Doesn't everyone?

[09:43] jon diaz imagines greg with a titanium bear cub strapped to his crotch

Context might help.

[09:39] xTyrx kicks Gregonzola in the nards to keep up the chaos level
[09:39] Gregonzola: I wear a titanium cub, Tyr. -hic-
[09:39] Gregonzola: My last clan trained me well.
[09:39] Gregonzola: er, cup.
[09:39] Gregonzola: They trained me well, except for spelling.
[09:39] xTyrx: Cub eh?
[09:40] xTyrx notices a growling sound coming from gregonzolas pants region
[09:40] xTyrx dumps a bucket of ice water on Gregonzola
[09:40] Gregonzola: That's right. The lion cub will bite you if you try for the nards.
[09:41] Gregonzola shivers
[09:42] Gregonzola: Thanks, Tyr. Now the cub is uncomfortable and my nipples could cut glass.
[09:42] xTyrx offers Gregonzola a sheet of glass
[09:43] Gregonzola cuts it with his nipples
[09:43] jon diaz imagines greg with a titanium bear cub strapped to his crotch
[09:43] jon diaz: i think you want to swap that out with a wolverine for maximum efficacy
[09:43] Gregonzola: Jon, that's a good idea.
[09:43] Gregonzola straps on a titanium wolverine cub
[09:43] xTyrx: Honey badger
[09:43] xTyrx: Or a Tasmanian Devil
[09:44] Gregonzola: Honey badger might eat my naughty bits as a snack.
[09:44] Gregonzola: Nobody wants that.
[09:44] jon diaz: lol
[09:44] xTyrx: Gregonzola the man with the Nards made of Bear cubs
[09:44] jon diaz: that's why you have to use the Sontaran battle strategy.
[09:44] jon diaz: just keep thrusting your crotch at enemies so he doesn't have time to become interested in yours
[09:44] Gregonzola: Good idea.
[09:45] Gregonzola: And maybe feed him well.
[09:45] jon diaz: on the blood of your enemies
[09:45] xTyrx: and remember always keep some raw meat on you to feed him if you have no enemies near by
[09:46] xTyrx: some guy named steve and his robotic Turtle in his pants
[09:46] Gregonzola: Steve is the minecraft guy.
[09:46] Gregonzola: He's kind of a blockhead. A real square.
[09:46] Gregonzola: I'm here all week.
[09:47] xTyrx: gregonzola is the lover across games there isn't a game character he can't seduce except Bowser
[09:47] Gregonzola: If you're challenging me I might be able to seduce Bowser.
[09:47] Gregonzola: I have some talents in that area. Not to toot my own horn.
[09:48] xTyrx: Goood luck
[09:48] jon diaz: don't toot your own horn in public
[09:48] jon diaz: it's rude
[09:49] jon diaz: also it would probably attract the attention of the wolverine cub
[09:49] xTyrx: Gregonzola is so manly he can seduce dinosaurs O.O
[09:49] xTyrx: is there anything he can't bang?
[09:49] Gregonzola: There is not.
[09:50] Gregonzola: I may not be good at much, but I can seduce dinosaurs and marine mammals.
[09:50] xTyrx throws a flaming dolphin at Gregonzola
[09:51] Gregonzola: Burning love is the best love. 
[09:59] jon diaz: if your love is burning, you did something wrong
[09:59] jon diaz: go see a doctor 

Of Cabbages and Kings

[08:44] Calvsie: so only six items made from palm fronds?
[08:45] Calvsie: um...
[08:45] Calvsie: I'm a palm treee...
[08:46] Jesara: congrats
[08:46] NTrege logged on.
[08:46] xTyrx sets calvsie on fire
[08:46] NTrege: okay calvsie can you quit bothering me now I logged on :P
[08:47] NTrege stares as calvsie burns...
[08:47] Calvsie: AGH!!!!! FIRE FIRE!
[08:47] NTrege: did I miss something?
[08:47] xTyrx: er sorry I thought you were a palm tree
[08:48] Calvsie: check my profile N
[08:48] NTrege: why are you a tree?
[08:48] Calvsie: why aren't you one?
[08:48] Gregonzola: I thought he was king of the cabbages.
[08:49] xTyrx: I thought cabbages grew on palm trees ?
[08:49] Gregonzola: Of course they do.
[08:49] NTrege: he is always declaring him self king of the calvsies
[08:51] Calvsie: only because I am

Stand back, we're professionals

AlbinoPanther: feeling sick again (not related to conversation)

Betafly: oh no :(

Betafly hugs ap

xTyrx hides the syringe he just injected AP with

AlbinoPanther: i would have puked on you if you did that IRL

Gregonzola: Oh, no. AP is our clan father hen.

