[21:37] RAMONE:
A dog slept on my hat this weekend
[21:37] fantabulous:
Did you fuck it in the ass?
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Plans for the Fourth
[21:30] fantabulous:
So. I have Friday off this week if I want it.
[21:31] Gregonzola: Take it, Fanta!
[21:32] fantabulous: I think I will. But I'm tempted to try the whole 9 hour days thing again.
[21:33] fantabulous: I don't utterly need the money, though.
[21:33] RAMONE: udderly*
[21:33] Gregonzola: Not this Friday. This Friday you want to be sleeping off a good drunk after running around streaking with sparklers hanging out of your ass.
[21:33] Gregonzola: Actually, that was my plan until I heard I wasn't getting Friday off.
[21:33] Gregonzola: Bastards.
[21:34] MISS HAVISHAM: grego, normally i'd tell you not to tell me what i want
[21:34] MISS HAVISHAM: but in this case, you've nailed it
[21:34] Gregonzola: Well, I meant for Fanta, but it's a great plan for anyone.
[21:34] fantabulous: I don't think I'd want sparklers hanging out of my butt.
[21:34] Gregonzola: I know Lee's planning his route right now.
[21:34] RAMONE: better out than in
[21:34] Gregonzola: Fanta, it's perfectly safe if you duct tape them together far enough up the stem.
[21:31] Gregonzola: Take it, Fanta!
[21:32] fantabulous: I think I will. But I'm tempted to try the whole 9 hour days thing again.
[21:33] fantabulous: I don't utterly need the money, though.
[21:33] RAMONE: udderly*
[21:33] Gregonzola: Not this Friday. This Friday you want to be sleeping off a good drunk after running around streaking with sparklers hanging out of your ass.
[21:33] Gregonzola: Actually, that was my plan until I heard I wasn't getting Friday off.
[21:33] Gregonzola: Bastards.
[21:34] MISS HAVISHAM: grego, normally i'd tell you not to tell me what i want
[21:34] MISS HAVISHAM: but in this case, you've nailed it
[21:34] Gregonzola: Well, I meant for Fanta, but it's a great plan for anyone.
[21:34] fantabulous: I don't think I'd want sparklers hanging out of my butt.
[21:34] Gregonzola: I know Lee's planning his route right now.
[21:34] RAMONE: better out than in
[21:34] Gregonzola: Fanta, it's perfectly safe if you duct tape them together far enough up the stem.
Observe my ASS!
[21:25] Gregonzola:
My pet peeve this week is that we need to observe the 4th of July to the
nearest Monday or Friday. -hic-
[21:26] MISS HAVISHAM: RIGHT? i want a three damned day weekend. dammit. fuckshit.
[21:26] MISS HAVISHAM: my computer judges me, fanta.
[21:26] MISS HAVISHAM: all i wanted to do was google "cat penis" and all these sirens went off
[21:26] Gregonzola: We actually passed the resolution July 2nd. We adopted the declaration July 4th. It's like a whole week thing anyway.
[21:26] fantabulous: Huh. Let me try that.
[21:26] Gregonzola: So give me a 3 day or the whole week, but none of this Thursday off shit.
[21:27] MISS HAVISHAM: right? my boss wants us to do workshops that Friday
[21:27] Gregonzola: Google bitchdicks.
[21:27] Gregonzola: What a bastard.
[21:27] Gregonzola: That's not cool.
[21:27] MISS HAVISHAM: i'm like, really, i want that workshop because you can guarantee no attendance
[21:27] Gregonzola: Workshops my hairy ass.
[21:27] MISS HAVISHAM: Workshops my WRINKLY ass
[21:28] MISS HAVISHAM: man, greg, together we have one sexy ass
[21:28] Gregonzola: Hairy and wrinkly, just the way Lee likes our moms.
[21:28] RAMONE: LOVES
[21:26] MISS HAVISHAM: RIGHT? i want a three damned day weekend. dammit. fuckshit.
[21:26] MISS HAVISHAM: my computer judges me, fanta.
[21:26] MISS HAVISHAM: all i wanted to do was google "cat penis" and all these sirens went off
[21:26] Gregonzola: We actually passed the resolution July 2nd. We adopted the declaration July 4th. It's like a whole week thing anyway.
[21:26] fantabulous: Huh. Let me try that.
[21:26] Gregonzola: So give me a 3 day or the whole week, but none of this Thursday off shit.
[21:27] MISS HAVISHAM: right? my boss wants us to do workshops that Friday
[21:27] Gregonzola: Google bitchdicks.
[21:27] Gregonzola: What a bastard.
[21:27] Gregonzola: That's not cool.
[21:27] MISS HAVISHAM: i'm like, really, i want that workshop because you can guarantee no attendance
[21:27] Gregonzola: Workshops my hairy ass.
[21:27] MISS HAVISHAM: Workshops my WRINKLY ass
[21:28] MISS HAVISHAM: man, greg, together we have one sexy ass
[21:28] Gregonzola: Hairy and wrinkly, just the way Lee likes our moms.
[21:28] RAMONE: LOVES
Friday, June 28, 2013
That's Pretty Zany
[11:02] Kafka
Tamura: on yesterday's sign-in sheet, someone signed in as
"Mothra the Giant Radioactive Insect"
Romantic Sewer Walks
[09:06] Gregonzola:
Now I want to be a Phoenician mariner for Halloween. What did they wear?
[09:06] RAMONE: leather skirts
[09:06] MISS HAVISHAM: darth vader masks and onions, like lee
[09:07] Gregonzola: Sweet. I can duct tape on a leather skirt.
[09:07] RAMONE: but they could only afford yellow onions on account of the war
[09:07] MISS HAVISHAM: right, because that was LONG before we pulled out of iraq
[09:08] Gregonzola: [link] http:// phoenicia.jimdo.com/ clothing-and-art/
[09:08] Everybody: Aha. I pulled out of a part-Iraqi gal.
[09:08] Gregonzola: There's my awesome mask for Halloween. I'm going to need to make paper mache.
[09:08] Gregonzola: Capes were worn by men and women alike.
[09:08] Gregonzola: Fuck yes. These people knew how to dress.
[09:08] MISS HAVISHAM: belted, pleated skirts. they just forgot to mention the leather part.
[09:09] Shoo86: lol
[09:09] MISS HAVISHAM: large pendants of a god
[09:09] MISS HAVISHAM: Lee can be your god
[09:09] MISS HAVISHAM: just make it an onion pendant.
[09:10] Gregonzola: I'm going to carve Cthulhu into the onion pendant. It is Halloween after all.
[09:10] Gregonzola: I need to grow my beard out again to do this right.
[09:10] Gregonzola: Really thick this time.
[09:10] MISS HAVISHAM: acquire a cone-shaped hat and you'll be set.
[09:15] MISS HAVISHAM: pooch is gonna walk shoo through the sewer. doesn't that sound romantic?
[09:15] MISS HAVISHAM: but smelly.
[09:15] Shoo86: haha
[09:15] MISS HAVISHAM: i see him spreading his traditional Phoenician cape over particularly disgusting patches for shoo's comfort
[09:06] RAMONE: leather skirts
[09:06] MISS HAVISHAM: darth vader masks and onions, like lee
[09:07] Gregonzola: Sweet. I can duct tape on a leather skirt.
[09:07] RAMONE: but they could only afford yellow onions on account of the war
[09:07] MISS HAVISHAM: right, because that was LONG before we pulled out of iraq
[09:08] Gregonzola: [link] http:// phoenicia.jimdo.com/ clothing-and-art/
[09:08] Everybody: Aha. I pulled out of a part-Iraqi gal.
[09:08] Gregonzola: There's my awesome mask for Halloween. I'm going to need to make paper mache.
[09:08] Gregonzola: Capes were worn by men and women alike.
