Calvsie's Epic Beard

Stocks mall multi rubs his face against his beard

Calvsie: wait my beard ofr your own beard?

Stocks mall multi: if you a nickel for every time a guy has rubbed his face against your beard how many nickels would you have calv

Gun_Mage: calvsie doesnt have a beard, he has a forrest

Calvsie: 5...

Stand back, we're professionals

AlbinoPanther: feeling sick again (not related to conversation)

Betafly: oh no :(

Betafly hugs ap

xTyrx hides the syringe he just injected AP with

AlbinoPanther: i would have puked on you if you did that IRL

Gregonzola: Oh, no. AP is our clan father hen.

Gregonzola: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

AlbinoPanther is the great white cat, doesn't know what you're talking about

Gun_Mage: greg, take him into a back room and "nurse" him back to health

xTyrx: erm I am the doctor >.> thank you very much

Gregonzola: Tyr, can we save the patient?

xTyrx: Nurse I will need 900 CC's of adrenaline

xTyrx: I doubt it Greg but we will try

Gun_Mage hands xtyrx 900 CCs of adrenaline >.>

xTyrx: Oh and 200 CC's of Morphine

xTyrx gives AP 900CC's of adrenaline

Gregonzola is pretty sure 900 CCs of adrenaline will make your heart explode out your nose

Gun_Mage accidenally trips and punctures xtyrx with 200 CCs of morphine

xTyrx: No he is a Cat remember

AlbinoPanther: @______@

xTyrx: his heart is bigger he can probably surivie

xTyrx: survive

xTyrx: He has a 6% chance of making it

AlbinoPanther screams

xTyrx hits AP in the head with a frying pan

Gun_Mage: 6%? those are good odds

Gun_Mage: DO IT

AlbinoPanther eats the frying pan

xTyrx: oops looks like the patient isn't going to make it

xTyrx: GM just wheel him around back and take care of him

AlbinoPanther urinates all over the clan hall and crawls on the ceiling

xTyrx gives Gm a S'more gun to take care of AP

AlbinoPanther gibbers more incoherently than usual

xTyrx: Now if you will excuse me I have 200CC of Morphine going through my body I am about to be in heaven more or less

Gun_Mage straps albino down into a wheelchair and pushes him into the swimming pool

Gun_Mage walks away whistling

Gun_Mage: ok xtyrx, hes taken care of

AmandaMay pees in the pool

xTyrx wanders around while on an Opiod high

AlbinoPanther floats to the top

xTyrx: Good Job nurse Gun_mage

xTyrx: make sure to hide the body we don''t need to get sued for malpractice problems

AlbinoPanther wonders why he is getting more yellow water poured on him :c

Gun_Mage nods and giggles

Betafly: um

Betafly: why is there yellow water in chat?

Gun_Mage: >.>

AlbinoPanther: "AmandaMay pees in the pool"

xTyrx: we had enough of that last time we operated on that one patient

AlbinoPanther :C

AlbinoPanther glares at GM and xtyrx

xTyrx: I removed his heart but apparently I was supposed to remove his appendix

xTyrx: Fortunately he died before charges could be pressed

Betafly pees on everyone's shoes

Gun_Mage wonders what xtyrx is on

xTyrx: Morphine of course

Gregonzola: 200 CCs of morphine.

xTyrx: its your fault you know

Gregonzola: It's like you don't even listen.

Saving Oliver Sudden

[10:17] Oliver Sudden: Apparently my doctor is trying to kill me
[10:17] Oliver Sudden: When I went to pick up medication from the pharmacy, the pharmacist was pretty adamant that I shouldn't be taking it with another one I take. She had to call the doctor to make sure. :O
[10:18] xTyrx plots to kill Oliver's doctor to save the Epic Scotsman
[10:18] Gun_Mage: oh my
[10:19] xTyrx begins building a bomb out of dryer lint and bleach
[10:20] xTyrx searches his belly button for more lint
[10:21] xTyrx can't find enough so he searches GM's belly button too [10:22] Gregonzola donates
[10:24] xTyrx begins building the C4 out of lint and baking soda
[10:24] Oliver Sudden: What happened to the bleach?
[10:25] xTyrx: Its goes to the dentonater
[10:25] xTyrx: OBVIOUSLY
[10:25] Oliver Sudden: Oh!
[10:25] xTyrx would expect EVERYONE to know how to make c4 out of Lint and bleach and baking soda
[10:25] Oliver Sudden: Sorry, I'm not very up-to-date on bomb-making.
[10:27] xTyrx feels sad for oliver

