It's a matter of taste

[11:04] jesabele: my taste in men has changed drastically
[11:04] Everybody: As how men taste in you changed?

I'm like that in IM, too

This didn't happen in /clan, but it could have.

Researchers Build Dissolving Tech That Will Self-Destruct In Water, Reducing Waste
me:  I don't want my electronics to dissolve in water.

Otherguy:  Yah, don't sweat it, or your phone dissolves

And if you drop your phone in the toilet, oh well

Forget the old rice trick

me:  It's a truly stupid idea.  From truly stupid people.

Otherguy:  Of course, you could do this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq0bha101AQ

But that would defeat the purpose

me:  I like that.  Why don't we coat our electronics?

Otherguy:  Chemicals?

me:  Chemicals schmemicals.  I want to be able to pee on my phone without ill effect.

Otherguy:  Pretty sure that'll never happen

me:  Dream big.

 

Raspoontang

[19:56] PizzaDaHutt: hello
[19:56] Leeverb: no
[19:57] Everybody: Zza Da Hu! OO LA TEC! -hic-
[19:57] Shoo86: hey zada -hic-
[19:57] MISS HAVISHAM: hi za
[19:57] PizzaDaHutt: whats new?
[19:57] Everybody: "Gua-aaards! Castrate him."
[19:57] Shoo86: i visited a clan that misses you apparently
[19:58] Everybody: I hope it was Lace vixens.
[19:58] Gregonzola: Zadultepec?
[19:58] Shoo86: lol
[19:59] Everybody: There is no Popocatepetl, there is only Zooltepec.
[19:59] PizzaDaHutt: yall had a break from me
[19:59] Shoo86: yes, zada
[20:00] Gregonzola: We didn't want a break, and you missed being cast in Pooch's porn film because you were away.
[20:00] Gregonzola bets you're really sorry for leaving us
[20:00] fantabulous: If it makes you feel better, I wasn't cast either.
[20:00] Gregonzola: Yet.
[20:00] Gregonzola: Want to be Rasputin?
[20:00] Everybody: Nobody's claimed the role of Raspoontang, the rapacious rogue that pursues Anustasia.
[20:00] PizzaDaHutt: can i at least get a porn name?
[20:01] Shoo86: pizzadaslutt

Dik D'Amaj, the Man, the Legend

[19:06] MISS HAVISHAM: Dik
[19:06] MISS HAVISHAM: i think it looks more interesting that way.
[19:06] Gregonzola: Dikdik.
[19:07] fantabulous: I missed this whole dick damaj thing.
[19:08] Gregonzola: Dik Damaj.
[19:08] MISS HAVISHAM: Dik D'Amaj
[19:08] MISS HAVISHAM: Dikk?
[19:09] Everybody: His penis can be nicknamed 'The Boston Strangler'.
[19:09] Everybody: Strangles from the inside, of course.
[19:09] Everybody: The 'Chusetts Choker?
[19:10] Everybody: Beantown Airblock? 
[19:13] Gregonzola: Brings new meaning to choking the chicken.
[19:17] Everybody: This chicken.. DOES THE CHOKING.
[19:17] Everybody: Boston Strangler 2: The Chicken's Revenge. 

Getting the Cast Set

[13:50] Everybody: Oh hey, havi, I remember that you mentioned you spoke some Russian. Would you like to be in our film?
[13:50] MISS HAVISHAM: Hmm, are we still filming porno or was that just for the morning?
[13:50] Everybody: DO WE EVER STOP FILMING PORNO?
[13:50] Everybody: You probably don't want to be Anustasia, but how about one of her Hand(job)maidens?
[13:51] MISS HAVISHAM: Can I keep my clothes on and/or wear some kind of blinders so i never actually have to see a dick
[13:51] MISS HAVISHAM: i'm allergic to semen, you know. just ask greg.    
[13:54] Everybody: A fluffer with fancy long lady gloves? I think I can write that in.
[13:54] MISS HAVISHAM: yep, that works for me    

Having her your way

[10:18] Everybody: You know the "wake up to the King" commercial?
[10:18] Everybody: Kielbasa breakfast sandwich time.
[10:19] Everybody: It would score megahits on free porn sites, at least.
[10:19] Everybody: The female lead needs a nightie that says "Have me YOUR way."
[10:19] Everybody: I guess it can be no-penetration, really.
[10:20] Everybody: Just a firm grip on a breakfast kielbasa and an anticipatory smile.
[10:20] MISS HAVISHAM: Pooch, you have the soul of a dirty, dirty poet
[10:21] Everybody: Crap;. I closed KoL instead of the BurgerKingPorn tab.
[10:22] Gregonzola: I think the best commercial would involve actual penetration.
[10:23] Everybody: Maybe two releases then. The abridged form, and the unabridged after-midnight version.
[10:23] Everybody: Or play the teaser for the first week.
[10:24] Everybody: oo, and alternate endings!
[10:24] Gregonzola: People love those.
[10:24] Gregonzola: Will it go on the face, back or belly?
[10:24] Gregonzola: YOU JUST DON'T KNOW!
[10:24] Everybody: One that involves a squirt of mustard, maybe some spooning of relish.
[10:24] MISS HAVISHAM: WATCH TO FIND OUT
[10:25] Everybody: One where she looks at the camera and mouths "having it MY way" and she knocks him on his back and gets on top.
[10:25] Gregonzola: I get knocked down, but I get it up again.
[10:26] Everybody: And of course, the terrible ending where she clacks her teeth together and then gives the King a piercing gaze, then she leans forward and the video cuts.
[10:26] MISS HAVISHAM: i actually kinda like that ending
[10:26] Everybody: You can cut to a spray of ketchup on the wall for that one?
[10:27] Everybody: It would be a popular ending.
[10:27] Everybody: Dick damage draws all types.
[10:28] Everybody: Also, "Dick Damage" is now Mantz's porn star name.
[10:31] Everybody: And he needs "D. D." embroidered on his jacket.    

Hostess Should Hire Pooch

[09:47] Gregonzola: [link] http:// www.washingtonpost.c om/lifestyle/food/ twinkies-may-be- smaller-than-many- remember/2013/07/15/ a4c374be-ed60-11e2- bb32- 725c8351a69e_story.h tml
[09:47] Gregonzola: They're going to nerf our Twinkies.
[09:47] Everybody: The first one always seems bigger.
[09:47] MISS HAVISHAM: hahaha how many twinkies-related news stories have we had in /clan in the last few months
[09:47] Everybody: You never forget your first.
[09:47] MISS HAVISHAM: i feel like too many! let me see this one.
[09:48] MISS HAVISHAM: heya, pooch :)
[09:48] Everybody: Morning, Havamster.
[09:48] Everybody puts her in a little wheel and watches her run around.
[09:49] Gregonzola: It is only 135 calories per twinkie, though.
[09:49] Gregonzola: If I had any interest in them, this would be a good number.
[09:49] Everybody: So, what's the official date on KoLcon?
[09:49] MISS HAVISHAM: ...looking on fb, hold on
[09:49] Everybody: Be less calories if I provided the filling. -hic-