[09:08] Gregonzola: Fuck yes. These people knew how to dress.
[09:08] MISS HAVISHAM: belted, pleated skirts. they just forgot to mention the leather part.
[09:09] Shoo86: lol
[09:09] MISS HAVISHAM: large pendants of a god
[09:09] MISS HAVISHAM: Lee can be your god
[09:09] MISS HAVISHAM: just make it an onion pendant.
[09:10] Gregonzola: I'm going to carve Cthulhu into the onion pendant. It is Halloween after all.
[09:10] Gregonzola: I need to grow my beard out again to do this right.
[09:10] Gregonzola: Really thick this time.
[09:10] MISS HAVISHAM: acquire a cone-shaped hat and you'll be set.
[09:15] MISS HAVISHAM: pooch is gonna walk shoo through the sewer. doesn't that sound romantic?
[09:15] MISS HAVISHAM: but smelly.
[09:15] Shoo86: haha
[09:15] MISS HAVISHAM: i see him spreading his traditional Phoenician cape over particularly disgusting patches for shoo's comfort
Sailing the Seas of Lee's Pees
[08:58] Gregonzola:
[link]
http://www.cnn.com/ 2013/02/28/world/ americas/phoenician- christopher-
columbus-america- sailboat
[08:58] Gregonzola: I did not know this! How cool!
[08:59] MISS HAVISHAM: that IS cool. i call People Of Phoenix "Phoenicians" sometimes. i wonder if anyone gets confused.
[08:59] Gregonzola: [link] http:// phoenicia.org/ america.html
[08:59] Gregonzola: Haha, probably not.
[08:59] Gregonzola: Hm. That could be a map of the new world.
[08:59] RAMONE: zoooom
[08:59] Gregonzola: How fun is that? History continues to surprise me. I love it.
[08:59] Gregonzola: Hey, Lee.
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: it could be another map based on lee's jizz spatters, though
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: one never knows
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: ohai lee
[09:00] RAMONE: No, I'm the one that pees everywhere
[09:00] Gregonzola: [link] http:// phoenicia.org/ america.html
[09:00] Gregonzola: Here's what we're talking about.
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: i recall something about another penile function
[09:00] RAMONE: Oh, yeah there was that one thing
[09:01] Gregonzola: It could be a map of the new world, or it could be Lee spooge. We're not sure.
[09:01] RAMONE: fanta started it though
[09:01] RAMONE: If it were up to me, the entire planet would be awash in my pee, gargling and drowning and praising me
[09:03] RAMONE drifts off, staring at the ceiling and picturing such a scenario
[09:03] RAMONE has a little smile on his face for the first time in years
[08:58] Gregonzola: I did not know this! How cool!
[08:59] MISS HAVISHAM: that IS cool. i call People Of Phoenix "Phoenicians" sometimes. i wonder if anyone gets confused.
[08:59] Gregonzola: [link] http:// phoenicia.org/ america.html
[08:59] Gregonzola: Haha, probably not.
[08:59] Gregonzola: Hm. That could be a map of the new world.
[08:59] RAMONE: zoooom
[08:59] Gregonzola: How fun is that? History continues to surprise me. I love it.
[08:59] Gregonzola: Hey, Lee.
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: it could be another map based on lee's jizz spatters, though
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: one never knows
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: ohai lee
[09:00] RAMONE: No, I'm the one that pees everywhere
[09:00] Gregonzola: [link] http:// phoenicia.org/ america.html
[09:00] Gregonzola: Here's what we're talking about.
[09:00] MISS HAVISHAM: i recall something about another penile function
[09:00] RAMONE: Oh, yeah there was that one thing
[09:01] Gregonzola: It could be a map of the new world, or it could be Lee spooge. We're not sure.
[09:01] RAMONE: fanta started it though
[09:01] RAMONE: If it were up to me, the entire planet would be awash in my pee, gargling and drowning and praising me
[09:03] RAMONE drifts off, staring at the ceiling and picturing such a scenario
[09:03] RAMONE has a little smile on his face for the first time in years
Thursday, June 27, 2013
They Demand Respect
[14:44] fantabulous:
In the case where that guy died from getting sodomized by a horse, it was
determined that he caused no harm to the horse.
[14:44] fantabulous: Mostly I wanted to mention the whole getting fucked by a horse thing.
[14:44] Everybody: And this is why we respect giant cocks.
[14:45] Everybody: BECAUSE THEY CAN KILL.
[14:44] fantabulous: Mostly I wanted to mention the whole getting fucked by a horse thing.
[14:44] Everybody: And this is why we respect giant cocks.
[14:45] Everybody: BECAUSE THEY CAN KILL.
We wouldn't
[14:15] Everybody:
"You can't rape a goat these days.. "
[14:16] MISS HAVISHAM: Don't tell me what I can't do
[14:16] MISS HAVISHAM: Don't tell me what I can't do
Crap Lee Says
[09:37] RAMONE:
bitchdicks
[09:01] RAMONE: If it were up to me, the entire planet would be awash in my pee, gargling and drowning and praising me
[09:03] Leeverb: this is the worst day of my entire life forever in the whole universe
[09:05] Leeverb: I could be out ogling asian students
[09:12] Leeverb: bbl asians
[10:17] RAMONE: assbum
[10:37] RAMONE: crap boobs crap
[10:38] RAMONE: hell damn fart
[12:00] RAMONE: BUCKWHEAT GROATS
[08:17] RAMONE: pimpledicks
[12:07] RAMONE: titknuckles
[08:34] RAMONE: assmunch
[12:06] RAMONE: dickpit
[11:49] RAMONE: clamjuice
[11:54] RAMONE: You can call me Prickasso
[09:01] RAMONE: If it were up to me, the entire planet would be awash in my pee, gargling and drowning and praising me
[09:03] Leeverb: this is the worst day of my entire life forever in the whole universe
[09:05] Leeverb: I could be out ogling asian students
[09:12] Leeverb: bbl asians
[10:17] RAMONE: assbum
[10:37] RAMONE: crap boobs crap
[10:38] RAMONE: hell damn fart
[12:00] RAMONE: BUCKWHEAT GROATS
[08:17] RAMONE: pimpledicks
[12:07] RAMONE: titknuckles
[08:34] RAMONE: assmunch
[12:06] RAMONE: dickpit
[11:49] RAMONE: clamjuice
[11:54] RAMONE: You can call me Prickasso
Piehole
[10:28] Gregonzola:
My next band will be Fountains of Pee. I'm trying to decide what genre
we'll play.
[10:29] MISS HAVISHAM: make it Fountains of P so people can guess.
[10:29] Gregonzola: I'm not that subtle. So, I should probably play industrial hate rock.
[10:29] MISS HAVISHAM: "You dont think they mean PEE, do you?" "I don't know, let's go to the show"
[10:31] Gregonzola: Maybe I'll call it "Piehole."
[10:31] Gregonzola: The problem is I have no talent. Lee, what kind of music should I do if I have no talent?
[10:33] RAMONE: current pop
[10:33] Gregonzola: Can do.
[10:33] RAMONE: just get a computer with a drum machine and pitch corrector
[10:34] Gregonzola: Sweet.
[10:34] Gregonzola: Piehole could work for that. Bubblegum rock.
[10:35] Everybody: Your cover can feature a nude woman in a swing getting a perfect piece of cherry pie almost-inserted.
[10:36] RAMONE: why the swing
[10:36] MISS HAVISHAM: pooch's particular preferences are best not to inquire about
[10:36] MISS HAVISHAM: he might answer.
[10:36] Everybody: It gives you a better photo op.
[10:37] Everybody: I was mentally ripping off the gal in the swing who gets a twatful of a bottle of champagne.
[10:37] RAMONE: ah
[10:38] MISS HAVISHAM: i did not know that was a thing and probably did not need to know that was a thing
[10:38] RAMONE: knowledge is power
[10:29] MISS HAVISHAM: make it Fountains of P so people can guess.
