Interactive voice response and Voice to Text

[17:42] Viral_Effigy: and it won't connect you until you at least try using the IVR
[17:42] everyman4: everyone knows the press zero button and they are trying to circle vent that
[17:42] everyman4: circumvent
[17:42] everyman4: come on samsung
[17:42] Viral_Effigy: no i like circle vent better
[17:42] Viral_Effigy: we're going with circle vent
[17:43] everyman4: like a circle jerk for farting

Prehensile Love is in the Air

[21:33] TeamSpeakUser: Okay, you fairly skinny then AP, wink wink, nudge nudge?
[21:33] AlbinoPanther: :| yes
[21:33] AlbinoPanther backs away from the winking and nudging
[21:33] TeamSpeakUser: ;)
[21:34] everyman4: yeah, this is getting kiiiiiinda playfully flirty.
[21:34] everyman4 gets popcorn
[21:34] jon diaz: backing away won't help when we're all 6' and prehensile  

Every's a Beaver

There's a definite article in there, boys.  Don't get excited.

[19:38] everyman4: I use sandpaper every day. You guys already know more than me. I feel dumb.
[19:39] AlbinoPanther: ... why do you use sandpaper every day? O_o
[19:39] Hexatomb: guys know how to polish the wood from birth
[19:39] everyman4: At work, AP
[19:39] jon diaz: every is secretly a beaver
[19:39] jon diaz: has to sand down the teeth because they don't stop growing
[19:40] everyman4: It's not a secret, Diaz/.
[19:40] everyman4: Now everyone knows.
[19:40] everyman4: GEE THANKS.
[19:40] everyman4: Dam it.

Jon and Hexa Know Their Sauce

[19:13] jon diaz: guy is clearly 10
[19:13] Guy999: fite me jon
[19:13] Guy999: raight nao
[19:13] Guy999: fite me
[19:13] jon diaz: I'll fight you over that spelling
[19:14] jon diaz downs guy with a single saucegeyser and runs away
[19:14] jon diaz: nah, i'm an hc sc, i can't saucegeyser
[19:14] Gregonzola: Jon, with that 13.5" sword I've heard you can saucegeyser any time you like.
[19:15] jon diaz: i only have one kind of sauce tho
[19:15] jon diaz: and a lot of people don't like the flavor
[19:15] everyman4: A light cream sauce?
[19:15] jon diaz: oddly enough, it tastes like pan-seared tilapia
[19:15] everyman4: Hexa knows more about sauce than any of us.
[19:17] Hexatomb: and yes, I know a lot about sauce :p

Food is good soup

[21:07] Gregonzola:  I'm moving to Oregon.
[21:11] Gregonzola: I think Salem.
[21:11] AlbinoPanther: i wish i could move to salem, greg.
[21:11] everyman4: Oh, man, I'm like, 30 seconds away from Salem
[21:11] everyman4: Move here, AP!
[21:12] Gregonzola: AP, you can. Move with me!
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: wrong salem 
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: i was thinking about salem, Mass. :P
[21:12] Gregonzola: We can have picnics and stuff.
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: yeahhhhh
[21:12] AlbinoPanther: no.
[21:12] Gregonzola: Every, will you have picnics with me?
[21:13] everyman4: Fine, AP is uninvited to KoL picnic time.
[21:13] everyman4: SCREW YOU THERE'S A PADDLEBOAT
[21:13] AlbinoPanther: ahahahaha
[21:13] everyman4: Of course, Greg
[21:13] Gregonzola: Yay!
[21:13] Gregonzola: Game on.
[21:13] everyman4 looks around for someone to save her from this
[21:13] everyman4: Anybody? No? DID WE ALL FORGET HE WAS A PEDOPHILE LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO?
[21:14] everyman4: AP, come be my third wheel
[21:14] Gregonzola: Every, I'd never do that to you. And I'm no pedophile. I'm a donutsexual.
[21:14] everyman4: We can make Greg the third wheel
[21:14] Gregonzola: I only make love to donuts.
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: oooh~
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: i'm ok with that, every
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: ...
[21:14] AlbinoPanther: christ on a cracker Greg
[21:14] everyman4: You like to do nuts?
[21:15] Gregonzola: I'm only kidding on the donuts. Every has accused me of loving ponies and kids. I figured we'd give her baked goods, too.
[21:15] Gregonzola: I was considering soup, but let's be honest. You can't do that with soup. 
[21:16] AlbinoPanther: challenge accepted, greg. 
[21:16] everyman4: Not with that attitude, Greg

Why he really comes to chat

[21:10] AlbinoPanther: i only come in to chat with you fucks... and i get South Park quotes.
[21:11] Viral_Effigy: <3
[21:11] jon diaz: and firefly quotes
[21:11] AlbinoPanther: <3
[21:11] AlbinoPanther: you're not all bad.
[21:11] Viral_Effigy: GUESS I BETTER CLIMB THE FUCKING BEANSTALK EH?
[21:11] jon diaz: we're the least benightedly unintelligent lifeforms you've never had to profound lack of pleasure to be unable to avoid meeting?
[21:12] everyman4: CLIMB IT, BITCH!
[21:12] everyman4: he's here for the tits, diaz, he just claims it's for intellectual discourse