The Paleo Diet and Jabba the Hut

[10:07] Gun_Mage: oliver, Im on the paleo diet
[10:07] Gun_Mage: more like lifestyle
[10:07] Gregonzola: Oh, my bad. He does eat squirrels.
[10:08] xTyrx: and the occasional dead human
[10:08] Oliver Sudden: As in, eating what our ancestors would have eaten?
[10:08] Gregonzola: GM, paleolithic man probably still clubbed women over the heads. I believe we've just solved your marriage problem.
[10:08] Oliver Sudden: Yeah, we've evolved quite a bit from those days.
[10:09] xTyrx: Clubs are to messy you would be better off with a sharp stick
[10:09] Gun_Mage: basically
[10:09] Gun_Mage: this is how you can sum up my diet
[10:09] Gun_Mage: I am grain and dairy free
[10:09] Gun_Mage: and I eat protein, and veggies, and SOME fruit
[10:09] Gun_Mage: thats basically it
[10:09] Oliver Sudden: Why only some fruit?
[10:09] Gregonzola: Oliver, his wife needs a clubbing. It's not something I'd say lightly, as I don't believe in violence against women.
[10:09] Gregonzola: It turns out he married Jabba the Hut.
[10:09] Gun_Mage: heh
[10:10] Oliver Sudden: Gosh Greg.
[10:10] Gun_Mage: yep =(
[10:10] Gregonzola: I'm okay with violence against Jabba.
[10:10] Gun_Mage: lol
[10:10] Viral_Effigy: Ohhh ho ho usa do hajva wo Greg
[10:10] Gun_Mage: at least she LETS me still diet
[10:10] Gun_Mage: but she gets mad at me when girls notice me =P
[10:11] Big Daddy Grimm: what about when guys check you out?
[10:11] Gun_Mage: lol
[10:11] xTyrx: I was just about to ask that
[10:11] Gun_Mage: olivers the only guy who checks me out, and she doesnt know him =P

Finding hope

[10:30] Gun_Mage: don't mind Hexa, he has anxieties
[10:30] Gun_Mage: Hexa, watch out for stranger danger
[10:30] Hexatomb: I NEED AN ADULT
[10:31] Oliver Sudden is an adult.
[10:31] Gun_Mage grabs Hexa's hand and leads him to the lost child center
[10:31] Mco: Hexa, you are looking in the wrong place n.n
[10:32] Hexatomb: true
[10:32] Hexatomb: most of the adults here would molest me
[10:32] Oliver Sudden: Someone's confident.
[10:32] Gun_Mage:  Hexa, you're not THAT good looking =P
[10:33] Hexatomb: don't need to be
[10:33] Hexatomb: children are ugly and they get molested all the time
[10:33] Hexatomb: I have a chance!

Dr. Mandy the HBO Show

[13:17] Gun_Mage: Good Guys After Dark..... sounds like a movie
[13:18] Hexatomb: was it porn, greg?
[13:18] Gregonzola: Of course it was porn. I don't write anything else.
[13:18] Gregonzola: Like Dr. Mandy the HBO show.
[13:18] Gregonzola: She's a urologist who specializes in Viagra overdoses.
[13:19] Hexatomb: I'd watch that
[13:19] Gregonzola: "Dr. Mandy, I'm having a priapism. The staff told me to come right away!"
[13:19] Gregonzola: "I'll take care of that for you. Now just get up on the exam table..."    

Rules and Routing

[13:15] Gun_Mage: I always say clan chat rated R
[13:15] Gun_Mage: X rated chat to Pms
[13:15] Hexatomb: XXX rated chat to my inbox please    

They could cut glass

[13:02] Gun_Mage: hexa, you cold brah? -hic-
[13:03] Hexatomb: ha, G-G-G-GM yeah a-a-a little ;) *brr!*
[13:03] Hexatomb: feel my nipples    

At least she doesn't eat kittens

[08:25] Gun_Mage looks back at mirella one last time with sad eyes
[08:26] mirella: Sad eyes don't work on me. :| That's for people who have a soul.
[08:26] mirella: Lady Jay has a soul, i hear. Not sure whose.    

She does

[12:22] Lord Stefano: the bots are overcharging
[12:25] Gun_Mage: YOUR MOM OVER CHARGES!!!!!!!!!!    

We all have our kinks

[09:08] Gun_Mage: Im going brood with loud muffler this run
[09:10] xTyrx: is that code for banging a motorcycle GM?    

Don't Carmelize me Bro, and a special cuddle for AP

[07:36] professorjellybean logged on.
[07:38] LindsayLynne: we missed you
[07:39] Gun_Mage: welcome back!!!!!
[07:39] professorjellybean: yay :) I missed you all so much!!
[07:39] professorjellybean floods the fountain with jellybeans
[07:40] Gregonzola: I suspect Professor Jellybean was studying wild jellybeans in the jungles of Bolivia. There was no internet there.
[07:40] professorjellybean: hahaha ^.^
[07:40] professorjellybean: If I told you, I'd have to caramelize you :|
[07:43] Gregonzola: Wait, hold on. JB, will you huggle snuggle AP? I'll record it on the blog and then he'll get to see it. -hic-    
[07:44] professorjellybean CUDDLESNUGGLEHUGGLEG LOMPSMOOCHNUZZLES TEH FUZZYKITTY