[10:29] Gregonzola: I'm not that subtle. So, I should probably play industrial hate rock.
[10:29] MISS HAVISHAM: "You dont think they mean PEE, do you?" "I don't know, let's go to the show"
[10:31] Gregonzola: Maybe I'll call it "Piehole."
[10:31] Gregonzola: The problem is I have no talent. Lee, what kind of music should I do if I have no talent?
[10:33] RAMONE: current pop
[10:33] Gregonzola: Can do.
[10:33] RAMONE: just get a computer with a drum machine and pitch corrector
[10:34] Gregonzola: Sweet.
[10:34] Gregonzola: Piehole could work for that. Bubblegum rock.
[10:35] Everybody: Your cover can feature a nude woman in a swing getting a perfect piece of cherry pie almost-inserted.
[10:36] RAMONE: why the swing
[10:36] MISS HAVISHAM: pooch's particular preferences are best not to inquire about
[10:36] MISS HAVISHAM: he might answer.
[10:36] Everybody: It gives you a better photo op.
[10:37] Everybody: I was mentally ripping off the gal in the swing who gets a twatful of a bottle of champagne.
[10:37] RAMONE: ah
[10:38] MISS HAVISHAM: i did not know that was a thing and probably did not need to know that was a thing
[10:38] RAMONE: knowledge is power
Always keep the Goat
[09:56] Shoo86:
my couch pulls out, but i dont
[09:56] MISS HAVISHAM: shoo, you are ten years old. stop repeating things your older brother said that you don't understand.
[09:56] RAMONE: It's ok, neither see any action
[09:57] Shoo86: its hard now lee
[09:57] RAMONE: ...
[09:57] RAMONE: tmi
[09:57] Shoo86: i know back in your day you could just give a girls dad a goat and some chickens
[09:57] Shoo86: haha oops >.<
[09:58] RAMONE: Why not just keep the goat?
[09:56] MISS HAVISHAM: shoo, you are ten years old. stop repeating things your older brother said that you don't understand.
[09:56] RAMONE: It's ok, neither see any action
[09:57] Shoo86: its hard now lee
[09:57] RAMONE: ...
[09:57] RAMONE: tmi
[09:57] Shoo86: i know back in your day you could just give a girls dad a goat and some chickens
[09:57] Shoo86: haha oops >.<
[09:58] RAMONE: Why not just keep the goat?
Great Band Name
[09:48] Gregonzola:
One of my friends was discussing the enthralling topic of "If you had to
make out with supreme court justice, which one would you go with?"
[09:48] Gregonzola: I think Roberts. He's hot.
[09:48] RAMONE: Dead or alive
[09:49] Gregonzola: Current. Dead would be more interesting.
[09:49] Gregonzola: So, let's change it.
[09:49] Gregonzola: Which would you go with, Lee, dead or alive?
[09:49] Gregonzola: What would a young Ginsberg look like? I may change my choice.
[09:50] RAMONE: Rufus Wheeler Peckham has dreamy eyes
[09:50] MISS HAVISHAM: o'connor please and thank you
[09:50] MISS HAVISHAM: although for a hatefuck, give me a night with scalia.
[09:51] MISS HAVISHAM: that man can hate like nobody else.
[09:51] Gregonzola: This is about appearance, not ideology. You've corrupted this discussion, Havi.
[09:51] RAMONE: I am starting a band called Hatefuck
[09:51] MISS HAVISHAM: Oh, people still care about appearance? Is this jr high?
[09:51] Gregonzola: I'm sure it exists.
[09:51] Gregonzola: Yes.
[09:51] Gregonzola: Haven't you been paying attention?
[09:51] MISS HAVISHAM: No, I've been staring out the window daydreaming about cute boys
[09:52] MISS HAVISHAM: it is jr high, after all
[09:52] RAMONE: If people didn't care about appearance I would not be wearing my Sunday Best like I am now
[09:52] Gregonzola: Thanks for fitting in.
[09:52] MISS HAVISHAM: would that be your darth vader mask and a pair of boxer briefs?
[09:52] RAMONE: Wtf are boxer briefs
[09:52] Gregonzola: Why do I imagine lederhosen as Lee's Sunday Best?
[09:52] RAMONE: but yes on the mask
[09:54] RAMONE: I duct-taped a sherriff's badge from Tombstone, NM circa 1890 over my belly button and I am wearing crocs
[09:54] MISS HAVISHAM: is there an onion?
[09:54] RAMONE: always
[09:55] RAMONE: I could even afford a white one this time
[09:55] MISS HAVISHAM: then the verdict is: hawt
[09:48] Gregonzola: I think Roberts. He's hot.
[09:48] RAMONE: Dead or alive
[09:49] Gregonzola: Current. Dead would be more interesting.
[09:49] Gregonzola: So, let's change it.
[09:49] Gregonzola: Which would you go with, Lee, dead or alive?
[09:49] Gregonzola: What would a young Ginsberg look like? I may change my choice.
[09:50] RAMONE: Rufus Wheeler Peckham has dreamy eyes
[09:50] MISS HAVISHAM: o'connor please and thank you
[09:50] MISS HAVISHAM: although for a hatefuck, give me a night with scalia.
[09:51] MISS HAVISHAM: that man can hate like nobody else.
[09:51] Gregonzola: This is about appearance, not ideology. You've corrupted this discussion, Havi.
[09:51] RAMONE: I am starting a band called Hatefuck
[09:51] MISS HAVISHAM: Oh, people still care about appearance? Is this jr high?
[09:51] Gregonzola: I'm sure it exists.
[09:51] Gregonzola: Yes.
[09:51] Gregonzola: Haven't you been paying attention?
[09:51] MISS HAVISHAM: No, I've been staring out the window daydreaming about cute boys
[09:52] MISS HAVISHAM: it is jr high, after all
[09:52] RAMONE: If people didn't care about appearance I would not be wearing my Sunday Best like I am now
[09:52] Gregonzola: Thanks for fitting in.
[09:52] MISS HAVISHAM: would that be your darth vader mask and a pair of boxer briefs?
[09:52] RAMONE: Wtf are boxer briefs
[09:52] Gregonzola: Why do I imagine lederhosen as Lee's Sunday Best?
[09:52] RAMONE: but yes on the mask
[09:54] RAMONE: I duct-taped a sherriff's badge from Tombstone, NM circa 1890 over my belly button and I am wearing crocs
[09:54] MISS HAVISHAM: is there an onion?
[09:54] RAMONE: always
[09:55] RAMONE: I could even afford a white one this time
[09:55] MISS HAVISHAM: then the verdict is: hawt
Leeverb is Modest
A Shoo by any other name would smell of submerged steak
[09:07] Shoo86:
hey havi
[09:07] MISS HAVISHAM: hey shoobert
[09:07] Gregonzola: Shoorob.
[09:08] MISS HAVISHAM: Lance Robert "The Shoohorn" Bass
[09:08] MISS HAVISHAM: if we're being formal
[09:10] fantabulous: Or Mr. Steak and Pooptatoes if we're being less formal.
[09:11] MISS HAVISHAM: "Rob the plumber" to his friends
[09:07] MISS HAVISHAM: hey shoobert
[09:07] Gregonzola: Shoorob.
[09:08] MISS HAVISHAM: Lance Robert "The Shoohorn" Bass
[09:08] MISS HAVISHAM: if we're being formal
[09:10] fantabulous: Or Mr. Steak and Pooptatoes if we're being less formal.
[09:11] MISS HAVISHAM: "Rob the plumber" to his friends
Red Havi
[09:02] MISS
HAVISHAM logged on.
[09:04] Gregonzola: Welcome, Havi. -hic-
[09:04] Gregonzola: Would you like to poop on my desk?
