, though.
[21:03] ham Salad sAndWich: also hi
[21:03] Gregonzola: Huh. Who came up with RAGE first? Mantz or Lee?
[21:04] Gregonzola: Or was it simultaneous?
[21:04] ham Salad sAndWich: it was a collaberation  
[21:04] ham Salad sAndWich: Leeverb is a notorious joke thief but he wields them so well that nobody ever gets mad about it.
[21:04] Gregonzola: It's important to be comfortable with one's skill set.
[21:05] ham Salad sAndWich: It's like when a Shaolin monk steals your umbrella and does some sick flip slash tricks.
[21:05] Shoo86: mantz i think i have january off too
[21:05] KrakMunky69: that happen to you often?
[21:05] Shoo86: how crazy is that?
[21:05] ham Salad sAndWich: haha i hate you so much right now
[21:06] Shoo86: also i was thinking about it early
[21:06] Shoo86: and our jobs are extremely similar
[21:06] Shoo86: on our feet all day
[21:06] Shoo86: we deal with people, both nice and assholes
[21:06] Shoo86: we mix stuff (you more than me)
[21:07] Shoo86: and we both get to decide who to serve and who to turn away 

Pooch's World

Puccini: What? Everyone's into everything.

Miss Havisham: Pooch, I told you not every woman is kinky.

Puccini: Yes they are.

Miss Havisham: No, just women crazy enough to spend more than half an hour talking to you.

Best Birthday Ever

Miss Havisham: My friend had been on 3 dates with a guy and thought maybe she would keep him around for a while, so she invited him to her big birthday dinner. He brought a gift and didn't tell her to open it later

Miss Havisham: so she opened it with the others.

Lena Linguine: it was a dildo?

Miss Havisham: and it contained anal training rods that were, like, massive -hic-

KrakMunky69: ..........LOL

Miss Havisham: there were children and family members present.

Lena Linguine: oh, I was close.

Miss Havisham: and he was like "so maybe we can try these out later tonight"

Miss Havisham: and she was like "Um, maybe you should go home"

Miss Havisham: they hadn't even had sex yet.

Astaeroth: I hope someone took pictures of her reaction. -hic-

KrakMunky69: hahaha that makes it so much better

Miss Havisham: worst. WORST GIFT. Every time I don't know what to get someone for a gift-giving occasion -hic-

Miss Havisham: I always think "at least I won't get them anal training rods"

Band Camp

Dear Penthouse: Lee likes it in the cage.

Ria: ooooooh, male cage dancer!

Ramone: that's racist

Dear Penthouse: Yup. Dance, boy, dance.

Ramone: This one time

Ramone: at band camp

Ramone: there was a drunk teenager in a cage on the side of the stage

Dear Penthouse: Story!

Ramone: and she moved the cage around because she was so spastic

Ramone: and it fell on the soundman's head and knocked him unconscious

Ramone: that was right in Greg's back yard. Well close, anyway. I think

Ramone: Is Stockton close?

Gregonzola: It is. It's the armpit of California.

Shoo86: lol

Ramone: indeed

Ramone: We were in a convention center or something and earlier that day they had some sort of farmer's convention and there were still chicken feathers floating around

Ramone: good times

Ramone: anyway the soundman was revived and actually went back and finished his job

Gregonzola: [link] http://www.forbes.com/2011/02/02/stockton-miami-cleveland-business-washington-miserable-cities.html

Gregonzola: Stockton was rated America's Most Miserable city in 2011.

Ramone: haha

Ramone: Bakersfield is dismal too. They should have a contest for who is the dreariest