Monday, June 24, 2013

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Could Fix This

[12:36] Shoo86: have any of you ever had to call a plumber for a clogged toilet?
[12:37] Gregonzola: No, usually a plunger does it for me.
[12:37] Gregonzola: Do you have a snake lying around, or a friend with one? I mean a drain snake, not an actual reptile.
[12:37] Shoo86: no
[12:38] Everybody: Do you have a cherry bomb or m80? ;>
[12:38] Shoo86: also i didnt have a plunger
[12:38] Shoo86: so i went and bought one
[12:38] KrakMunky69: i had to because one of my friends was a fucking junkie and flushed a tampon down my old ass plumbing
[12:38] Shoo86: and it doesnt even seal around the hole
[12:38] Shoo86: and i had to walk there
[12:38] Everybody: Wtf, Shoo, did you borrow a frost giant's toilet?
[12:38] Shoo86: so i wasted like an hour
[12:38] Shoo86: i mean it curves weird
[12:39] Shoo86: so the thing is sitting up too high
[12:39] Shoo86: and air gets out the sides
[12:39] Everybody: Oh. :(
[12:39] Shoo86: even tho the circle is big enough
[12:39] Everybody: That's shitty design.
[12:39] Shoo86: so all i did was spray toilet water on my arms
[12:39] Shoo86: its not totally clogged, it flushes
[12:39] Shoo86: but it takes forever
[12:41] MISS HAVISHAM: ew. sorry for your lots.
[12:42] Shoo86: how expensive is a plumber
[12:42] Shoo86: and how quick can they usually make an appt
[12:42] KrakMunky69: you are probably looking at $150 minimum
[12:42] Shoo86: if i had a fucking snake i could do this myself
[12:43] KrakMunky69: more if it's an emergency visit
[12:43] KrakMunky69: it would be cheaper to go buy a $30 snake lol
[12:44] Everybody: Strangely, I agree with krak on this one.
[12:44] Shoo86: i didnt see that at the hardware store i went to =(
[12:44] fantabulous: You might try pouring a 2 liter of coke in there, if it's not already overflowing.
[12:44] Gregonzola: Stick your hand down there, bro.
[12:44] Shoo86: am also limited by not having a car
[12:44] Gregonzola: Way cheaper than a plumber.
[12:44] MISS HAVISHAM: "Stick your hand up there, Bro" is what I read
[12:44] Everybody: How long has it been in this condition?
[12:44] Shoo86: if the wire hanger didnt work my hand certainly wont reach any further
[12:44] Shoo86: like 4 hours
[12:45] Gregonzola: Ah, good point. Leave it longer and water might do the work for you. -hic-
[12:45] fantabulous: This is one of those situations where I'm not sure if it would be useful to shit gold.
[12:45] Gregonzola: If you only flushed bodily effluvia and toilet paper, that stuff breaks down.
[12:45] Everybody: Where are you in general, shoo? House? apartment? newer? older?
[12:45] Shoo86: apt
[12:45] Shoo86: new
[12:45] Shoo86: its my fault
[12:45] KrakMunky69: depends how solid of a shit it was lol
[12:46] Shoo86: i threw shit in there i shouldnt have
[12:46] Shoo86: i was being lazy
[12:46] Everybody: Ohhhh.
[12:46] Gregonzola: There has to be a way to make that plunger seal.
[12:46] KrakMunky69: lol and now it's gonna cost you like $300
[12:46] Gregonzola: You can still call apartment maintenance can't you?
[12:46] Shoo86: and now its made things 100x more difficult haha
[12:46] Shoo86: oh..
[12:46] Shoo86: hmm
[12:46] Shoo86: thats a thought
[12:47] Shoo86: i bet Javier could fix it
[12:47] Everybody: I thought you were skipping that just outta some kind of gentrified nature.
[12:47] Gregonzola: If you live in an apartment, that's part of your rent.
[12:47] Gregonzola: Make use of him.
[12:47] KrakMunky69: .....lol how do you not think of contacting maintenance?
[12:47] fantabulous: Just hope he doesn't poop in your mouth and punch you in the face for clogging the toilet.
[12:48] Shoo86: idk
[12:48] Gregonzola: Although he's going to look at you funny when he starts pulling your used condoms and leftover lasagna from the toilet.
[12:48] Gregonzola: He'll be like, "Dude, this is what your garbage can is for."
[12:48] Shoo86: lol
[12:48] Shoo86: ffs
[12:48] KrakMunky69: shoo you are like this super smart kol genius and pharmacist but sometimes i think you lack common sense :-p