[09:04] Everybody: Red Havi shot the food.
[09:05] MISS HAVISHAM: Hello and thanks, I'm innocent!, no thank you.
[09:04] Gregonzola: Welcome, Havi. -hic-
[09:04] Gregonzola: Would you like to poop on my desk?
[09:04] Everybody: Red Havi shot the food.
[09:05] MISS HAVISHAM: Hello and thanks, I'm innocent!, no thank you.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Whorses
[08:22] Everybody:
I'm okay with being a celibate horselover.
[08:22] Gregonzola: Naw, you want to marry and fuck a horse, go for it. The horse won't care.
[08:23] Gregonzola: Just don't try to marry and fuck a cat, as that will injure the cat.
[08:23] Everybody: It's not the horse-fucking that bothers me, it's my bizarre desire to want to have a conversation with them afterward.
[08:23] Gregonzola: That's a good point. People keep expecting Mrs. Ed, and that just isn't happening, folks.
[08:24] Everybody: If you just want to fuck the horse, you should probably keep her as an equimistress or a whorse.
[08:22] Gregonzola: Naw, you want to marry and fuck a horse, go for it. The horse won't care.
[08:23] Gregonzola: Just don't try to marry and fuck a cat, as that will injure the cat.
[08:23] Everybody: It's not the horse-fucking that bothers me, it's my bizarre desire to want to have a conversation with them afterward.
[08:23] Gregonzola: That's a good point. People keep expecting Mrs. Ed, and that just isn't happening, folks.
[08:24] Everybody: If you just want to fuck the horse, you should probably keep her as an equimistress or a whorse.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
The Move
[11:19] Gregonzola:
Jesa's good people.
[11:20] Everybody: I don't do gingers, but since I intend to remain celibate for life, this sounds like a wokrable arrangement.
[11:21] Gregonzola: You should make an exception for Jesa.
[11:21] Gregonzola: I don't think she's ready for celibacy.
[11:21] MISS HAVISHAM: she will have a whole new city at her doorstep, full of people who will help her avoid celibacy
[11:21] jesabele: As long as I can get mine on the side I don't care if he chooses celibacy
[11:21] Gregonzola: Fair point.
[11:22] Gregonzola: I don't think Pooch is the jealous type, especially since he really just wants your company.
[11:22] Everybody: Fine, how about a compromise. You don't get any on the side, and I agree to performing regular oral service.
[11:23] jesabele: oral service does not cut it. I need unicorns
[11:23] jesabele: I have only been orally serviced a few times in the last two years
[11:24] Everybody: Ok. Give me 3 months to prove that oral service CAN cut it.
[11:24] Gregonzola: For those who have forgotten, "unicorns" are orgasms that don't involve clitoral stimulation.
[11:24] Everybody: Then we'll revise or dissolve the contract.
[11:20] Everybody: I don't do gingers, but since I intend to remain celibate for life, this sounds like a wokrable arrangement.
[11:21] Gregonzola: You should make an exception for Jesa.
[11:21] Gregonzola: I don't think she's ready for celibacy.
[11:21] MISS HAVISHAM: she will have a whole new city at her doorstep, full of people who will help her avoid celibacy
[11:21] jesabele: As long as I can get mine on the side I don't care if he chooses celibacy
[11:21] Gregonzola: Fair point.
[11:22] Gregonzola: I don't think Pooch is the jealous type, especially since he really just wants your company.
[11:22] Everybody: Fine, how about a compromise. You don't get any on the side, and I agree to performing regular oral service.
[11:23] jesabele: oral service does not cut it. I need unicorns
[11:23] jesabele: I have only been orally serviced a few times in the last two years
[11:24] Everybody: Ok. Give me 3 months to prove that oral service CAN cut it.
[11:24] Gregonzola: For those who have forgotten, "unicorns" are orgasms that don't involve clitoral stimulation.
[11:24] Everybody: Then we'll revise or dissolve the contract.
You did what?
[10:35] Everybody:
It sounds like the most bizarre opening line ever in a conversation.
[10:35] Everybody: "I flushed a steak this weekend. It's still down there."
[10:35] MISS HAVISHAM: it sounds like some kind of euphemism
[10:35] MISS HAVISHAM: for something iw ouldn't ask any further about
[10:35] MISS HAVISHAM: "Oh... kay. well, let's go out to eat then"
[10:35] Everybody: This is the kind of conversation I would walk into in a public place and be all. "Ok, you have to explain this."
[10:36] Everybody: Kind of like the bit where two people walk by the opposite direction and one says to the other, "So they tasered her AGAIN ..."
[10:35] Everybody: "I flushed a steak this weekend. It's still down there."
[10:35] MISS HAVISHAM: it sounds like some kind of euphemism
[10:35] MISS HAVISHAM: for something iw ouldn't ask any further about
[10:35] MISS HAVISHAM: "Oh... kay. well, let's go out to eat then"
[10:35] Everybody: This is the kind of conversation I would walk into in a public place and be all. "Ok, you have to explain this."
[10:36] Everybody: Kind of like the bit where two people walk by the opposite direction and one says to the other, "So they tasered her AGAIN ..."
Who's the Man?
[10:25] Gregonzola:
Shoo is in this situation because he flushed some things he shouldn't and
he doesn't want to talk to the maintenance guy for his apartments.
[10:25] Gregonzola: In case you're wondering, steak, potatoes and pickles should not be flushed.
[10:26] sYdney rebik: CMON SHOO you know you're not supposed to flush your feminine hygene products
[10:26] Shoo86: you say that
[10:27] Shoo86: but i dont think many people can say they pulled half of a steak out of their toilet
[10:27] Shoo86: spoiler alert: i can
[10:25] Gregonzola: In case you're wondering, steak, potatoes and pickles should not be flushed.
[10:26] sYdney rebik: CMON SHOO you know you're not supposed to flush your feminine hygene products
[10:26] Shoo86: you say that
[10:27] Shoo86: but i dont think many people can say they pulled half of a steak out of their toilet
[10:27] Shoo86: spoiler alert: i can
Let's not. I was ambiguous for a reason.
[09:56] Gregonzola:
So, have you used your new toy to ream out your pooper, Shoo?
[09:57] Shoo86: lets be less ambiguous
[09:57] Shoo86: i used the auger to clear the trap
[09:57] sYdney rebik: I decided to fuck with the clerk at Whole Foods yesterday and asked if they carry dehydrated water
[09:58] Shoo86: lmao syd
[09:58] Shoo86: hahaha
[09:58] sYdney rebik: He looked all around for it, then asked his co-workers hahahaha
[09:59] Everybody: I didn't see "with" at first.
[09:59] sYdney rebik: His co-worker then asks me "What do you usually use that for? Baking? Drinking?" and i couldn't contain my laughter
[09:59] Everybody: perhaps we are a clan of loose morals.
[09:59] Shoo86: if you asked me that id find one of those empty containers and tell you to just add water
[09:59] jesabele: Who you calling loose?
[10:00] Shoo86: nalgene bottles or whatever
[10:00] sYdney rebik: loosy goosy
[10:00] Shoo86: jesabutt
[09:57] Shoo86: lets be less ambiguous
[09:57] Shoo86: i used the auger to clear the trap
[09:57] sYdney rebik: I decided to fuck with the clerk at Whole Foods yesterday and asked if they carry dehydrated water
[09:58] Shoo86: lmao syd
[09:58] Shoo86: hahaha
[09:58] sYdney rebik: He looked all around for it, then asked his co-workers hahahaha
[09:59] Everybody: I didn't see "with" at first.
[09:59] sYdney rebik: His co-worker then asks me "What do you usually use that for? Baking? Drinking?" and i couldn't contain my laughter
[09:59] Everybody: perhaps we are a clan of loose morals.
[09:59] Shoo86: if you asked me that id find one of those empty containers and tell you to just add water
[09:59] jesabele: Who you calling loose?