Gregonzola: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

AlbinoPanther is the great white cat, doesn't know what you're talking about

Gun_Mage: greg, take him into a back room and "nurse" him back to health

xTyrx: erm I am the doctor >.> thank you very much

Gregonzola: Tyr, can we save the patient?

xTyrx: Nurse I will need 900 CC's of adrenaline

xTyrx: I doubt it Greg but we will try

Gun_Mage hands xtyrx 900 CCs of adrenaline >.>

xTyrx: Oh and 200 CC's of Morphine

xTyrx gives AP 900CC's of adrenaline

Gregonzola is pretty sure 900 CCs of adrenaline will make your heart explode out your nose

Gun_Mage accidenally trips and punctures xtyrx with 200 CCs of morphine

xTyrx: No he is a Cat remember

AlbinoPanther: @______@

xTyrx: his heart is bigger he can probably surivie

xTyrx: survive

xTyrx: He has a 6% chance of making it

AlbinoPanther screams

xTyrx hits AP in the head with a frying pan

Gun_Mage: 6%? those are good odds

Gun_Mage: DO IT

AlbinoPanther eats the frying pan

xTyrx: oops looks like the patient isn't going to make it

xTyrx: GM just wheel him around back and take care of him

AlbinoPanther urinates all over the clan hall and crawls on the ceiling

xTyrx gives Gm a S'more gun to take care of AP

AlbinoPanther gibbers more incoherently than usual

xTyrx: Now if you will excuse me I have 200CC of Morphine going through my body I am about to be in heaven more or less

Gun_Mage straps albino down into a wheelchair and pushes him into the swimming pool

Gun_Mage walks away whistling

Gun_Mage: ok xtyrx, hes taken care of

AmandaMay pees in the pool

xTyrx wanders around while on an Opiod high

AlbinoPanther floats to the top

xTyrx: Good Job nurse Gun_mage

xTyrx: make sure to hide the body we don''t need to get sued for malpractice problems

AlbinoPanther wonders why he is getting more yellow water poured on him :c

Gun_Mage nods and giggles

Betafly: um

Betafly: why is there yellow water in chat?

Gun_Mage: >.>

AlbinoPanther: "AmandaMay pees in the pool"

xTyrx: we had enough of that last time we operated on that one patient

AlbinoPanther :C

AlbinoPanther glares at GM and xtyrx

xTyrx: I removed his heart but apparently I was supposed to remove his appendix

xTyrx: Fortunately he died before charges could be pressed

Betafly pees on everyone's shoes

Gun_Mage wonders what xtyrx is on

xTyrx: Morphine of course

Gregonzola: 200 CCs of morphine.

xTyrx: its your fault you know

Gregonzola: It's like you don't even listen.

Fur can make tasers ineffective, you see

[20:16] xTyrx: I am smart enough NOT to tase a man eating cat

Saving Oliver Sudden

[10:17] Oliver Sudden: Apparently my doctor is trying to kill me
[10:17] Oliver Sudden: When I went to pick up medication from the pharmacy, the pharmacist was pretty adamant that I shouldn't be taking it with another one I take. She had to call the doctor to make sure. :O
[10:18] xTyrx plots to kill Oliver's doctor to save the Epic Scotsman
[10:18] Gun_Mage: oh my
[10:19] xTyrx begins building a bomb out of dryer lint and bleach
[10:20] xTyrx searches his belly button for more lint
[10:21] xTyrx can't find enough so he searches GM's belly button too [10:22] Gregonzola donates
[10:24] xTyrx begins building the C4 out of lint and baking soda
[10:24] Oliver Sudden: What happened to the bleach?
[10:25] xTyrx: Its goes to the dentonater
[10:25] xTyrx: OBVIOUSLY
[10:25] Oliver Sudden: Oh!
[10:25] xTyrx would expect EVERYONE to know how to make c4 out of Lint and bleach and baking soda
[10:25] Oliver Sudden: Sorry, I'm not very up-to-date on bomb-making.
[10:27] xTyrx feels sad for oliver

The Paleo Diet and Jabba the Hut

[10:07] Gun_Mage: oliver, Im on the paleo diet
[10:07] Gun_Mage: more like lifestyle
[10:07] Gregonzola: Oh, my bad. He does eat squirrels.
[10:08] xTyrx: and the occasional dead human
[10:08] Oliver Sudden: As in, eating what our ancestors would have eaten?
[10:08] Gregonzola: GM, paleolithic man probably still clubbed women over the heads. I believe we've just solved your marriage problem.
[10:08] Oliver Sudden: Yeah, we've evolved quite a bit from those days.
[10:09] xTyrx: Clubs are to messy you would be better off with a sharp stick
[10:09] Gun_Mage: basically
[10:09] Gun_Mage: this is how you can sum up my diet
[10:09] Gun_Mage: I am grain and dairy free
[10:09] Gun_Mage: and I eat protein, and veggies, and SOME fruit
[10:09] Gun_Mage: thats basically it
[10:09] Oliver Sudden: Why only some fruit?
[10:09] Gregonzola: Oliver, his wife needs a clubbing. It's not something I'd say lightly, as I don't believe in violence against women.
[10:09] Gregonzola: It turns out he married Jabba the Hut.
[10:09] Gun_Mage: heh
[10:10] Oliver Sudden: Gosh Greg.
[10:10] Gun_Mage: yep =(
[10:10] Gregonzola: I'm okay with violence against Jabba.
[10:10] Gun_Mage: lol
[10:10] Viral_Effigy: Ohhh ho ho usa do hajva wo Greg
[10:10] Gun_Mage: at least she LETS me still diet
[10:10] Gun_Mage: but she gets mad at me when girls notice me =P
[10:11] Big Daddy Grimm: what about when guys check you out?
[10:11] Gun_Mage: lol
[10:11] xTyrx: I was just about to ask that
[10:11] Gun_Mage: olivers the only guy who checks me out, and she doesnt know him =P