When /clan goes quiet

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Everyone has their talents

[16:12] everyman4: DIAAAZ! <3
[16:12] jon diaz: where've you been?!
[16:12] everyman4: Studying, man, studying
[16:12] jon diaz: we were about to send out search parties
[16:13] jon diaz: and by "we" i mean "i"
[16:13] jon diaz: and by "search parties" i mean........
[16:13] jon diaz: strippers.
[16:13] everyman4: Stippers are notoriously bad searchers
[16:14] Guy999: Not really
[16:14] Guy999: they're great at finding wallets
[16:14] jon diaz: and crotches

Clit stabbing

[14:58] Hexatomb: isnt that 90% of dickstabbing, AP?
[14:58] everyman4: As a person with no dick, I can only imagine that being painful
[14:59] Hexatomb: think of it as uh.. clit stabbing
[14:59] AlbinoPanther: but with much more bleeding
[14:59] Berrasi can't wrap her mind around stabbing things with her clit. o.0
[14:59] everyman4: Sweet merciful Moses
[15:00] Hexatomb: stabbing her clit with sharp objects, hEarty
[15:00] everyman4: No, no thank you.
[15:00] Berrasi: Well, I've done that already
[15:00] everyman4: Pierced, hEarty?
[15:00] Berrasi: I was at one point, yes.

Don't try that at home, kids.

Men and our excuses

[14:03] AlbinoPanther: just got back from a kickass workout
[14:03] AlbinoPanther: feeling pretty fine
[14:03] Gregonzola: AP is ripped.
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: LOL not yet
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: but I plan to be.
[14:04] everyman4: AP is gettin swole
[14:04] everyman4: AP DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: I LIFTED YOUR MOM ONTO MY DICK LAST NIGHT
[14:04] AlbinoPanther: >:L
[14:04] Gregonzola: AP, her mom's dead.
[14:05] Gregonzola: Are you robbin' graves and doin' zombies?
[14:05] AlbinoPanther: awfuck
[14:05] AlbinoPanther: .-.
[14:05] everyman4: Yeah, Greg, dead tired
[14:05] everyman4: from all that dick riding
[14:05] AlbinoPanther: :c meep
[14:05] everyman4: My mom is very assuredly teaching a group of middleschoolers right now.
[14:06] Gregonzola: How to bone down.
[14:06] everyman4: Well, of course, I mean, it's MY mom.
[14:06] AlbinoPanther thought she was a little cold...
[14:08] everyman4: Is that your excuse? "It's cold in here?" You men and your excuses.

Yeeehaaaw!

[21:43] jon diaz: "make love, not war, man"
[21:43] jon diaz: I PREFER TO DO BOTH
[21:43] jon diaz: AHAHAHAHAHA
[21:43] Gregonzola: Just not at the same time.
[21:43] Gregonzola: Most people react poorly to gunplay in the middle of love-making.
[21:44] JessKahh: o.0 I log in and see 'you have a pussy, Perilous?"
[21:44] everyman4: Those people are sissies.
[21:44] everyman4: Night, PA
[21:44] JessKahh: I'm still lost.
[21:44] everyman4: Perilous has a cat.
[21:44] jon diaz: "shooting a rifle while balls-deep in a squealing hog"

Rules were made to be broken

[15:15] Stocks mall multi: Hello mates
[15:16] Gregonzola: No mating in open chat.
[15:16] everyman4: Aww
[15:17] everyman4: Way to stifle me, Gregonzola
[15:19] Lia_Sang mates with BareAssi
[15:19] everyman4 watches awkardly
[15:19] Gregonzola: Reverse psychology. Worked like a charm.    
[15:22] Berrasi mates with Lia_Sang and then some.
[15:22] Lia_Sang: giggity    

Frozen

[13:56] Gun_Mage: ANYONE SEE FROZEN?
[13:56] Hexatomb: Yes, and you know what I liked about that movie?
[13:56] everyman4: the ending?
[13:56] Gregonzola: The freedom Elsa found when she cast off her inhibitions and made an ice dress, Hexa?
[13:57] Gregonzola is pretty sure Hexa wants an ice dress
[13:57] Hexatomb: Who DOESN'T want an ice dress    

It really is all-purpose

[11:34] everyman4: calvsie, are you perchance the ghost of billy mays?
[11:35] Calvsie: Yes through the power of oxyclean I have come back from the dead    

Questions that need Answering

[20:41] PerilousApricot: man, the kreuggerand drop rate blows megadicks
[20:41] skullfark soulshasser: or supercocks?
[20:41] everyman4: how large is a megadick compared to say the average cock?
[20:41] PerilousApricot: I didn't want to have it be ambiguous with superhuman cocktailcrafting -hic-
[20:41] everyman4: could a layman easily blow three in an hour?

Mad Credz

[20:30] everyman4: I'M SMART ABOUT COLORS
[20:30] everyman4: AND I MAKE A HELL OF A MEATLOAF