[10:00] Shoo86: nalgene bottles or whatever
[10:00] sYdney rebik: loosy goosy
[10:00] Shoo86: jesabutt
Monday, June 24, 2013
The drama continues
[13:34] Shoo86:
im gonna end up with my hand down this toilet tonight, i can tell
[13:34] Gregonzola: If the clog is that far down, your hand won't do any good. You need a drain snake.
[13:35] Everybody: This is entirely a metaphor for anal fisting.
[13:35] Gregonzola: Yes.
[13:36] Gregonzola: If you were in a house, I'd say try getting the garden hose and giving it some pressure down the hole.
[13:36] Gregonzola: Might push the offending crap out of the trap.
[13:36] Everybody: Especially if you have one of those ballooning nozzles thingies.
[13:37] Gregonzola: Yep, I have one.
[13:38] Gregonzola: Shoo, you can borrow my expanding nozzle to clear your drain.
[13:39] Shoo86: i saw one of those
[13:39] Shoo86: but i had no way to hook it up to anything
[13:39] Shoo86: plus i thought the plunger would work
[13:39] Shoo86: brb
[13:40] Gregonzola: The plunger probably would if you could get it to seal.
[13:40] Gregonzola: I have yet to have a plunger fail me.
[13:41] Gregonzola: 'Course, I've never flushed a 5 course meal and a hedgehog down my crapper.
[13:42] Big Daddy Grimm: not without copious amounts of alcohol first
[13:34] Gregonzola: If the clog is that far down, your hand won't do any good. You need a drain snake.
[13:35] Everybody: This is entirely a metaphor for anal fisting.
[13:35] Gregonzola: Yes.
[13:36] Gregonzola: If you were in a house, I'd say try getting the garden hose and giving it some pressure down the hole.
[13:36] Gregonzola: Might push the offending crap out of the trap.
[13:36] Everybody: Especially if you have one of those ballooning nozzles thingies.
[13:37] Gregonzola: Yep, I have one.
[13:38] Gregonzola: Shoo, you can borrow my expanding nozzle to clear your drain.
[13:39] Shoo86: i saw one of those
[13:39] Shoo86: but i had no way to hook it up to anything
[13:39] Shoo86: plus i thought the plunger would work
[13:39] Shoo86: brb
[13:40] Gregonzola: The plunger probably would if you could get it to seal.
[13:40] Gregonzola: I have yet to have a plunger fail me.
[13:41] Gregonzola: 'Course, I've never flushed a 5 course meal and a hedgehog down my crapper.
[13:42] Big Daddy Grimm: not without copious amounts of alcohol first
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Could Fix This
[12:36] Shoo86:
have any of you ever had to call a plumber for a clogged toilet?
[12:37] Gregonzola: No, usually a plunger does it for me.
[12:37] Gregonzola: Do you have a snake lying around, or a friend with one? I mean a drain snake, not an actual reptile.
[12:37] Shoo86: no
[12:38] Everybody: Do you have a cherry bomb or m80? ;>
[12:38] Shoo86: also i didnt have a plunger
[12:38] Shoo86: so i went and bought one
[12:38] KrakMunky69: i had to because one of my friends was a fucking junkie and flushed a tampon down my old ass plumbing
[12:38] Shoo86: and it doesnt even seal around the hole
[12:38] Shoo86: and i had to walk there
[12:38] Everybody: Wtf, Shoo, did you borrow a frost giant's toilet?
[12:38] Shoo86: so i wasted like an hour
[12:38] Shoo86: i mean it curves weird
[12:39] Shoo86: so the thing is sitting up too high
[12:39] Shoo86: and air gets out the sides
[12:39] Everybody: Oh. :(
[12:39] Shoo86: even tho the circle is big enough
[12:39] Everybody: That's shitty design.
[12:39] Shoo86: so all i did was spray toilet water on my arms
[12:39] Shoo86: its not totally clogged, it flushes
[12:39] Shoo86: but it takes forever
[12:41] MISS HAVISHAM: ew. sorry for your lots.
[12:42] Shoo86: how expensive is a plumber
[12:42] Shoo86: and how quick can they usually make an appt
[12:42] KrakMunky69: you are probably looking at $150 minimum
[12:42] Shoo86: if i had a fucking snake i could do this myself
[12:43] KrakMunky69: more if it's an emergency visit
[12:43] KrakMunky69: it would be cheaper to go buy a $30 snake lol
[12:44] Everybody: Strangely, I agree with krak on this one.
[12:44] Shoo86: i didnt see that at the hardware store i went to =(
[12:44] fantabulous: You might try pouring a 2 liter of coke in there, if it's not already overflowing.
[12:44] Gregonzola: Stick your hand down there, bro.
[12:44] Shoo86: am also limited by not having a car
[12:44] Gregonzola: Way cheaper than a plumber.
[12:44] MISS HAVISHAM: "Stick your hand up there, Bro" is what I read
[12:44] Everybody: How long has it been in this condition?
[12:44] Shoo86: if the wire hanger didnt work my hand certainly wont reach any further
[12:44] Shoo86: like 4 hours
[12:45] Gregonzola: Ah, good point. Leave it longer and water might do the work for you. -hic-
[12:45] fantabulous: This is one of those situations where I'm not sure if it would be useful to shit gold.
[12:45] Gregonzola: If you only flushed bodily effluvia and toilet paper, that stuff breaks down.
[12:45] Everybody: Where are you in general, shoo? House? apartment? newer? older?
[12:45] Shoo86: apt
[12:45] Shoo86: new
[12:45] Shoo86: its my fault
[12:45] KrakMunky69: depends how solid of a shit it was lol
[12:46] Shoo86: i threw shit in there i shouldnt have
[12:46] Shoo86: i was being lazy
[12:46] Everybody: Ohhhh.
[12:46] Gregonzola: There has to be a way to make that plunger seal.
[12:46] KrakMunky69: lol and now it's gonna cost you like $300
[12:46] Gregonzola: You can still call apartment maintenance can't you?
[12:46] Shoo86: and now its made things 100x more difficult haha
[12:46] Shoo86: oh..
[12:46] Shoo86: hmm
[12:46] Shoo86: thats a thought
[12:47] Shoo86: i bet Javier could fix it
[12:47] Everybody: I thought you were skipping that just outta some kind of gentrified nature.
[12:47] Gregonzola: If you live in an apartment, that's part of your rent.
[12:47] Gregonzola: Make use of him.
[12:47] KrakMunky69: .....lol how do you not think of contacting maintenance?
[12:47] fantabulous: Just hope he doesn't poop in your mouth and punch you in the face for clogging the toilet.
[12:48] Shoo86: idk
[12:48] Gregonzola: Although he's going to look at you funny when he starts pulling your used condoms and leftover lasagna from the toilet.
[12:48] Gregonzola: He'll be like, "Dude, this is what your garbage can is for."
[12:48] Shoo86: lol
[12:48] Shoo86: ffs
[12:48] KrakMunky69: shoo you are like this super smart kol genius and pharmacist but sometimes i think you lack common sense :-p
[12:48] Shoo86: shortcuts always lead to more issues down the road
[12:49] Shoo86: and yet i do things like this
[12:49] Gregonzola: "Look, I was just trying to see what happens if you flush eggplant."
[12:49] Shoo86: i dont lack it
[12:49] Shoo86: i ignore it when its easier sometimes
[12:49] MISS HAVISHAM: used condoms and leftover lasagna, STOP
[12:49] Shoo86: haha
[12:49] MISS HAVISHAM: I JUST ATE
[12:49] Gregonzola: Your shredder broke down so you decided to flush sensitive documents instead?
[12:52] Everybody: I hear two reasons for ninja turtles: 1) sewers, 2) Shredder.