Mr. Obama and the Potty

[10:09] Calvsie: I wonder if Obama plays KOL...
[10:09] Dizthebear: What if I'm Obama?
[10:10] Oliver Sudden: Diz is Obama?
[10:11] xTyrx: tsk tsk Mr. President you need to learn how to use the toliet ;)
[10:11] Dizthebear: Well I uh...  Obamacare for everyone. 

Japanese is the Real Language of Love

[20:56] Baron Ultima: where are jon's pants?
[20:56] jon diaz: i accidentally so hard i lost them
[20:57] Gregonzola: Donde estan los pantalones de Jon?
[20:57] Gregonzola: That's the Spanish translation. I don't know it in German.
[20:57] xTyrx: Jon doesn't wear pants
[20:58] xTyrx: Ich meine Hose verloren I think is German not 100%
[20:58] Gregonzola: I like it. Close as we're going to come.
[20:59] jon diaz: Ich habe meine Hosen verloren
[20:59] Gregonzola: Nice.
[20:59] Baron Ultima: yeah
[20:59] jon diaz: helping verb
[21:00] jon diaz: conversational past tense, you add haben or sometimes sein to it
[21:00] jon diaz: future tense, you add werden
[21:01] jon diaz: Ich verlore meine Hosen
[21:01] jon diaz: Ich habe meine Hosen verloren
[21:01] jon diaz: Ich werde meine Hosen verloren
[21:02] jon diaz: then you get into the fun stuff like narrative past tense and theoretical tense
[21:02] jon diaz: saying "I would lose my pants" gets crazy
[21:03] Gregonzola: No let's say you're at a bar.
[21:03] Gregonzola: And you're hitting on some hot frau.
[21:03] Gregonzola: What is, "I'd like to take your pants off with my teeth"?
[21:03] jon diaz: hmm
[21:04] jon diaz: Ich will deine Hosen ausgenenimmt?
[21:04] Gregonzola: I like it. I'm going to Germany!
[21:05] jon diaz: mit meine Ze:hne
[21:05] jon diaz: Ich will deine Hosen mit meine Za:hne ausgenenimmt
[21:05] jon diaz: because if you're saying that, why not address them informally ;)
[21:06] Gregonzola: Good point.
[21:06] jon diaz: "If you don't mind, I would be much obliged if you'd kindly let me remove your pants with my teeth"
[21:07] jon diaz: I'm sure you could communicate that in Japanese in about 7 words

That's a first

[13:32] Hexatomb: TYR MADE ME EXPLODE IN MY PANTS!

The Palindrome

[13:22] xTyrx: WOW what happend to the palindome?
[13:22] Gregonzola: What happens in the palindrome stays in the palindrome.
[13:23] Hexatomb: Especially the Dr's office
[13:23] Stocks mall multi: false alarm    

Welcome to the Club

[09:35] Hexatomb: Tyr, join our "Supposedly smart, but complete dumbasses" club!
[09:36] xTyrx: Souds like fun !
[09:36] AlbinoPanther: :D
[09:36] xTyrx: er Sounds like Fun :P
[09:36] Gregonzola: It's like Mensa, but we call it "Mehsa."
[09:36] Gregonzola: Because meh.
[09:36] Hexatomb: Meh.sa
[09:37] Gregonzola: Grimmy, join Mehsa!
[09:37] Gregonzola: You're clearly a genius.
[09:37] Big Daddy Grimm: Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative. I am a creative genius!
[09:38] Big Daddy Grimm: mehsa- the slacker version of mensa
[09:38] Gregonzola: Yep.
[09:38] Big Daddy Grimm: apply now...or later...whatever...  
[09:39] Calvsie: its like being married to mongolian beef    

We all have our kinks

[09:08] Gun_Mage: Im going brood with loud muffler this run
[09:10] xTyrx: is that code for banging a motorcycle GM?    

Gotta Have It

[09:56] Gun_Mage: hexa, I decided on my next "OMFG GOTTA HAVE IT" item
[09:57] Gregonzola: A fleshlight.
[09:57] Gun_Mage: -_-
[09:57] Hexatomb: A blow up doll
[09:57] xTyrx: I was gonna say a strap on but that makes more sense
[09:57] Hexatomb: inflatable sheep?
[09:57] Gun_Mage feels the love