Frank Sex Talk in Clan

[11:18] Reneizabeth44 doesn't like being gone down on
[11:18] Gregonzola: Rene, then it's being done wrong. -hic-
[11:18] Hexatomb: then someone isnt doing it right, rene
[11:18] Reneizabeth44 is also a super neat freak about her body
[11:19] Lia_Sang: Greg, some girls don't like that, its fine
[11:19] Big Daddy Grimm: dont like what?
[11:19] Gregonzola: Aw, Lia. You ruined the joke. But yes, you're right. -hic-
[11:19] Hexatomb: oral, grimm
[11:19] Gregonzola: Grimmy, we're having frank sex talk today.
[11:19] Gun_Mage: whos frank?
[11:19] Big Daddy Grimm: frank is GREAT in bed
[11:20] Reneizabeth44 does like to give though
[11:20] Big Daddy Grimm: and lemme guess...hexa doesnt like THAT either...
[11:20] Hexatomb: what?
[11:20] Hexatomb: why wouldn't I like oral?
[11:20] Reneizabeth44: me actually
[11:20] Hexatomb: i'll give and take, grimm
[11:20] Gun_Mage: oh god... I once asked my wife for oral, she yelled and threw things at me
[11:20] Big Daddy Grimm: Hex is my own personal grouchy smurf
[11:20] Hexatomb: haha
[11:20] Hexatomb: just stick it in, GM
[11:20] Big Daddy Grimm: you shouldn't ask for that at church gunmage
[11:20] Hexatomb: that'll shut her up
[11:21] Gun_Mage: oh gawd.... SHED BITE IT OFF -hic-
[11:21] Gun_Mage: no way
[11:21] Gregonzola: Hm. Catching up. Rene, do you date shorter men? =)
[11:21] Reneizabeth44: if you are fully aroused the human jaw doesn't have enough strength in it to bite it off GM
[11:22] Gregonzola: Wait, scratch that question in light of the latest comment.
[11:22] Hexatomb: lol greg    

You'll never look at Taffy the Same Way

[10:49] Gun_Mage pulls up a chair
[10:50] Reneizabeth44 sits on GM considering he masturbates 5 times a day I shouldn't be poked
[10:50] Gun_Mage: nope, its like taffy
[10:50] Calvsie: it comes in salt water variety?
[10:50] Hexatomb: GM has rain-doh in his pants
[10:50] Abyssal Bandit momentarily contemplates chewing on it...
[10:51] Zeklan: do you need a mold to shape it?    

You know those are permanent, right?

[10:19] Reneizabeth44 reaaallly likes tattoos
[10:19] Jesskahh wants a new tattoo...
[10:19] Gun_Mage loves his tatoo
[10:20] LucyLynne: I have a scorpion tattoo on my upper back
[10:20] Jesskahh: I have 7 tattoos.
[10:20] Hexatomb: I have elephant ears on my inner thighs  
[10:22] LucyLynne: GM needs a tattoo on his lower back that says: Back door guests are the best
[10:22] Hexatomb: Mandy, that might clash with the stomach tattoo that says "Entry in the Rear only"
[10:23] Gregonzola: Oh, that's the kind of delivery he was getting.
[10:23] Gregonzola: [10:19] Gun_Mage: brb shipment
[10:23] Jesskahh: ^
[10:24] LucyLynne: shipment indeed
[10:24] Hexatomb: xD
[10:24] Hexatomb: Someone's package... arrived    
[10:24] LucyLynne: is GM accepting somebodys package?
[10:25] Hexatomb: he's probably helping to unload someone's package, Mandy    

Gotta Have It

[09:56] Gun_Mage: hexa, I decided on my next "OMFG GOTTA HAVE IT" item
[09:57] Gregonzola: A fleshlight.
[09:57] Gun_Mage: -_-
[09:57] Hexatomb: A blow up doll
[09:57] xTyrx: I was gonna say a strap on but that makes more sense
[09:57] Hexatomb: inflatable sheep?
[09:57] Gun_Mage feels the love

Frozen

[13:56] Gun_Mage: ANYONE SEE FROZEN?
[13:56] Hexatomb: Yes, and you know what I liked about that movie?
[13:56] everyman4: the ending?
[13:56] Gregonzola: The freedom Elsa found when she cast off her inhibitions and made an ice dress, Hexa?
[13:57] Gregonzola is pretty sure Hexa wants an ice dress
[13:57] Hexatomb: Who DOESN'T want an ice dress    

Real Men

[13:43] Gun_Mage: real men never discuss penis size
[13:43] Hexatomb: we just sword fight with them in the locker room    

Gun Mage's Quotation of the Day

[09:10] Gun_Mage: bah, I masturbate like 5 times every day, so Im ok =P

You go, GM.  Wax that dolphin like a pro!

Oh, that's where he keeps it

[11:36] Gregonzola: Guys, I'm concerned.
[11:36] Gregonzola: I'm hearing that thigh gaps are big now, but I don't have one.
[11:36] Gregonzola: Do you think I need to do some serious Atkins or something?
[11:36] Gun_Mage: LOL
[11:36] Gun_Mage: thigh gaps are meh
[11:38] AlbinoPanther: starvation diet, greg. it's the only way.
[11:38] Lord_Wyrme: i have a gap in my thighs. but it is filled by a very large dragon goodie sack ^_~