[12:52] Shoo86: hmm
[12:52] Everybody: Plumbers:1, Ninja Turtles: 2
[12:52] MISS HAVISHAM: how many reasons do we need in order to invoke them?
[12:52] MISS HAVISHAM: i think 3 reasons plus an incantation of some kind
[12:52] Everybody: Four, I think.
[12:52] Everybody: One for each turtle.
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: Oh, good call.
[12:53] Shoo86: so i should call the maintenence guy then?
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: we can work that into the incantation
[12:53] Shoo86: or go find him or whatever
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: shoo, you are seriously dumb
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: yes, call him
[12:53] Shoo86: damnit im a fucking asshole
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: then suffer through the indignity of him finding whatever it is you flushed
[12:53] Shoo86: i dont wanna deal with him
[12:53] Everybody: Unless you flushed something that violates your lease.
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: it'd be as bad with a plumber though, and at least this way you don't have to pay
[12:53] Shoo86: hes such a dick lol
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: like a limb
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: ok, meeting time now :(
[12:54] Shoo86: lmao
[12:54] Shoo86: you guys are funny
[12:54] fantabulous: If you really don't want to deal with the maintenance guy or a plumber, just start pooping in bags.
[12:54] Shoo86: idk if theres a flushing clause in my lease, i should check
[12:54] Everybody: Well, I was thinking about flushing drugs, or firearms, or tenants you haven't officially reported.
[12:55] Shoo86: yeah, i hear ya
[12:55] Shoo86: not you fanta
[12:55] Shoo86: lol
[12:55] KrakMunky69: or pets other than fish
[12:55] fantabulous: But pugs are so small!
[12:56] Everybody: Goat heads.
[12:56] Shoo86: hmm
[12:57] Gregonzola: If it's really compromising, lease-breaking stuff then you'll probably have to shell out for a plumber.
[12:57] KrakMunky69: it would explain the black candles and robes though pooch
[12:57] Everybody nods. Krak, do you have any goat skulls?
[12:57] Shoo86: nah its just like food and stuff
[12:57] Everybody: I figure if he flushes something any weirder than what he already flushed, Javier will remember the goat skull.
[12:57] KrakMunky69: i do, 2 of them
[12:58] Shoo86: stuff that would have gotten gross and made me go to the dumpster and i didnt feel like it
[12:58] Shoo86: so i just flushed it
[12:58] Everybody: Oh.
[12:58] Everybody: Bizarre.
[12:58] Everybody: I never would've thought of that.
[12:58] Everybody: I guess it was optimal.
[12:58] MISS HAVISHAM: SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT
[12:59] KrakMunky69: or lazy, whichever
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: except i guess it wasn't. shoo misjudges optimal, hits embarrassing instead
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: had to happen
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: bainow
[12:59] Shoo86: bye havi
[12:59] Shoo86: ughughughughugh
[12:59] Shoo86: this guys such an asshole i dont wanna deal with him today haha
[13:00] Gregonzola: [link] http:// kolcrap.blogspot.com /2013/06/shoo-has- clogged-toilet-i- figured-out.html
[13:00] Shoo86: im gonna go fiddle with it for another hour
[13:00] Shoo86: bbs
[13:00] fantabulous: Enjoy shitting in bags, shoo.
[12:37] Gregonzola: No, usually a plunger does it for me.
[12:37] Gregonzola: Do you have a snake lying around, or a friend with one? I mean a drain snake, not an actual reptile.
[12:37] Shoo86: no
[12:38] Everybody: Do you have a cherry bomb or m80? ;>
[12:38] Shoo86: also i didnt have a plunger
[12:38] Shoo86: so i went and bought one
[12:38] KrakMunky69: i had to because one of my friends was a fucking junkie and flushed a tampon down my old ass plumbing
[12:38] Shoo86: and it doesnt even seal around the hole
[12:38] Shoo86: and i had to walk there
[12:38] Everybody: Wtf, Shoo, did you borrow a frost giant's toilet?
[12:38] Shoo86: so i wasted like an hour
[12:38] Shoo86: i mean it curves weird
[12:39] Shoo86: so the thing is sitting up too high
[12:39] Shoo86: and air gets out the sides
[12:39] Everybody: Oh. :(
[12:39] Shoo86: even tho the circle is big enough
[12:39] Everybody: That's shitty design.
[12:39] Shoo86: so all i did was spray toilet water on my arms
[12:39] Shoo86: its not totally clogged, it flushes
[12:39] Shoo86: but it takes forever
[12:41] MISS HAVISHAM: ew. sorry for your lots.
[12:42] Shoo86: how expensive is a plumber
[12:42] Shoo86: and how quick can they usually make an appt
[12:42] KrakMunky69: you are probably looking at $150 minimum
[12:42] Shoo86: if i had a fucking snake i could do this myself
[12:43] KrakMunky69: more if it's an emergency visit
[12:43] KrakMunky69: it would be cheaper to go buy a $30 snake lol
[12:44] Everybody: Strangely, I agree with krak on this one.
[12:44] Shoo86: i didnt see that at the hardware store i went to =(
[12:44] fantabulous: You might try pouring a 2 liter of coke in there, if it's not already overflowing.
[12:44] Gregonzola: Stick your hand down there, bro.
[12:44] Shoo86: am also limited by not having a car
[12:44] Gregonzola: Way cheaper than a plumber.
[12:44] MISS HAVISHAM: "Stick your hand up there, Bro" is what I read
[12:44] Everybody: How long has it been in this condition?
[12:44] Shoo86: if the wire hanger didnt work my hand certainly wont reach any further
[12:44] Shoo86: like 4 hours
[12:45] Gregonzola: Ah, good point. Leave it longer and water might do the work for you. -hic-
[12:45] fantabulous: This is one of those situations where I'm not sure if it would be useful to shit gold.
[12:45] Gregonzola: If you only flushed bodily effluvia and toilet paper, that stuff breaks down.
[12:45] Everybody: Where are you in general, shoo? House? apartment? newer? older?
[12:45] Shoo86: apt
[12:45] Shoo86: new
[12:45] Shoo86: its my fault
[12:45] KrakMunky69: depends how solid of a shit it was lol
[12:46] Shoo86: i threw shit in there i shouldnt have
[12:46] Shoo86: i was being lazy
[12:46] Everybody: Ohhhh.
[12:46] Gregonzola: There has to be a way to make that plunger seal.
[12:46] KrakMunky69: lol and now it's gonna cost you like $300
[12:46] Gregonzola: You can still call apartment maintenance can't you?
[12:46] Shoo86: and now its made things 100x more difficult haha
[12:46] Shoo86: oh..
[12:46] Shoo86: hmm
[12:46] Shoo86: thats a thought
[12:47] Shoo86: i bet Javier could fix it
[12:47] Everybody: I thought you were skipping that just outta some kind of gentrified nature.
[12:47] Gregonzola: If you live in an apartment, that's part of your rent.
[12:47] Gregonzola: Make use of him.
[12:47] KrakMunky69: .....lol how do you not think of contacting maintenance?
[12:47] fantabulous: Just hope he doesn't poop in your mouth and punch you in the face for clogging the toilet.
[12:48] Shoo86: idk
[12:48] Gregonzola: Although he's going to look at you funny when he starts pulling your used condoms and leftover lasagna from the toilet.
[12:48] Gregonzola: He'll be like, "Dude, this is what your garbage can is for."
[12:48] Shoo86: lol
[12:48] Shoo86: ffs
[12:48] KrakMunky69: shoo you are like this super smart kol genius and pharmacist but sometimes i think you lack common sense :-p
[12:48] Shoo86: shortcuts always lead to more issues down the road
[12:49] Shoo86: and yet i do things like this
[12:49] Gregonzola: "Look, I was just trying to see what happens if you flush eggplant."