[12:48] Shoo86: shortcuts always lead to more issues down the road
[12:49] Shoo86: and yet i do things like this
[12:49] Gregonzola: "Look, I was just trying to see what happens if you flush eggplant."
[12:49] Shoo86: i dont lack it
[12:49] Shoo86: i ignore it when its easier sometimes
[12:49] MISS HAVISHAM: used condoms and leftover lasagna, STOP
[12:49] Shoo86: haha
[12:49] MISS HAVISHAM: I JUST ATE
[12:49] Gregonzola: Your shredder broke down so you decided to flush sensitive documents instead?
[12:52] Everybody: I hear two reasons for ninja turtles: 1) sewers, 2) Shredder.
[12:52] Shoo86: hmm
[12:52] Everybody: Plumbers:1, Ninja Turtles: 2
[12:52] MISS HAVISHAM: how many reasons do we need in order to invoke them?
[12:52] MISS HAVISHAM: i think 3 reasons plus an incantation of some kind
[12:52] Everybody: Four, I think.
[12:52] Everybody: One for each turtle.
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: Oh, good call.
[12:53] Shoo86: so i should call the maintenence guy then?
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: we can work that into the incantation
[12:53] Shoo86: or go find him or whatever
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: shoo, you are seriously dumb
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: yes, call him
[12:53] Shoo86: damnit im a fucking asshole
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: then suffer through the indignity of him finding whatever it is you flushed
[12:53] Shoo86: i dont wanna deal with him
[12:53] Everybody: Unless you flushed something that violates your lease.
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: it'd be as bad with a plumber though, and at least this way you don't have to pay
[12:53] Shoo86: hes such a dick lol
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: like a limb
[12:53] MISS HAVISHAM: ok, meeting time now :(
[12:54] Shoo86: lmao
[12:54] Shoo86: you guys are funny
[12:54] fantabulous: If you really don't want to deal with the maintenance guy or a plumber, just start pooping in bags.
[12:54] Shoo86: idk if theres a flushing clause in my lease, i should check
[12:54] Everybody: Well, I was thinking about flushing drugs, or firearms, or tenants you haven't officially reported.
[12:55] Shoo86: yeah, i hear ya
[12:55] Shoo86: not you fanta
[12:55] Shoo86: lol
[12:55] KrakMunky69: or pets other than fish
[12:55] fantabulous: But pugs are so small!
[12:56] Everybody: Goat heads.
[12:56] Shoo86: hmm
[12:57] Gregonzola: If it's really compromising, lease-breaking stuff then you'll probably have to shell out for a plumber.
[12:57] KrakMunky69: it would explain the black candles and robes though pooch
[12:57] Everybody nods. Krak, do you have any goat skulls?
[12:57] Shoo86: nah its just like food and stuff
[12:57] Everybody: I figure if he flushes something any weirder than what he already flushed, Javier will remember the goat skull.
[12:57] KrakMunky69: i do, 2 of them
[12:58] Shoo86: stuff that would have gotten gross and made me go to the dumpster and i didnt feel like it
[12:58] Shoo86: so i just flushed it
[12:58] Everybody: Oh.
[12:58] Everybody: Bizarre.
[12:58] Everybody: I never would've thought of that.
[12:58] Everybody: I guess it was optimal.
[12:58] MISS HAVISHAM: SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT
[12:59] KrakMunky69: or lazy, whichever
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: except i guess it wasn't. shoo misjudges optimal, hits embarrassing instead
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: had to happen
[12:59] MISS HAVISHAM: bainow
[12:59] Shoo86: bye havi
[12:59] Shoo86: ughughughughugh
[12:59] Shoo86: this guys such an asshole i dont wanna deal with him today haha
[13:00] Gregonzola: [link] http:// kolcrap.blogspot.com /2013/06/shoo-has- clogged-toilet-i- figured-out.html
[13:00] Shoo86: im gonna go fiddle with it for another hour
[13:00] Shoo86: bbs
[13:00] fantabulous: Enjoy shitting in bags, shoo.    

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