[12:49] Shoo86: i dont lack it
[12:49] Shoo86: i ignore it when its easier sometimes
[12:49] MISS HAVISHAM: used condoms and leftover lasagna, STOP
[12:49] Shoo86: haha
[12:49] MISS HAVISHAM: I JUST ATE
[12:49] Gregonzola: Your shredder broke down so you decided to flush sensitive documents instead?
[12:52] Everybody: I hear two reasons for ninja turtles: 1) sewers, 2) Shredder.
[12:52] Shoo86: hmm
[12:52] Everybody: Plumbers:1, Ninja Turtles: 2
[12:52] MISS HAVISHAM: how many reasons do we need in order to invoke them?
[12:52] MISS HAVISHAM: i think 3 reasons plus an incantation of some kind
[12:52] Everybody: Four, I think.
[12:52] Everybody: One for each turtle.
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: Oh, good call.
[12:53] Shoo86: so i should call the maintenence guy then?
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: we can work that into the incantation
[12:53] Shoo86: or go find him or whatever
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: shoo, you are seriously dumb
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: yes, call him
[12:53] Shoo86: damnit im a fucking asshole
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: then suffer through the indignity of him finding whatever it is you flushed
[12:53] Shoo86: i dont wanna deal with him
[12:53] Everybody: Unless you flushed something that violates your lease.
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: it'd be as bad with a plumber though, and at least this way you don't have to pay
[12:53] Shoo86: hes such a dick lol
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: like a limb
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: ok, meeting time now :(
[12:54] Shoo86: lmao
[12:54] Shoo86: you guys are funny
[12:54] fantabulous: If you really don't want to deal with the maintenance guy or a plumber, just start pooping in bags.
[12:54] Shoo86: idk if theres a flushing clause in my lease, i should check
[12:54] Everybody: Well, I was thinking about flushing drugs, or firearms, or tenants you haven't officially reported.
[12:55] Shoo86: yeah, i hear ya
[12:55] Shoo86: not you fanta
[12:55] Shoo86: lol
[12:55] KrakMunky69: or pets other than fish
[12:55] fantabulous: But pugs are so small!
[12:56] Everybody: Goat heads.
[12:56] Shoo86: hmm
[12:57] Gregonzola: If it's really compromising, lease-breaking stuff then you'll probably have to shell out for a plumber.
[12:57] KrakMunky69: it would explain the black candles and robes though pooch
[12:57] Everybody nods. Krak, do you have any goat skulls?
[12:57] Shoo86: nah its just like food and stuff
[12:57] Everybody: I figure if he flushes something any weirder than what he already flushed, Javier will remember the goat skull.
[12:57] KrakMunky69: i do, 2 of them
[12:58] Shoo86: stuff that would have gotten gross and made me go to the dumpster and i didnt feel like it
[12:58] Shoo86: so i just flushed it
[12:58] Everybody: Oh.
[12:58] Everybody: Bizarre.
[12:58] Everybody: I never would've thought of that.
[12:58] Everybody: I guess it was optimal.
[12:58] MISS HAVISHAM: SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT
[12:59] KrakMunky69: or lazy, whichever
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: except i guess it wasn't. shoo misjudges optimal, hits embarrassing instead
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: had to happen
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: bainow
[12:59] Shoo86: bye havi
[12:59] Shoo86: ughughughughugh
[12:59] Shoo86: this guys such an asshole i dont wanna deal with him today haha
[13:00] Gregonzola: [link] http:// kolcrap.blogspot.com /2013/06/shoo-has- clogged-toilet-i- figured-out.html
[13:00] Shoo86: im gonna go fiddle with it for another hour
[13:00] Shoo86: bbs
[13:00] fantabulous: Enjoy shitting in bags, shoo.
Shoo has a clogged toilet. I figured out how that happened.
I love Monkeys
The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they normally sell for a few thousand a piece. I decided not to look the gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I love monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later, I found out why the monkeys were so inexpensive. They all died for no apparent reason. They all just kinda dropped dead, kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies 5 hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room. They were on the bed, in the dresser; hanging from my book case, etc. It looked like I had 200 little throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. So I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead dry monkeys. I tried to pretend they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, until they started to decompose. It started to smell real bad I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was so embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I had to eat all the food in the freezer so It wouldn't go bad. I tried to burn them but little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had 1 dead wet monkey in my toilet, two dead frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead charred monkeys in a pile on my bed and the odor wasn't improving.
I became so agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He wouldn't take that either. I didn't bother asking him about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended to like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I love Monkeys
The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they normally sell for a few thousand a piece. I decided not to look the gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I love monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later, I found out why the monkeys were so inexpensive. They all died for no apparent reason. They all just kinda dropped dead, kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies 5 hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room. They were on the bed, in the dresser; hanging from my book case, etc. It looked like I had 200 little throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. So I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead dry monkeys. I tried to pretend they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, until they started to decompose. It started to smell real bad I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was so embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I had to eat all the food in the freezer so It wouldn't go bad. I tried to burn them but little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had 1 dead wet monkey in my toilet, two dead frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead charred monkeys in a pile on my bed and the odor wasn't improving.
I became so agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He wouldn't take that either. I didn't bother asking him about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended to like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I love Monkeys
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Wasteland
Shoo86: im getting sick of wasting tunrns on the battlefield tho
MISS HAVISHAM: love is a turn-wasting battlefield, shoo
Friday, June 21, 2013
The Pie War Continues
[09:44] PizzaDaHutt:
god damned stouffers pot pies
[09:47] PizzaDaHutt: bottom burnt and top crust is raw
[09:47] PizzaDaHutt: bottom burnt and top crust is raw
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Cilantro
[11:12] MISS
HAVISHAM: i wouldn't say i'm biased against them
[11:12] MISS HAVISHAM: i just don't like them.
[11:12] MISS HAVISHAM: now you want to talk bias, ask me about cilantro
[11:13] Gregonzola: How do you feel about cilantro?
[11:13] MISS HAVISHAM: I FUCKING HATE CILANTRO
[11:12] MISS HAVISHAM: i just don't like them.
[11:12] MISS HAVISHAM: now you want to talk bias, ask me about cilantro
[11:13] Gregonzola: How do you feel about cilantro?
[11:13] MISS HAVISHAM: I FUCKING HATE CILANTRO
She Speaks Spanish Really Well
[10:17] MISS
HAVISHAM: i'm listening to a song from some Bollywood
movie. it's in Hindi.
[10:17] MISS HAVISHAM: my stupid coworker came by and said she knows this song "and i can translate it for you because i speak really good Spanish."
[10:17] MISS HAVISHAM: .............
[10:17] MISS HAVISHAM: ok, hit me. i'm dying to know.
[10:18] MISS HAVISHAM: unfortunately she was then called away. but i hope she comes back later to enlighten me.
[10:17] MISS HAVISHAM: my stupid coworker came by and said she knows this song "and i can translate it for you because i speak really good Spanish."
[10:17] MISS HAVISHAM: .............
[10:17] MISS HAVISHAM: ok, hit me. i'm dying to know.
[10:18] MISS HAVISHAM: unfortunately she was then called away. but i hope she comes back later to enlighten me.
Havi says Dick is Gross
[08:40] Everybody:
He's 6 or 8 years younger than I, so I had a hand in his corruption.
[08:41] Gregonzola: Good job. Young men need corrupting.
[08:43] Gregonzola: Havi, get on that.
[08:43] Gregonzola: Pooch can't do this alone.
[08:51] MISS HAVISHAM: dear god.
[08:51] Gregonzola: Yes?
[08:51] MISS HAVISHAM: i have zero interest in young men.
[08:51] Carling: damn
[08:51] Everybody: But they have such eager dicks
[08:52] MISS HAVISHAM: gross.
[08:41] Gregonzola: Good job. Young men need corrupting.
[08:43] Gregonzola: Havi, get on that.
[08:43] Gregonzola: Pooch can't do this alone.
[08:51] MISS HAVISHAM: dear god.
[08:51] Gregonzola: Yes?
[08:51] MISS HAVISHAM: i have zero interest in young men.
[08:51] Carling: damn
[08:51] Everybody: But they have such eager dicks
[08:52] MISS HAVISHAM: gross.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Now that's Hard
[08:27] Big
Daddy Grimm: You lose 2,887,680 hit points
[08:27] Big Daddy Grimm: ouch....
[08:28] Big Daddy Grimm: I havent been hit that hard since I asked HAVI for nude pics...
[08:27] Big Daddy Grimm: ouch....
[08:28] Big Daddy Grimm: I havent been hit that hard since I asked HAVI for nude pics...
And Now a Message from our Leeverb
Monday, June 17, 2013
Industrial Strength
[21:04] Lena
Linguine: "could you turn on my power so I can use my
industrial-strength vibrator?"
[21:04] Gregonzola: I'm thinking industrial strength would be overkill.
[21:04] Gregonzola: You're looking to stimulate, not rip off. -hic-
[21:05] Shoo86: lmao
[21:05] Shoo86: SAYS YOU
[21:05] Lena Linguine: "can you turn on my power so I can use my hitachi magic wand?"
[21:05] Gregonzola: I don't know what that is, but it sounds like fun.
[21:06] Shoo86: i believe its the rolls royce of vibrators
[21:06] Lena Linguine: [link] http:// www.amazon.com/ Vibratex-HV-250R- Hitachi-Magic- Massager/dp/ B00005M1WE
[21:06] Gregonzola: Saweet!
[21:06] Gregonzola: Okay, so what makes it better than a regular vibrator?
[21:07] Lena Linguine: it's far more powerful
[21:07] Gregonzola: But will it make me waffles *while* getting me off?
[21:07] Lena Linguine: no, but your wife can't either.
[21:08] Gregonzola: I make the waffles, so I make them while she's getting me off. Division of labor, just like any good relationship.
[21:09] Lena Linguine: I wouldn't want to do that in a room with a stove.
[21:09] Lena Linguine: a hot stove
[21:09] Gregonzola: Wuss.
[21:09] Shoo86: haha
[21:09] Gregonzola: But you don't make waffles on a hot stove.
[21:10] Lena Linguine: I'd make waffles on a stove, cooking frozen ones
[21:10] Gregonzola: Those go in the toaster, silly.
[21:10] Gregonzola: And toasters are totally safe.
[21:11] Lena Linguine: I'd end up sticking my finger in the toaster accidentally
[21:11] Shoo86: >.>
[21:12] Lena Linguine: I couldn't concentrate on fucking in the kitchen (or blowing in the kitchen) and other appliances.
[21:12] Gregonzola: In the theoretical situation where I'd be making waffles, I wouldn't let you near the toaster. It'd be okay. But, we have once again confirmed that a Lena-Greg pairing wouldn't work.
[21:12] Gregonzola: Which is okay. We're both comfortable with that.
[21:13] Gregonzola: I like a little adventure and danger in my sex. I'm willing to risk burned buns for kitchen naughty.
[21:13] Shoo86: lol
[21:14] Lena Linguine: I'd fuck in the kitchen if all the appliances were unplugged.
[21:14] Shoo86 knows to never eat at greg's
[21:14] RAMONE: wat
[21:14] Shoo86: or lena's
[21:14] Gregonzola: I clean my damned counters you prude.
[21:14] Lena Linguine: shoo, there's not enough room in my kitchen.
[21:14] Gregonzola: Hey, Lee. We're discussing kitchen sex.
[21:14] Gregonzola: Lena feels the appliances are too dangerous.
[21:15] Lena Linguine: two people can't fit into my kitchen at the same time.
[21:15] RAMONE: wiping it with your butt doesn't count
[21:15] Shoo86: haha
[21:15] Lena Linguine: definitely no orgy
[21:15] Gregonzola: My ass is a freaking clorox wipe.
[21:15] RAMONE: Bleachbutt
[21:15] Gregonzola: If your floor's cleaned, there's nothing wrong with a kitchen orgy.
[21:17] Lena Linguine: I have a tiny kitchen.
[21:18] Gregonzola: Okay, so no more than three guys at once, Lena.
[21:18] Shoo86: if i hang out with any of you we are going out to eat
[21:18] Gregonzola: I love eating out.
[21:04] Gregonzola: I'm thinking industrial strength would be overkill.
[21:04] Gregonzola: You're looking to stimulate, not rip off. -hic-
[21:05] Shoo86: lmao
[21:05] Shoo86: SAYS YOU
[21:05] Lena Linguine: "can you turn on my power so I can use my hitachi magic wand?"
[21:05] Gregonzola: I don't know what that is, but it sounds like fun.
[21:06] Shoo86: i believe its the rolls royce of vibrators
[21:06] Lena Linguine: [link] http:// www.amazon.com/ Vibratex-HV-250R- Hitachi-Magic- Massager/dp/ B00005M1WE
[21:06] Gregonzola: Saweet!
[21:06] Gregonzola: Okay, so what makes it better than a regular vibrator?
[21:07] Lena Linguine: it's far more powerful
[21:07] Gregonzola: But will it make me waffles *while* getting me off?
[21:07] Lena Linguine: no, but your wife can't either.
[21:08] Gregonzola: I make the waffles, so I make them while she's getting me off. Division of labor, just like any good relationship.
[21:09] Lena Linguine: I wouldn't want to do that in a room with a stove.
[21:09] Lena Linguine: a hot stove
[21:09] Gregonzola: Wuss.
[21:09] Shoo86: haha
[21:09] Gregonzola: But you don't make waffles on a hot stove.
[21:10] Lena Linguine: I'd make waffles on a stove, cooking frozen ones
[21:10] Gregonzola: Those go in the toaster, silly.
[21:10] Gregonzola: And toasters are totally safe.
[21:11] Lena Linguine: I'd end up sticking my finger in the toaster accidentally
[21:11] Shoo86: >.>
[21:12] Lena Linguine: I couldn't concentrate on fucking in the kitchen (or blowing in the kitchen) and other appliances.
[21:12] Gregonzola: In the theoretical situation where I'd be making waffles, I wouldn't let you near the toaster. It'd be okay. But, we have once again confirmed that a Lena-Greg pairing wouldn't work.
[21:12] Gregonzola: Which is okay. We're both comfortable with that.
[21:13] Gregonzola: I like a little adventure and danger in my sex. I'm willing to risk burned buns for kitchen naughty.
[21:13] Shoo86: lol
[21:14] Lena Linguine: I'd fuck in the kitchen if all the appliances were unplugged.
[21:14] Shoo86 knows to never eat at greg's
[21:14] RAMONE: wat
[21:14] Shoo86: or lena's
[21:14] Gregonzola: I clean my damned counters you prude.
[21:14] Lena Linguine: shoo, there's not enough room in my kitchen.
[21:14] Gregonzola: Hey, Lee. We're discussing kitchen sex.
[21:14] Gregonzola: Lena feels the appliances are too dangerous.
[21:15] Lena Linguine: two people can't fit into my kitchen at the same time.
[21:15] RAMONE: wiping it with your butt doesn't count
[21:15] Shoo86: haha
[21:15] Lena Linguine: definitely no orgy
[21:15] Gregonzola: My ass is a freaking clorox wipe.
[21:15] RAMONE: Bleachbutt
[21:15] Gregonzola: If your floor's cleaned, there's nothing wrong with a kitchen orgy.
[21:17] Lena Linguine: I have a tiny kitchen.
[21:18] Gregonzola: Okay, so no more than three guys at once, Lena.
[21:18] Shoo86: if i hang out with any of you we are going out to eat
[21:18] Gregonzola: I love eating out.
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